Correct Forum??? My sister is having an affair! - 02/05/16 01:15 AM
Heartbroken I am! This would be a very long story if I started from the beginning. Need help navigating though blowing the cover on my sister. Let me preface this with saying that I was previously on this site as Kimberly234 and went through a horrific time with my EX who had affairs while we were married. My sister saw how horrible it was for me and was one of my supporters (besides you wonderful people here...) through my ordeal.
I shared on here about a year and a half ago that my sister was going through a rough spot in her marriage and headed towards a D. That I was sure that her H at the time had an affair. He was married 2.5 months after their D was final. My sis does have emotional issues, I believe she has suffered with depression for years. I believe she has taken something off and on but not seeing a doctor so I don't believe she is really on anything consistently. I have been one of her biggest supporters through her D and have helped her through some rough dark times. She always said she never wanted a D but could not stand the person that her H was.
Zoom to this past Sunday. I get a weird text from my sis, so I call her. (our family worries about her being suicidal). She was sobbing and hard to understand on the phone. She had a fight with her son and was upset because "she was going to end up alone just like her EX said she would." Then she let it slip that she was just as bad as her EX because she had been having an affair for a year and a half!!!! OMG! WHAT????? She said she hated herself and couldn't stand the pain anymore. that the only reason she was still here was because she didn't want to embarrass our Dad. (by committing suicide). WE talked for quite a while longer. She calmed down enough and both her boys were at the house. So we agreed to chat the next day. During this phone call, I had asked her about the cheater man and asked her if she was going to stop. She said that on Friday she had already told him she couldn't see him anymore. And that she didn't have a way of getting in touch with him. He reached out to her when he could.
I don't believe her that she is not going to see him. I am angry, upset and feel betrayed. Of all the people in the world, someone that knew how painful an affair is how could my sister do this?
So I need help navigating this. I refuse to stay silent. I missed a call from my sis on Monday and since then she has not been reachable. I want her to be emotionally healthy and don't want to send her over the edge. I have been thinking a lot and have had sleepless night since I found out. I have been on her facebook page reading her posts and seeing what guys pay attention to her. I go on their facebook page and see what she pays attention to. THEN I remembered over the summer an incredibly weird message she sent me AND some random guy that I had never heard her mention. It was a sticker of the Snoopy dog holding a heart. She texted me the next morning and said it was an accident and she had been drinking. CLICK. CONNECT THE DOTS. This has to be the guy. I am 99.9% sure of it, that I know who he is. And he IS married.
So help me. I love my sister more than anything. She has been my best friend and I hers. I do want to talk to her first and have a real conversation about her stopping the affair. But I am not going to let on that I know who it is yet. She is not the person I once knew and I can never have that same relationship with her. Maybe one day down the road..........but right now I am hurt. SO HURT that she had done this.
Sorry for how horribly I rambled and how unorganized this is.
I shared on here about a year and a half ago that my sister was going through a rough spot in her marriage and headed towards a D. That I was sure that her H at the time had an affair. He was married 2.5 months after their D was final. My sis does have emotional issues, I believe she has suffered with depression for years. I believe she has taken something off and on but not seeing a doctor so I don't believe she is really on anything consistently. I have been one of her biggest supporters through her D and have helped her through some rough dark times. She always said she never wanted a D but could not stand the person that her H was.
Zoom to this past Sunday. I get a weird text from my sis, so I call her. (our family worries about her being suicidal). She was sobbing and hard to understand on the phone. She had a fight with her son and was upset because "she was going to end up alone just like her EX said she would." Then she let it slip that she was just as bad as her EX because she had been having an affair for a year and a half!!!! OMG! WHAT????? She said she hated herself and couldn't stand the pain anymore. that the only reason she was still here was because she didn't want to embarrass our Dad. (by committing suicide). WE talked for quite a while longer. She calmed down enough and both her boys were at the house. So we agreed to chat the next day. During this phone call, I had asked her about the cheater man and asked her if she was going to stop. She said that on Friday she had already told him she couldn't see him anymore. And that she didn't have a way of getting in touch with him. He reached out to her when he could.
I don't believe her that she is not going to see him. I am angry, upset and feel betrayed. Of all the people in the world, someone that knew how painful an affair is how could my sister do this?
So I need help navigating this. I refuse to stay silent. I missed a call from my sis on Monday and since then she has not been reachable. I want her to be emotionally healthy and don't want to send her over the edge. I have been thinking a lot and have had sleepless night since I found out. I have been on her facebook page reading her posts and seeing what guys pay attention to her. I go on their facebook page and see what she pays attention to. THEN I remembered over the summer an incredibly weird message she sent me AND some random guy that I had never heard her mention. It was a sticker of the Snoopy dog holding a heart. She texted me the next morning and said it was an accident and she had been drinking. CLICK. CONNECT THE DOTS. This has to be the guy. I am 99.9% sure of it, that I know who he is. And he IS married.
So help me. I love my sister more than anything. She has been my best friend and I hers. I do want to talk to her first and have a real conversation about her stopping the affair. But I am not going to let on that I know who it is yet. She is not the person I once knew and I can never have that same relationship with her. Maybe one day down the road..........but right now I am hurt. SO HURT that she had done this.
Sorry for how horribly I rambled and how unorganized this is.