4 years ago on Boxing day and three months after I had given brith to twins I found out that my husband had had 3 affairs through his work. The following year was intense, we came to this site, used a lot of the principles and tried to rebuild our marriage. Things seemed to be getting better and I even trusted him again for the most part but I always felt and told him that I didn't think he had really addressed the core issues that had led to the infidelity in the first place which left us vulnerable for a repeat. Well two months ago I discovered that my husband has hand an additional 2 affairs, again through his work. We have 4 young kids (8, 6 and twins 4) and I am again totally shattered. I really do not know what to do. I have no one I can talk to and I feel so completely broken. In my heart of hearts I don't want to divorce but I really cannot see myself going thorough this again and agin and again.

I'm so sorry to see you back here and with even more infidelity to deal with. This is heartbreaking.

What was your previous posting name?

There is a lot more to say about this, but first is to clarify that the identification of the "core issues" that led to the infidelities is pointless. If he could ever identify those issues, that alone would not stop him from doing the same thing again and again.

The only thing that could have stopped a repeat, once you found out about the first three affairs, would have been for you as a couple to have changed your marriage so that it was not possible for your husband any longer to meet women through his work. I don't know what line of work he is in, but I think this forum would have explained that problem to you when you were last here - which is why I would like to see your previous thread.

I never posted before on this forum before. We found Marriage Builders through youtube and worked through much of the material. However it seems the work was incomplete as the marriage wasn't transformed. My husband works in banking and finance so people are an everyday part of his job.

Please tell us about what you discovered each time. How did you learn about the first 3 affairs? Did you believe that things had changed after that?

How did you learn about the recent two, and what are the details of those affairs? What do you know about the women involved? Does your husband work with them, or at a distance (e.g. in a different location)? Does he supervise them, or vice versa?

What has been his attitude since this recent discovery? Does he appear to be sorry for what he did? Does he seem to want to stay married? Has anything changed since discovery, or does he go to work with these women, as normal?

Have you told anyone about these affairs - either the first set, or the second?

Dr Harleys general advice is for serial cheats to give up their job. If your husband is one, it is an addiction and he will cheat unless he works from home or works with you.

Whether you choose to try recovery or divorce, exposure is always advised so that betrayed spouses get the support of their loved ones. Someone who has had the type of trauma you've had should not be in a position of having 'no one to talk to'.

Did you ever see the advice to tell people? Is your husband remorseful enough to face that or has he insisted things stay secret?

I know these things sound scary but sweeping and decisive changes are required to tackle adultery.

Read this and listen to the radio clips. Serial Cheaters