Am I wrong? - 06/02/18 05:33 PM
I need someone else thoughts on this. Maybe I did overreact and I shouldn't still be upset.
My husband cheated on me in 2015. A little over a year later we were taking about different fantasies when we were intimate. I can't remember exactly what was said, but I mentioned something about it would be a turn on to actually see him with another woman. He was talking dirty and it turned to that and honestly I knew it would turn him on and I just wanted the sex to be done with, I was tired. I was lying, but just trying to get it over with. The only time I had ever lied during sex. I even refuse to fake it. So, he took whatever I said and ran with it. A few weeks/months later he told me he had been checking out craigslist again and was looking for another woman for a threesome. I got mad at him and we argued. He didn't then and still doesn't understand why I'm mad at him and so upset about that. He sees it as perfectly fine because I "wanted it". I never told him that I wanted him to place an ad for a threesome! Two years later and he still doesn't see anything wrong with placing an ad.
I was wrong in saying it would turn me on. I never should have lied. Am I wrong in being mad at him over placing an ad? He just cannot see why that angered me, stills angers me, and I feel hurt about it and count it as cheating. He doesn't see anything wrong with it. Am I wrong? Is he in the wrong? How can I make him understand that it was wrong and I have every right to feel angry and betrayed over it? Or don't I?
A fantasy is just that - a fantasy. People don't usually act on them. I have many fantasies, but I'd never actually act on any of them, especially without fully discussing it first!
My husband cheated on me in 2015. A little over a year later we were taking about different fantasies when we were intimate. I can't remember exactly what was said, but I mentioned something about it would be a turn on to actually see him with another woman. He was talking dirty and it turned to that and honestly I knew it would turn him on and I just wanted the sex to be done with, I was tired. I was lying, but just trying to get it over with. The only time I had ever lied during sex. I even refuse to fake it. So, he took whatever I said and ran with it. A few weeks/months later he told me he had been checking out craigslist again and was looking for another woman for a threesome. I got mad at him and we argued. He didn't then and still doesn't understand why I'm mad at him and so upset about that. He sees it as perfectly fine because I "wanted it". I never told him that I wanted him to place an ad for a threesome! Two years later and he still doesn't see anything wrong with placing an ad.
I was wrong in saying it would turn me on. I never should have lied. Am I wrong in being mad at him over placing an ad? He just cannot see why that angered me, stills angers me, and I feel hurt about it and count it as cheating. He doesn't see anything wrong with it. Am I wrong? Is he in the wrong? How can I make him understand that it was wrong and I have every right to feel angry and betrayed over it? Or don't I?
A fantasy is just that - a fantasy. People don't usually act on them. I have many fantasies, but I'd never actually act on any of them, especially without fully discussing it first!