I am new to this site and forums. I found phone records of my H. He has been talking to OW for quite some time. I asked him and he said it was nothing they just talk. This talk is all day off and on when he is at work. I tried to tell him how it made me feel. We have had problems in our marriage for the last 5 years. He would not go into detail about anything they talked about. He said that he told me
nothing was going on and I should accept that and let it go.
He said he would not talk to her anymore, he didn't realize it would make me feel that bad. This has been three months ago. One other time I brought it up he just gets angry for me doing so. But we were suppose to talk about things that bother us. I was trying. Last week Wed. morning he was home when he would normally already be gone for work and his phone rang. He was in the shower. I looked and it was her. I did not know what to say. I laid it in front of him and left for work. He called all angry at me for getting all mad
and said he was moving out. He has threatened to move out before and left one time for two nights about two yrs ago.
We have not talked till today. He calls and said if I am going to continue acting like this (sleeping in other room) that he is done. He again told me that there was nothing more he could say about it. There was nothing there. And I just keep bringing it up. I tried to tell him that his avoiding talking about it in a civilized manner makes it worse. When I got home and tried to talk to him again he wanted nothing to do with me, said he was through talking and done with it. There is so much to this and I know I am being vague. Just need to get it off my chest. I really do not have anyone to talk to about it and thought if I put it out here it might help somehow.

Well my husband has the gift of gab, specially when it comes to women. Usually I have no problem with this. If it is possible, maybe try to spend time with both of them.

I disagree. If something is being done in a realtionship that is hurting one person or the other, then the one doing the hurting needs to step back and get their priorities straight! Hiding, being dishonest and defensive, to me, are signs that there is SOMETHING TO HIDE. When a young child isn't doing anything wrong in their mind, they don't hide it or lie about it. Same thing goes for us adults. When we feel guilty, we try to make sure nobody else finds out, and when they do, how many of us have become defensive or confrontational to try to switch the focus? I am certainly guilty of it. There have been things in my marriage that have been completely innocent in my eyes, but have been hurtful or uncomfortable to my husband. Here is where that nifty little deal called compromise comes in. I don't do the things that hurt him even if I don't understand why they do, and he pays me the same respect. I would come uncorked if he were talking to another woman on a consistent basis and hiding it from me. Throw a couple lies and his being defensive about being confronted, and I am threw the roof. If it's really nothing, then it shouldn't be a big deal to walk away from.

tlr,

I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation,

Your H sounds like he's having an affair. I found similar evidence in Mar 06, H said they were "just friends" Just friends don't have to hide their relatioships. Please post on GQII; you have a long haul in front of you, but it can work.

Has your H ever said something like "I love you, but not in love with you anymore." He's threatened to leave and trying to make it your fault...typical behavior of someone who's trying to justify affair.

My prayers are with you, please listen to the veterans on this site.