Teen in "fog" - 05/12/10 09:57 PM
Warning....big rant whining coming!
Our Son started dating a girl that lives 3 hours away. They talked on the phone and IM's. Every few months they would see each other. We figured this wouldn't last long. Here we are 1.5 years later and we are at our whits end. Reading here about WS and their fog I am shocked at how similar a teenager in a toxic relationship acts like a WS.
This girl is 1.5 years older than our son. She is already 18 and a Sr. in HS. Our son will be 17 in July and he is a Jr. in HS. Over time we noticed she was very needy. She claims she is just sensitive. Now we see her as manipulative and very passive aggressive. She is an only child. She had claimed her dad was very mean. There is always a crisis with her. She is also a drama queen. Over the past few months the phone conversations have gotten longer. He even used all our cell minutes for the month in a span of 7 days. It has gotten so bad our son's social life is non existent. He goes to school, comes home and tends to his garden while waiting to talk to her. Well the poop hit the fan last night. (side note, we are christian and we have talked to our kids about waiting until they get married. We know that may not happen we just try to teach them about their faith and hope they make the right choices.) Last night our son was on the computer again. My husband told him he needed to use the computer. Our son opened a new window but didn't shut his window. After DH was done he shut his window and saw a IM between the 2 of them. She said "My boobs hurt" he said "I can rub them for you." and she put a smile face. Poor DH was shocked. DH shut the window, disabled the internet and told me what he saw. It was bedtime so we decided I should e-mail her mom asking her to call me. Then we would talk to our son today. I talked to her mom this AM. We agreed they need to talk less and and we would talk about the IM and their physical and emotional relationship. We also agreed to tell them around the same time so one won't call the other warning them. She suggested 8pm tonight. Well apparently she couldn't wait. I went on yahoo to IM with DH and my son was still logged in. She had IM'd him at 11am saying she was so very sorry. We all have FB accounts (yes I got it to watch our kids) and my son not knowing anything posted on her page. One of her friends posted "wouldnt say she had the best of days". That means she has already told all her friends. To say I am upset with her and her mother would be an understatement. I am mulling over what I am going to say in the e-mail I send her mom. I thought letting her know what is going on with our kids was the right thing to do. Now I wish I didn't say anything and just talked to our son.
Our Son started dating a girl that lives 3 hours away. They talked on the phone and IM's. Every few months they would see each other. We figured this wouldn't last long. Here we are 1.5 years later and we are at our whits end. Reading here about WS and their fog I am shocked at how similar a teenager in a toxic relationship acts like a WS.
This girl is 1.5 years older than our son. She is already 18 and a Sr. in HS. Our son will be 17 in July and he is a Jr. in HS. Over time we noticed she was very needy. She claims she is just sensitive. Now we see her as manipulative and very passive aggressive. She is an only child. She had claimed her dad was very mean. There is always a crisis with her. She is also a drama queen. Over the past few months the phone conversations have gotten longer. He even used all our cell minutes for the month in a span of 7 days. It has gotten so bad our son's social life is non existent. He goes to school, comes home and tends to his garden while waiting to talk to her. Well the poop hit the fan last night. (side note, we are christian and we have talked to our kids about waiting until they get married. We know that may not happen we just try to teach them about their faith and hope they make the right choices.) Last night our son was on the computer again. My husband told him he needed to use the computer. Our son opened a new window but didn't shut his window. After DH was done he shut his window and saw a IM between the 2 of them. She said "My boobs hurt" he said "I can rub them for you." and she put a smile face. Poor DH was shocked. DH shut the window, disabled the internet and told me what he saw. It was bedtime so we decided I should e-mail her mom asking her to call me. Then we would talk to our son today. I talked to her mom this AM. We agreed they need to talk less and and we would talk about the IM and their physical and emotional relationship. We also agreed to tell them around the same time so one won't call the other warning them. She suggested 8pm tonight. Well apparently she couldn't wait. I went on yahoo to IM with DH and my son was still logged in. She had IM'd him at 11am saying she was so very sorry. We all have FB accounts (yes I got it to watch our kids) and my son not knowing anything posted on her page. One of her friends posted "wouldnt say she had the best of days". That means she has already told all her friends. To say I am upset with her and her mother would be an understatement. I am mulling over what I am going to say in the e-mail I send her mom. I thought letting her know what is going on with our kids was the right thing to do. Now I wish I didn't say anything and just talked to our son.