Scotlands thread over on the "surviving an affair" forum was being T/j by all of our funny kids stories (read them they are all hysterical) so I started this thread for everyone to add their stories...I love them so much....
Just to add to the "boys" conversation. My three sons are a definite mess....and I forgot to add Scotty that the reason my A/C broke was because earlier today I had to wash one of my cushions off my couch. I told my DS10, "Here, take this cushion out in the sunshine to dry, but make sure it's off the ground so it won't get dirty." Well, I think you know the rest....yes, he put it on top of the A/C unit...LOL
It burned up some little part in there that works the compressor. That was $126 and then the same DS was packed with 20 outfits for camp and guess how much he came back with? Zero. Yes, my son left all his clothes at camp. He came back with a swim suit, a pair of dr. pepper pj bottoms, and his toiletries. I told him that he has cost me over $200 in just a few days. After getting steaming mad....I had to laugh.
I'm gonna quote some over to here. More later
Yeah, that one is hysterical...I actually told the couch cushion one to my DS9 and HE was laughing hysterically...so even kids like that one...
I grew up with my twin brother and my aunt's six boys who lived less than a mile away (and was a willing participant in all the fun) so I was ready for the whole tree climbing-grass stained-jump off the roof- band-aids and stitches-life of a mother of boys.
As a matter-of-fact, I was the coolest mom in my OS's 2nd grade class because *I* had taught him how to do armpit farts.
Oh, the joys of raising boys.
When I was around 10, I convinced the neibors kid to go on an adventure climbing thru a culvert in front of his house. We put on a rope so we could be like cave climbers and spent six hours going around 30 ft in the tightest old stonewall culvert ever made, untill we came to a section that was regular round drainage pipe.
It was like we discovered the bat-cave.
We got in big trouble when we heard them calling us and we had to answer them. They allmost called the fire dept. Lol.
Then there was hanging upside down under the railroad bridge over the top of the diesels. I was the only idiot to do that, along with walk on top of the waterfalls with my boots just barely getting traction.
My poor Mom
By the time i was 17 I counted 165 stiches I had recieved in varuous acts of stupidity. The largest group was from the corrective surgery on my right leg after almost getting it chopped off by a racing snowmobile bogey wheels.(35 stitches) The rest were from 5-10 stitch deals. lol
I used to get a nail in my foot weekly in my "CP, Go clean that lumber" ritual practiced by me and my Dad. Soaking my feet in salt hot water was ussually the cure for that.
I was the neighborhood Go-cart builder and the other mothers would hate me. We were the only family rich enough to have spare lumber,(thanks Dad),and axle material so when the lawnmower wheels would go missing, you know where they went.
The hill we rode them down was awesome. All the other kids in school thought I was nuts. I guess I was just a boy with something to prove. Fearless or brainless, I guess it was a combo.
OH I AM SPLITTING A GUT. ARMPIT FARTS. I don't think they have learned how to do those yet. Maybe I should learn first HEHEHEHEHE.
Boys are really a different kind of animal. How many times have I been sitting quietly watching TV when I hear, SMASH, "OOPS." Then I say, "No throwing balls in the house, that rule has not expired and has been the same since before you were born."
every day I say to myself, "I'm raising men, I'm raising men." It keeps me sane knowing that I just don't understand some of what they do since they ARE different because they are boys. I don't understand how they can spend ALL DAY playing video games. Why they feel the need to make everything a gun and why they always have to chase bad guys. It's really fun to watch when they are playing. When they are fighting, they are MEAN. Girls use words and hurt feelings. Boys want BLOOD.
They are currently in their room building lego ships have a GIANT WAR before bed. Yea, lego all over the floor. HAHAHAHAHA
Since my youngest DS is special needs and in a wheelchair and my oldest is 9 years older, my DD is absolutely puzzled by OC when he visits. OC is 5 and a boy. I keep telling her boys are just "weird" to girls. They are different. I so treasure my memories of my oldest making guns out of legos or whatever else he could get his hands on.
Yesterday, OC used the handrail at church (no it doesn't move) as a weapon! No kidding they are different! I EMBRACE the difference because they will one day be men. My oldest is nearly 27. He is such a lovely young man now.
OMG HopeE, I actually LOL'd on the clothes items. I guess that is the essential for the boys wardrobe, a swimsuit and a pair of pj bottoms. I have to MAKE my kids change their clothes. Even after a shower. And then, I have to MAKE them wear underwear. they love running around a naked. Another male trait I think. HEHEHEHEHE Moms of just girls don't understand. I have been told that it gets easier with boys and that girls become a NIGHTMARE during the teenaged years for moms. That's when girls rebel and pull away. they always come back though.
I have wonderful kiddos, they just drive me nutty. Tonight, they are sleeping on the couches. It is so they can play video games at the crack of dawn. What funny children. I will probably be sleeping before they are. HAHAHAHAHA
Scotty,
I totally get the no underwear thing. I took DS10 and DS11 school clothes shopping today. We went into department store to get some pants. The sales lady was standing right there with me when I reached down to look at label in DS10's pants he had on. Imagine my embarassment when I pulled them back to reveal a little baby butt crack:)
I couldn't believe it, but hey, he left all his clothes at camp including the underwear....
When my OS (who was also the ER king in our house for his first 12 years) went to camp with his best friend, they smelled soooo bad when their dads picked them up-the men made the boys sit in the very last seat of the SUV. (We moms did the drop off...clever planning dontcha think?
)
When I opened his bag, I found most of his clothes still folded and all but two pair of socks still matched and "clean". I asked if he changed his socks or showered the whole week. "We swam every day." was the answer.
OMG...Hope your kids are hysterical...and the couch cushion thing...OMG, Mwahahahahah!!!
And the naked thing...almost every night when I tuck DS in bed I get the "Look mama, my peepee is nocturnal!"...Im like yes yes thats just great son...
And to add to that, I am rather well endowed in the chest area..and no matter how much I speak to him about it or how much I tell him how inappropriate it is...DS occasionally feel the need to "honk" them like a horn...Now I walk around with padded bras, which I dont need...just for the added "protection"...little boys obsessed with "boobies"...I am in so much trouble with this kid.
I am laffin so hard that I can barely see the screen. My sides hurt. OMG. You guys are great. LOVE BOYS. I am gonna miss them when they move out, although, DS7 says he is going to live with me FOREVER. SHUDDER. I better get that kid married off as soon as he is 18 HAHAHAHAHA J/K. My friend's 4YO D has said she is going to marry my DS7. He came to me and said, "Mommy, FDD4 said she is going to marry me." When we went to the movies, FDD4 and DS7 went to see Toys Story 3 with friend's husband, we were watching Eclipse. Friend's husband texts friend and says, "I feel like I am a chaperone for their first date." They came out of the movie and DS7 said that she put her hand on his knee. I told him that wasn't appropriate they are too young for that. OH NOOOOOO. I think I need to worry.
Still, HONK HONK. Priceless. I am DYING over here guys, THANX
Yes Boys are definitely different...They definitely are missing that shame chromosone(sp) when it comes to wearing any clothes!!!
I remember my DH (now WH) going out to get the mail at the end of our driveway with only his boxer briefs and sneakers on...I said "you cant go out like that" he replied "These are just like shorts no one will even notice"....Next thing I hear is a horn beeping and someone yelling out "NICE UNDERWEAR, DUDE!"
Lol I laid out in the sun once,(years ago), in my black bikini briefs cuz I thought nobody would know they were underwear. Well they did ..
My DS19 walks into the front yard with his boxer briefs a lot. Must be that chromozone
Speaking of little boy stories, my oldest son was ADD before they added the H to that diagnosis. We have some great stories about him growing up. One my favorites is from his first day at school. I was so worried about him doing well because he was, shall we say, a little rambuctious (sp?).
He came home that afternoon and I asked him (fearfully) how his 1st day of school went and did he mind the teacher.
He said, "Oh yes, mommy, I love school and I minded the teacher."
I let out a sigh of relief.
Then he said, "Everytime she told me to stand in the corner I did!"
Oh he was always surprising us (he hates! these stories now, lol).
Another one was once when his dad and I were arguing in the morning. I said, "Your attitude really stinks!"
Apparently I said it loud enough for the kids to overhear because that night after all 4 kids were down for the night, my DH and started having another disagreement and suddenly my 7 year old son pipes up from the other room in a sing-song voice, "I smell an attitude!!!"
I LOVE the things kids say....Just today with my DS and my mother...My moms friend was supposed to go out to lunch with us and for the second week in a row she cancelled....Well when we left the restaurant my DS said to my mother "Well nana, it looks like your imaginary friend didnt show up for lunch again today."....hahahah, me and my mom were dying laughing...
Then we went to the rock store after (DS loves rocks) and DS accidentally dropped a rock on the floor, my mom was standing next to him looking at something else.....and when it dropped my DS immediately shouted "NANA YOU SHOULD BE MORE CAREFUL!"...My mother was laughing and said "What do you mean 'NANA' should be more careful?" and DS replied "I couldnt blame mama, she was all the way over there"....We were all laughing all the way home....I love that kid.
My Grand-daughter just finished being potty-trained. I watch her two days a week while my DD works.
She used to want to be left alone when she had to poop,(in her diaper), and would go to her room or tell you to go away when she went.
Well one day I had her at my house. She wanted to play in the kitchen doing whatever she wanted, touching the wrong stuff, basiccally getting into trouble.
At one point she was getting frustrated that Grampa was stopping her from just about everything she wanted to do, I swear I saw a little light bulb go off in her head when she said, "Yes Grampa, I have to poop" as she assumed the pose by grabbing the countertop and leaning over and motioned I should leave the room.
I went along because I know she was embarrassed about it and I couldn't be sure, but I returned often and she was faking. I let it pass for the moment.
When she started to reach for something wrong again a little later she stopped, looked at me, and said she had to poop again. I told her "No, you don't, if you want to poop, it will have to be in the other room, you can't poop in here.
So She says, "But Grampa, I LIKE to poop"
She never did poop that afternoon either. lol
Thank you, CP, for taking your time to transfer the stories...
When My DD was a toddler, she had a Teddy Ruxpin. For those who don't remember those they were a little teddy bear doll that you put special cassette tapes in and he told a story, waving his arms, moving his lips and gesturing with his head as he told a story.
One night my wife had put a tape from her pastor in my daughters Teddy Ruxpin and was listening to it in her own room when she went to sleep.
The next morning my daughter came crawling down the stairs and with a Questioning and somewhat puzzled frustrated voice asks, "Mommy, whats Pastor doing in my Teddy Ruxpin?!" She had gotten it from Moms room and His voice was booming out of it, dragging it behind her, and she knew who Pastor was.
I copied a bunch of stories here. When I can remember some really funny ones I will share them. I hope we all do.
Thank you, CP, for taking your time to transfer the stories...
My pleasure, it was easy, what hard is remembering all the funny stories, but I admit they are cheering me up, as well as all the other ones shared.
Many really should be submitted somehwere.
Here is one that comes from taking care of Emotionally troubled kids, The boy in question was 17 at the time, but he acted like a two year old, because of his problems. He was a great kid, good natured as anyone.
The caretaker that worked the shift before us told us this story. The boy came to her in the morning with a frustrated look on his face but laughed an said, "look -----, my peehole is upside down, haha".
It reminded me of the nocturnal thing..
Yes..yes...thats just great son..
Most of my stories highlight what a nerdy family we are...
When my son was around 4, he was known to be a very heavy sleeper. You could ask him a question and he would answer in his sleep. So one day my DH went into his room to wake him up. DS was out like a light. DH reach under the cover to tickle DS's rib. DS shot up into a sitting position, turned to look at DH, and shouted:
"E=mc squared!!"
Then he laid down, pulled up the covers, and went back to sleep.
I would like to make fun of him (and often do), but then I remember how my own brother and I used to read t5he dictionary for fun. We LOVED the bubonic plague because the dictionary said that the "buboes" first appear in the armpit.
And I wonder why I wasn't homecoming queen....
Around 1998, We were heading to a friends house, while in the car my children, DD14, DSs around 11 and 8 were bugging me to put on the rock station, (Mostly the older two, they were the more social ones).
Well I was not sure if they should be listening to hard rock much, if at all, they were pretty young, and its full of exampls of human condition with complaints that sound like wisdom, but mostly are identification with no answers. I also knew they had to deal with the real world and heard it when I wasn't around, so I tried to plant a seed in thier heads that music could draw you in, and not to take it to seriuosly.
I stopped the car, turned off the radio, and said to them.
"I am responsible for what I allow my children to listen to, and how those words mixed with emotions effect you. I will let you listen to this station if you can give me what in my opinion is a true definition of what music is"
I was expecting to open a conversation about truth, sympathy, indentification, negative and positive emotion, social connection through those things....
My 8 year old, in a most matter of fact tone of voice, in almost a dissapointed drone of an answer said,
"Dad, music is an instrumental expression of the soul"
I shut up and turned on the radio.
OMG...Mwahahahaha..These are the best...I LOVE this thread. Mwhahahahahah.
Ohhhh I thought of one....This is from when I was young...a friend of mines brother used to torture her. You know, like most normal brothers do...
Well the heat used to make a lot of noises...esp at night, it used to freak my friend out...her brother used to tell her it was the little men working on the house in the middle of the night...She said "No, there is no such thing as little men". Well one night her brother put little toy tools around her room and he showed them to her and said "See the little men were working in your room last night, there are there little tools."
Hahahahahaha...My friend and I were sooooo freaked out, I even had nightmares about the "little men" working in my room at night. Stupid brothers. And I didnt even have a brother.
Guess, what I got one from today..Its just a little funnie from my cutie...
We went to eat lunch in a cafeteria at the aquarium and DS took a little packet of salt for his fries...He looked at the writing on it and said "why would anyone want to use idiotized salt?"....hahahahahahahaha, it said "iodized salt", hahahahahaha.
Okay, I thought it was funny. (I almost said to DS, maybe thats the kind your father uses...buuuttt I bit my tongue
)
Well, if there is idiotized salt, that would explain some of the people I have encountered in life!
Okay, you just have to know how usually quiet my son is, and how dry his humor can be. A while back we were riding in the car, and I made some remark about Justin Bieber. DS said, "She's so annoying."
I was kind of surprised at his mistake, and I said, "Justin Bieber is a boy."
He just looked at me blandly and replied, "So say YOU."
bwahahahahahaha! I'm not a big Beiber fan.
Ok this one is about my DD when she was 16.
She had been occasionally bugging us to allow her to get her belly-button peirced since she was 12 and ehr freind had a sister who had done it. Of course i said no at twelve, but by 16 other peer pressure and the need to pick my battles made me begrudgingly give in.
A parent or gaurdian had to accompany her because she was a minor. We went to the peircing joint and heard the spiel, and the girl asked me if I had any questions.
" I have just one, can i have the pleasure of shoving that needle through"?
I was the only one who laughed of course. And I must say that it greatly improved her maturity. J/K
We had two boys, and they drove my wife nuts with listening to her. Although we would try to avoid spanking, after some warning my wife would bring out the wooden spoon as a last resort. When she couldn't find one it was sometimes a ladle.
It was surprising finding all the spoons and ladles on the garage roof one day as they mYsteriously disapeared slowly from the house.
When my DD was 5 and a DS was 2 1/2, my wife was playing patient. son was doctor, and DD was nurse.
DD told my wife she had to have a shot. My wife played wimpering and scared and said" OH Nooo, Will it hurt Doctor?"
He responded with a "Yup. it will hurt a lot", with as seriuos of a tone that he had.
Hahahahah...this is my favorite thread...thanks for sharing Luri and CP...and keep sharing, I LOVE these.
Same son, 5 years old,
He had developed a friendship with a niehbors daughter, 6 years old, who went to school.
Well he had heard that 7-8 year olds were picking on her at school.
One day my wife walked down to pick up the girl with the nieghbor and took him with her. When they got there he asked the girl which kids were mean to her and went up to 5 kids and threatened them to leave her alone, pulling up his sleeves like the little rascals.
We of course told him that is not the way to handle that but inside I was a little proud of his attitude.
This is not a kiddie story really, but it was one of the things my youngest son said that amazed me.
Him and I were homeless at one time when our family had broken up. We were riding in a car and someone commented on how hard it must be for both of us. You can imagine my heartbreak and concern for all of them and he was only 14 at the time.
The comment was made that we would be OK and God puts his people into the fire to strengthen them. He was well aware of this premise.
He said," I look at it as being boiled clean really, the fabric is being cleaned. It is not as if we were being bleached as that is the quick way, but destroys the fabric at the expense. We wern't looking for a quick fix to cover up the problem, we want the fabric whole and strong in the end".
Out of the mouths of babes.
Also, when I had apoligized for letting things get this bad, and was worried about how this would effect his life, he said,
"I look at it like being bit by a snake, and now i will have immunity to it"
We must have done something right
Those were wonderful stories...and they make it obvious that you are definitely doing something right...
My Granddaugter is a princess.
At the store today i was putting her back in the cart so I could push her around the store. She argued with me she wanted to walk and was standing in the seat.
All of a sudden, she sat down quietly. I though it was my determination and patience along with my winning personality and special connection that had won the battle.
It was quikly revealed that a young women to the side was looking at her, and she was embarrassed becuse she knew she should listen to Grampa. She smiled and acted so sweet to the women, what a Ham.
Shes a little ham all right...but a smart one. heehee
Those were wonderful stories...and they make it obvious that you are definitely doing something right...
TY for that. It has been my greatest concern that my children do not inherit the issues both my wife and I had gotten from the hands life had dealt us, and to be fair it was her greatest fear that she would turn out to fail them and be like her mother. Shame on those that used her fear against her.
Ok this is a lite thread, back to remembering fun stuff.
Well from your stories it sounds like you both have succeeded...it is very difficult to raise children, didnt really now how difficult until I had my DS...
One day the boys had some freinds overnight. I went into the room and said Hi to them when I came home and to let them know they were welcome and to express positive and active authority when i said they had to go to sleep.
They were 7, 2 10s and one 11 year olds.
One of the boys had really bad foot odor, I mean it knocked you socks off. I told them all,(even though I knew the kid responsible), that the shoes go out on the porch, and they all go in and wash thier feet.
Well they giggled the whole time, probably at my reaction to the smell.
Omg...that is hysterical...I dont know what I would have done...but you reacted well to tell them to wash their feet...hahahahahaha...the boys prolly didnt even care that the kids feet stank, they prolly thought it was funny...hahahahahah...ahhhhh boys are disgusting. heehee
Well from your stories it sounds like you both have succeeded...it is very difficult to raise children, didnt really now how difficult until I had my DS...
I have to give credit to God, that all I am is responsible to teach them they had a higher power that they would eventually go to when they realized i was only as smart as I knew i wasn't, and they needed Him as thier father more than I. I only took care of them for Him, and I answered to Him.
"I Also want to thank the academy... "
I am drawing a blank, more when I remember them. Lets bump this thread, nobody seems to follow things unless its at the top of new posts.
(psst how do you bump it?)
You are funny CP...Mwhahahaha...it automatically gets bumped to the top when you make a post...Ahhhhh, now we have a funny CP story...MWhahahahahaha
Okay, sorry....
I think if it was over on the SAA forum it would be read more...but the mods dont likey when we do dat....
Yeah but with that bump maybe ppl will read it. Im not as dumb as I look.
Slow tonight, seeya tommorow, I will ask my kids for funny stuff to post.
Now THAT is funny, Im allready famous for my long drawn out posts that sometimes spin in circles and don't seem to come to a point. Now your saying your sorry that I am silly?
I am so seriuos my kids call me heavy when I talk to them, hearing that makes me feel more normal.
I dont know if I am a good gauge for normalcy..
That might make you less normal than you think...
Or were you saying that your kids make you feel normal..
I am so confused tonite...
Okay...Ill go to bed now.
Or were you saying that your kids make you feel normal..
I am so confused tonite...
No, you saying that you thought I was silly and rattling my cage cuz I made a boo boo made me feel normal cuz you picked on me. Also that you called it a "CP story". Like I belonged here as part of the MB family.
Now that you have found out my secret, that i am insecure about being here. Are you happy now?
.
Please refrain from the "AWW CP we all love you" crap.
I deserve to feel a little bit insecure, I talk a lot and stick my opinion out a lot, believe me I can take it and trust the 2x4s I might recieve.
i want to do my best "AW shucks" impression now, (picture Goofy).
And saying your sorry for it was funny cuz it made me feel good.
Unfortunaty CP you fit in all to well here, truly...we are a weird bunch...
Yeah im saying your weird too....but in a good way...
Okay...Ill go to bed now.
Okay, I lied.
Okay...Ill go to bed now.
Okay, I lied.
I can't sleep either. gonna go watch ngeo or some science channel about how the earth was made. yeah, thats practical knowledge
Ugggh, My 9 year old loves those shows....cmon is that a guy thing to...I am bored to tears watching that stuff...
Well, you should both feel really good....
Because I think you are both weird....and I know weird.
I don't want to feel normal...normies are boring.
Yeah, thats why I love you guys here...you bunch of weirdos....
19 year old reminded me of when he was 6-7 and he was up in our bedroom fooling around with his sister and his Mom.
He said " Hey Mom, take off your shirt so we can wrestle!"
My now 24 year old boy used to have that "Hand down his mommys blouse" thing when he was young too.
She would have guests over and he would do it. She would just laugh but then you would see her roll her eyes
When i was probbaly 10 I was chubby. One day when I was being a brat and wanted something special to eat I got Mad and told my Mom. " I am going to die from malnutrion"
Mom just lost it.
One time my 11 year old son wanted to go to six flags and ride the superman coaster. He was adamant he would not be scared and would do it.
Well he had "Nerves of steel" when we went on it. The older son,my DD, and I were nervous and it showed. He was seriuos and had a straight and determined face.
After it was over he got out and remained calm, seemed it didn't scare him at all.
Halfway to the next ride he said "I don't want to ride this one", still remaining stern in his demeanor. Then he sat down on the bench for 10 minutes.
Took two hours to get him to ride on another and he never admitted he was shook up.
I have been reading and haven't been able to think.
The first is more a horror story, which some will be familiar with: Apr7 last year DSthen3 ran a bath for his babies (2 ball pit balls) I wasn't aware and hour and 45 mins later bath still running.
He's not far off 5 now and currently the insurance company are thinking of suing the contractors - we still don't have a floor - in some areas it's a trampoline like sprung floor and in others - small steps and hillocks covered with MOD issue carpet as a "temp" measure. The floor was repaired last Oct as soon as drying cert issued- came up again in Dec.
The 2nd horror story: DS over heard a convo with a friend who had a dink in his car wing - said friend left the car at ours overnight because he and his wife had come for a few beers. IN the morning DS decided to do the kind thing and fix the car with
a biro - a pirate biro (not that that is significant)
Not only did he fix the dent, but several other spots all over the car
.....I wonder where he gets it from??
my tip for the day (discovered this morning):
If you want a foam party just add a dash of washing up liquid to the washing machine
![[Linked Image from cool-smileys.com]](http://www.cool-smileys.com/images/143.gif)
Took me hours to get rid of all the bubbles all over the kitchen (running out of wsahing powder and just wanted to do the dog blanket quickly)
lol We have to use Dish Liquid too sometimes, and
The guy who fixed our Kitchen floor would.t listen to me, I had done water damage B4.
It has nails heads stickin up and a large hole in the middle.
He is the maint guy for landlord> His fix that idea. put in pergo.
Oh oh I have one to add to the list.
DD is nearly 9 months old. This Monday she started at a new In Home Daycare. One of the other little boys is about 18 months old and is the son of DHs boss. The first time we took DD to the Daycare he just stopped and stared at her, touching her softly and playing with her car seat. Both the boy's mother and the Day Care provider stated that this was remarkable, because this boy just doesn't notice other babies, they just don't exist to him.
Couple of days later, I'm picking up DD and putting her in her carseat. The little boy comes and sits right in my lap and starts staring at DD. He leans over and plants a big kiss right on her mouth. She looks at me, very disturbed. So he leans in and kisses her one more time. She, again, looks at me and bursts into tears. The little boy just sits there, looking at her, confused.
It was so darn funny. I laughed and told DD to just keep that attitude for the next 20-30 years.
Poor girl.... her first kiss from a boy.
Thanks for this thread! I really needed this laugh!
My dd was 2 years old and we were takeing her to see "Roger Rabbit at the drive in.
We had been talking to her about all day, and she was excited.
When the movie started she started saying "hi roger" and she did it a couple of times, then she started crying.
She was sad cuz Roger didn't answer her. She thiught she was seeing him in person.
Love these..I read them everyday and laugh..and say "awwwww".
Speaking of smelly feet. My sis and I kinda lived sheltered lives as preachers kids. One summer when I was 9 and my sis was 8, we went to kids camp that was held at an old college. We bunked down in the dorms, the boys in one building and the girls in another.
We had a blast and when we got home we excitedly told our parents all about the cool "feet washers" they had in the dorm bathrooms. All the girls were using them and we "got to wash our feet everyday without taking a bath!". What a cool invention!
We could not understand why our parents were falling out on the bed, tears coming from their eyes, and unable to speak because they were laughing so hard.
It seems like our dorm had been a men's dorm in its previous life and those "feet washers" were actually urinals.
And more to the sheltered PKs...
This was a very serious situation with a little comic relief mixed in.
My sis and I walked to the convenience store pretty often. It was a safe neighborhood and this was way back when in the early 70s. We usually walked across a field that was between our house and the store. Once we were walking and this guy pulls up in his car and asks us for directions to the main road (which you could see from where we stood). We pointed towards the road and went on our way.
On the way back, this same car pulls up and my lil sis goes right up to his window and leans on the car talking to the guy. In the meantime, I look down and notice that the guy is wearing nothing from the waist down and obviously aroused. I yanked my sis away from the car, and hollered "run, he's a bad man!". We ran all the home, crying and hysterical. We ran into the house and ran straight back to our parents' room.
They thought we'd been hurt and were horrified, until my sis (barely understandable through her tears) blurted out, "I thought it was a gearshift!". My parents lost it. Even though it was a serious situation, they couldn't help themselves. I guess it was a form of hysterics for them.
Don't worry, when they calmed down, they called the police.
DD18 wasnt one for being too weird as a little 'un but I do remember one from her. When DD14 was about 6 months old and starting to teeth, I gave her the bone from a chicken drum stick to chew on. DD then 5 said "Dont give her a bone. She's not a dog!"
DD14 on the other hand, WAS very prone to doing odd things...
When she was around 3 her and I were at the Op shop (second hand clothing store) I 'thought' she was playing with the toys while I was browsing. I heard a couple of older ladies say "Oh how cute. That little girl is pretending to use the potty"
It was DD and she was NOT pretending!
Most annoying thing was shop didnt have a toilet OR running water for me to clean it out
Speaking of smelly feet. My sis and I kinda lived sheltered lives as preachers kids. One summer when I was 9 and my sis was 8, we went to kids camp that was held at an old college. We bunked down in the dorms, the boys in one building and the girls in another.
We had a blast and when we got home we excitedly told our parents all about the cool "feet washers" they had in the dorm bathrooms. All the girls were using them and we "got to wash our feet everyday without taking a bath!". What a cool invention!
We could not understand why our parents were falling out on the bed, tears coming from their eyes, and unable to speak because they were laughing so hard.
It seems like our dorm had been a men's dorm in its previous life and those "feet washers" were actually urinals.
Laughing so hard im crying..
They thought we'd been hurt and were horrified, until my sis (barely understandable through her tears) blurted out, "I thought it was a gearshift!". My parents lost it. Even though it was a serious situation, they couldn't help themselves. I guess it was a form of hysterics for them.
Don't worry, when they calmed down, they called the police.
Awww.
.."Oh how cute. That little girl is pretending to use the potty"
It was DD and she was NOT pretending!
Most annoying thing was shop didnt have a toilet OR running water for me to clean it out
Good thing she wasn't at Home Depot or the local hardware store, well at least they would have had water. lol
This one from my late wifes childhood.
Her grandmother was the owner of a large farm in Vermont, and the old school type. My wife loved her and the discipline she lived along with the respect everybody showed her, even the men.
When late wife was but a small girl she was out playing and got into trouble for something, and as is custom was asked by her Grandmom to go pick a switch for her so she could spank her with it. She came back with a 4 inch twig.
They all laughed so hard she dodged the spanking.
When I was around 5 years old, I loved my Aunt Olive. She was allways there with laughter and a smile. She wasn't really my aunt, but my Moms friend, but she loved me, you could just tell.
Well they lived about 3 miles from our house, part of it being down a pretty busy inter-state highway. I remembered the way there, and wanted to go one day when Mom said no.
Yup you guessed it, a five-year old took his tricycle and rode it to his aunt olives. They were not home, and after say 10-15 mins my Mom showed up.
She picked her own switch BTW..
When I was a little kid it was generally said around my grandmas house that "Children should be seen and not heard", but I allways had a lot to say,(bet you picked up on that by now lol).
When I would occasionnally go spend time at Grandmas like overnight I would have a lot to talk about to her. She would listen with a smile and comment "u-huh" here and there. The same with my Gramps except with him was more chuckling and laughter. You would expect that when listening to a 7 year old trying to be 20 anyways. I must have been a trip.
I was a little self-conciuos of myself,(lol), and that didn't stop at how much I talked either. One day I asked Gram if it bothered her that I talked so much and she let out a hearty laugh. "CP, I have learned to shut you off a long time ago"
Looking back and knowing we can only pick our battles, that must have been a healthy defense mechanism.
I had difficult nieghbors were I grew up from 7-18. One day a shunk got killed by a nieghbors dog. Before they could remove the skunk, the other nieghbors kid, (who was allways getting away with bad chit and they wouldn't punish him), took a big stone and broke open the dead skunk, causing the horrible stench to come though our yards and into our open windows for days.
We went to to the kids parents and told them but they refused to have the boy clean up his mess. He kept saying it smelled to bad, and waa-waa waambulance like he allways did.
After the third night of smelling this the offending niebors went away for the day. I took a glove and heaved the skunk up on top of their porch roof. It took a month for them to find where the smell came from, and when they did, the rest of the neihborhood caved and told them I did it.
Then the older teen-age girls tried to give me a lecture about it, how it was next to there room, but I was used to there tactics and denial issues about thier brother so it fell on deaf ears. I told them why I did it and said I was sorry they had to suffer as we did.
I DID get heck from my parents though, I think I was 12.
I went to my daughters house to babysit today. My grandaughter ussually wants o go places with me and I ahd planned to go to a friends house and clean the car. When I asked her if she wanted to go to Rocks house she said no to my surprise, she wanted to go back home and ride her bike.
No amount of coaxing and begging or bribing with breakfast or goodies could get her to change her mind until I asked.
"Do you want to go to Rocks and show him your hairdo?
"Yes Grampa"
What a girly girl lol
CP, just read your stories....funny, funny...and little girls are so cuuuute...little boys are too, but theres nothing like a little girly, girl..
I had one but now I forget...My son did something funny in the car yesterday...but for the life of me I cant remember, ill have to ask him and he said something funny with his friends too, that one I dont think he knows that he said sumthin funny...Ooooo, I need to write these down as they happen...My memory is shot!
Thx Still. I wish I could remember them all too. Seems like they were allways cute even when they were brats.
Its funny, allways liked to talk about life and assumptions and habits and peoples general behavior as my children could understand them and/or they needed to because of circumstances. My kids still think I am to "heavy", lol. I think i do tend to be more seriuos than most and thinking to much can be my downfall, but I also am thankful they are thoughtful and generally responsible.
Funny how the very things I would preach to them years ago they preach back at me now as if they came up with the idea themselves. Wonder how much I did that with my parents. Also how much we humans do it with God. I believe all good thoughts and actions come from a higher source outside ourselves and the best we can do is share them, or we plagurize them and call them our own. Either way its the human condition.
Thank God for extended family that supports the weak when they get old just as we did when we were young and strong. You reap what you sow and what goes around comes around.
My kids are living better than and more stable emotional lives than my late wife and I had. At thier age neither of us had what they had. It surprised me that my oldest daughter is close to the age that I met her Mom. By that time her Mom had been married once at 16, gone thru many substance abuse issues and rode the emotional rollercoaster for years. She dodged that bullit.
My 24 year old is in line for management at AT&T and is a top salesmen. He also is living a dream of producing music for charity and working towards going to school for alternate energy sources. I had the same dreams as a young man, but he is able to realize them.
My youngest 19 still amazes me with his depth of thought. He reminds me of me in how he thinks, but his thoughts are different. He is not as emotionally or socially stunted at his age even though he went through so much . We didn't have stuff, but we stayed together and didn't give up. I think that even though his life has been hard that means more to him than anything. That 6'4 gentle giant still gives me a hug when he goes to bed. He is learning still and growing but I still invest on them disciplining themselves and dealing with truth. Regurdless of how life has been, the challange is to not let bad circumatances twist them and rob them of joy or the confidance that they can change thier life if they try, and that is winning when they don't give up.
Dang...I started in and forgot the silly story lol. Well I will come back and put one up when I can remember it. I have to remember NOT to be so seriuos!!!
Sounds like your kids have a wonderful and very wise father...
Sounds like your kids have a wonderful and very wise father...
Lol, yeah, like solomon, problem with he was he was warned not to marry women from distant lands and religions when he was young, and in the end it destroyed him as they pulled him all over the place. His greatness did not last all his life. I laugh at myself if I ever think I know things thru and thru. IMO wisdom is knowing you don't and never will. Just told son there will be problems every day and their is no quick fix or grand sweeping event that would handle them all.
Soon as I know the answers they change the questions...
I thank you for the compliment though and even though it hurt them when my wife fell so hard she did have a lot to do with how they turned out. She was a good Mom for thier young years.
Well, you sound very wise to me....and i can tell you love them very much...
I remembered the story with my DS and his friends...he has a friend that is a girl and they were playing outside and he gave her a playful push into the mulch (I was spying out the window) well she starts chasing him and they are laughing and he keeps running in my house and locking the door to hide. After the third time running in the house I said "Why dont you just apologize to her, shes not mad, if you apologize she will probably stop chasing you"
DS said "Apologize and lose my manhood!?".....Mwhahahahaha, I could not stop laughing.
Thats a good one lol. Someone on FB posted something today. here it is...
Has learned my lesson of letting a 5 year old run around taking photos with a digital camera starts off with walls floors ect, then goes to the animals, then to his army guy's then lets just say 2 photos not so good front and back side of him self, then back to taking photos of his toy air crafts ...4 months later finding them after uploading to the pc.
Good thing he doesn't use u-tube lol
Ok, So you can imagine my DGD who is 3 1/2 now is really at the cute stage. Here is one of the latest.
My DD came into the dining room where GD was eating a salad, She looks at her and says,
"Do you like that salad, are you eating it all up so you can get big and strong?"
" Yep , I'm gonna grow up and get a big belly like Grampa!"
Then in an excited pantmine she holds her hands out and says..
"Its SOOO big!! ITs way out here"
Time to work on my diet..
A friend of mine, who lived with his wife next door to my wife and kids when they were little,(DD4 at the time). Did something hilaruous.
They were having a "girls only" sleep over at the house The girls were 4, 6, 10, and 12. Now three of the girls were his daughters, and he was teasing them all day about not being able to come. Of course they all just ignored him cuz he teased all the time.
This guy was a mans man, hunter, construction work, brought up rough and in a rural area, farm worker..Think of Popeye the Sailor, about the same size, and smoked 2 packs a day. But sweet when it came to kids, all kids, his wife too.
He dressed up with his sons, 14 and 18, in girls dresses, wigs, and makeup, went to the door and disguised thier voices, and raided the party.
The girls squealed and loved it too
It takes a real man to wear a pink Tutu.
So, DD#2 planted a sunflower seed at school and brought it home yesterday. We went to plant it outside. I thought since the plant was small I'd just use my bulb planter to make a hole. I didn't put my tools away when we got done...my bad. I was doing some yardwork while the girls were running around. DD#1 comes running back and starts messing with the water hose and I ask her what she was doing. She said she was washing off the poop. Apparently DD#2 thought it would be funny to stick my bulb planter into a big pile of dog crap the neighbor's dog left in our yard, and chase DD#1 around with a big ball of dog crap. In what universe is it OK to play in poop???
.. Apparently DD#2 thought it would be funny to stick my bulb planter into a big pile of dog crap the neighbor's dog left in our yard, and chase DD#1 around with a big ball of dog crap. In what universe is it OK to play in poop???
Lol, yeah I know, you would think the smell alone would keep you away from it.
Here's a funny story, or at least I think it's funny:
DH, DD (14), DS (13) and I are all playing Scrabble on our iTouch's.
DD got some absurd number of points for the word "gays". DH was in her room, teasing her, saying "What in the heck is "gays"....and for 25 point?!?!"
DD (7) heard them from her room and went to join the conversation. She said "you don't know what GAYS means??? It means to STARE!".
LOL...we were all cracking up.
.
DD (7) heard them from her room and went to join the conversation. She said "you don't know what GAYS means??? It means to STARE!".
LOL...we were all cracking up.
I love it when they are so insistent on what they know, those are the best things to tease about when they are older
ok this happened with my oldest son who at the time was about 5 years old (he is now 13) i was making spagetti for dinner and i always make meatballs when i make spagetti well instead of hamburger we had some deer meat but of course it was packaged different than hamburger so my son asks me what it was and i explained that i was making meatballs out of the deer meat.
he thinks for a few seconds then runs screaming through the house WAHOOOOOOO we are having deer balls for dinner!!!!!!
needless to say i was rolling on the floor from laughing so hard.
.. Apparently DD#2 thought it would be funny to stick my bulb planter into a big pile of dog crap the neighbor's dog left in our yard, and chase DD#1 around with a big ball of dog crap. In what universe is it OK to play in poop???
Lol, yeah I know, you would think the smell alone would keep you away from it.
I dunno, I once heard a comedian say that you could rob a bank with a booger -- as in, "Gimme all your money or I'll put this on you" -- Using that logic, I'll bet you could take over the world with a bulb planter full of poo!
This is a hilarious thread -- I can't believe today is the first time I've seen it! Thanks for the laughs y'all!
Mrs. W
I took my 4 year old DD to the doctor for a run-of-the-mill upper respiratory infection. The Dr. did the normal peering into the ears, eyes, throat and, lastly, the nose. After the nose, DD asks "Did you see the web?"
Dr. looks at me oddly, "The what?" DD repeats "The web!"
I shrug, totally bewildered....??
DD then says, "well Mommy always says I have buggies (boogies) up there, why can't you see the webs?"
Needless to say, Dr. and I were practically on the floor laughing and DD was now the one completely bewildered.
My mother noticed that my 5 year old sister was standing at the doorway of an empty mens room. When mom went to cart her away, my sister pointed to the urinals on the wall and asked what they were. Not ready for an explanation of male anatomy my mother said, "Oh those; they're for ladies with sore backs"
When I was a child we lived in a neighborhood where few people owned dryers or had fences. Clothes were dried on clothes lines in backyards.
There were no leash laws either. Our dog would steal clothes from back yards and bring them home. Since we had no idea where they came from, my mother would make us wear them if they fit.
Its odd to have a wardrobe chosen by your dog.
A few years ago one of our family dogs died. We had a ceremony in the back yard and buried him there.
A few months later my daughter was having a sleep over in our den. There was a sliding glass door to the back yard.
Our other dog 'bear' used to love showing off things he'd found. He may have been the first dog in canine history to actually catch a squirrel. He proudly tossed it in the air for a few days.
As night was approaching, I heard these blood curdling screams from the sleep over in the den. I ran down there to find bear at the door, wanting in, having dug up and dragged the other dog with him.
I had to apologize to several parents the next morning.
A few years ago one of our family dogs died. We had a ceremony in the back yard and buried him there.
A few months later my daughter was having a sleep over in our den. There was a sliding glass door to the back yard.
Our other dog 'bear' used to love showing off things he'd found. He may have been the first dog in canine history to actually catch a squirrel. He proudly tossed it in the air for a few days.
As night was approaching, I heard these blood curdling screams from the sleep over in the den. I ran down there to find bear at the door, wanting in, having dug up and dragged the other dog with him.
I had to apologize to several parents the next morning.
ok new one this just happened today wife took me and the kids out to eat for fathers day.
we always joke around with my daughter she is 18 months old when we are cooking dinner we will take one of her plastic forks and poke her on the butt and say yep she is done.
well while we are eating the waitress is seating a group at the table next to ours and getting thier drink order my daughter took her fork poked the waitres in the butt and yelled for everyone to hear that the waitress was done.
of course we were embarased and laughing at the same time so i guess our little joke with her is going to have to stop now cant have her poking people at random with forks proclaiming they are done and ready to eat lol
Today, my 4 year old boy came flying into the room with his hands on his hips. "Excuse me," he announced in as booming of a voice as he could muster, "I am your hero. I am here to rescue a
woman."
Chivalry ain't dead yet, folks!
Holy hot mustard!
How cute is your son Prisca?
Our son used to "fly" wearing one of my cotton dishtowels as a cape.
Now he's wearing full Army battle rattle.
Gotta share this insight from my five-year-old niece:
She's walking around this afternoon repeating 'Plan B, Plan B' to herself (Such big ears, she was in the other part of the house)
I stop her and say 'Sweetheart, what are you talking about? what is Plan B?"
She says: "It is about saving somebody".
Me: "Saving somebody from what?"
Her: "A giant killer hedgehog!"
Make of that what you will.....
Just a quirky thing I thought of this morning.
My three year old is cleaning the tables with babywipes. She has a Crayola Green Marker in her one hand.
She says to me, "Mommy, go on your computer."
Me: "Why?"
DD: "Just do Mommy."
Me: "DD are you wanting me to leave the room so you can use that green marker to draw on my table?"
DD: with a huge grin, "Yes"
Me: "Thanks for not lying, but you know we don't draw on the tables, let me get you some paper."
The jist of the story is kids learn at a very early age how to do things in secrecy when they know they shouldn't. How many BS come here and are scared to EXPOSE? Don't they get it the waywards learned at a very young age that doing stuff in secrecy is the only way bad behavior can happen.
Me: "DD, did you just write on that table when I went to get you paper?"
DD: "Yes"
Me: "Okay - give me the marker, the TV is off and you need to clean it up and sit in the corner for 5 minutes."
DD: Screaming - Crying and now throwing a temper tantrum.
Amazing how this resembles EXPOSURE!!!
Tough~
My daughter (to my 3-yr old grandson): "Why are you upset?"
Grandson: "because you broke my heart and now Jesus is gonna fall out."
My daughter (to my 3-yr old grandson): "Why are you upset?"
Grandson: "because you broke my heart and now Jesus is gonna fall out."
McDonalds Man: which McFlurry would you like?
Husband: Coookie Crumble (( cooooooookie crumble- local accent(up north) turns "oo" into "oo", like in boot))
DS5: He means cookie crumble - he's from Stoke
That made me laugh Staytogether.
My dd7 when she was 6 asked me in all honesty "Mummy, why do normal people say 'I don't like it.' but my cousins say 'Ah doht laahke it!' (They're from Rochdale which for US people is about an hour away from Stoke).
You talkin bout Vermont?
Hornpout and a costle of milk?
I'm sorry I mean, "two quart costle" of milk?
Forgot a lot of the G rated Vermont sayings, and most of the others too lol
Pleased you appreciated it Rosy, I wondered whether it would translate.
CP We live in the south of England, my H comes from about 170miles north where the accent and dialect are rather different
Me and My Lady