Marriage Builders
Posted By: Pepperband A discovery of "walls and doors". - 01/19/12 03:53 PM
I cannot tell you how much this post means to me.


Originally Posted by Mortarman
Sounds like you are doing the battle plan. So, let me just nibble around the edges.

As I eluded to above, make sure you include taking care of you. Remember, the first rule of combat is "take care of yourself." Why? Because if you dont, then you are no good to anyone else. Your kids (and maybe even your WW) are counting on you to be there. So, make sure you do the little things that take care of you.

Second, you might want to shorten your prayers. Jesus sees you. He is standing right there with you. The betrayal you feel, He feels also...because your wife has not only betrayed you, she has betrayed Him. He weeps as you do.

Instead, my prayers got shorter as time went on...well, let me clarify that. I talk to Jesus constantly. That is the relationship part of the two of us. But when I say I shortened my prayers, I mean that I stopped with the laundry list of requests. He knows what I need.

All I ask now is two things. Number one is that His will be done, not mine. And number two, that he shows me walls and doors. Walls and doors are nothing but this...

In the Bible, it says that He is a lamp unto our feet. What does that mean? Well, in that day, the lamp they were talking about was a lamp with a candle in it...illuminating the path of a traveller at night. Well, how far does a candle illuminate? Not too far! Maybe a few steps in front of you.

But I have NO IDEA what lies down the road. It might be a dead end. It might be a cliff. I have no clue. And that is the point! When I pray "walls and doors," I am saying to Him "Jesus, I can only see a few steps in front. I am trusting you. So, I will pray for you to show me walls and doors. If the path I am on, if the decision I am making is not YOUR will, then please put a wall in front of me so I dont go over the cliff. If it is your will, then show me a door to go through."

Since I have done that...since I have relinguished my will to control my path...guess what? I have gotten walls and doors.

So, when I have designs to do something...but then it just seems to be getting harder and harder to do...and I cant get it done...I look up and ask "is this a wall?" And I quickly find out that even though I wanted to do this thing, it wasnt His will. And so I thank him, make a left or right face (or even an about face sometimes)...and we continue.

My relationship with Christ is one of beginnings. He walks with me. At times I stumble. But instead of laughing at me, or admonishing me, He just reaches down, picks me up, dusts me off...and we begin again. One foot in front of the other.

This is where you need to get to. You CANNOT control what is going on in the foxhole next to you. All you can do is concentrate on what is between your sector stakes...and let God handle the rest.

One last thing...my favorite general of all time once said "Wisdom is nothing more than healed pain." General Robert E. Lee

You are about to become VERY wise.
Posted By: Pepperband Re: A discovery of "walls and doors". - 01/19/12 03:54 PM
Originally Posted by Mortarman
Oh, by the way...another way to know if it is a wall or door is if it leaves a knot on your forehead!!
Posted By: Pepperband Re: A discovery of "walls and doors". - 01/19/12 03:58 PM
Originally Posted by MM
Remember, the first rule of combat is "take care of yourself." Why? Because if you dont, then you are no good to anyone else.

Well, I finally get this.
The multiple knots on my head have 'illuminated' the correct choice.
Posted By: Pepperband Re: A discovery of "walls and doors". - 01/19/12 04:01 PM
What I presumed was a 'wall' in my life is actually a door.

I would not have recognized this door if it were not for the knots.

Posted By: Pepperband Re: A discovery of "walls and doors". - 01/19/12 04:03 PM
Quote
His will be done, not mine.

Surrendering to God is the door.
Posted By: Pepperband Re: A discovery of "walls and doors". - 01/19/12 04:05 PM
Originally Posted by MM
You are about to become VERY wise.

I believe it is so.
My forehead knots tell me it is so.
smile
Posted By: Pepperband Re: A discovery of "walls and doors". - 01/19/12 04:32 PM
Quote
So, when I have designs to do something...but then it just seems to be getting harder and harder to do...and I cant get it done...I look up and ask "is this a wall?" And I quickly find out that even though I wanted to do this thing, it wasn't His will. And so I thank him, make a left or right face (or even an about face sometimes)...and we continue.

When I was in my 30's, I wanted something so much. It was so effortless for other women, but impossible for me. I tried and I tried.
It was not His will. A wall. A wall I hated. A wall I grieved.

Now, in my 60's, I discover that "No" from 30 years ago has allowed a door today.

I am amazed. I am grateful for that long ago wall of "No".
Posted By: Pepperband Re: A discovery of "walls and doors". - 01/19/12 04:36 PM
Thank you mods! kiss
Posted By: GJM Re: A discovery of "walls and doors". - 01/19/12 04:44 PM
I take comfort in knowing that those things came from my thread. They certainly make sense and mortarman is a wise man.
Posted By: workit Re: A discovery of "walls and doors". - 01/19/12 04:55 PM
An AMAZING post from mortarman that illuminates some if not all of life's hard lessons!
Thanks Mortarman
Posted By: Pepperband Re: A discovery of "walls and doors". - 01/19/12 05:01 PM
Originally Posted by GJM
I take comfort in knowing that those things came from my thread. They certainly make sense and mortarman is a wise man.

Link to original

Posted By: GJM Re: A discovery of "walls and doors". - 01/19/12 05:20 PM
Pep,
You don't need to make a link to my thread....I was just being appreciative.
Posted By: Pepperband Re: A discovery of "walls and doors". - 01/19/12 05:23 PM
That link is for others, not you dummy.

kiss
Posted By: GJM Re: A discovery of "walls and doors". - 01/19/12 06:25 PM
Originally Posted by Pepperband
That link is for others, not you dummy.

kiss

Oh...lol

twoxfour
Posted By: Migs Re: A discovery of "walls and doors". - 01/19/12 09:30 PM
Like!!!
Posted By: nesre Re: A discovery of "walls and doors". - 01/20/12 04:01 AM
Thanks Pep for putting this up.

Quote
So, when I have designs to do something...but then it just seems to be getting harder and harder to do...and I cant get it done...I look up and ask "is this a wall?" And I quickly find out that even though I wanted to do this thing, it wasnt His will. And so I thank him, make a left or right face (or even an about face sometimes)...and we continue.


M 29 yrs
DS 28 DD 18
Me 53 FWH FBS
MTA signed 5/11/2011
D final 5/16/2011

Free.... and going wherever the big guy wants me to go......Its a whole lot easier without the knots!
Posted By: Scotland Re: A discovery of "walls and doors". - 01/20/12 01:49 PM
Props to Mortarman. I too learned much from this series of posts. It came at a time that was much needed. It opened my eyes, and stopped my headache. I may share more on my own thread soon, as soon as I get the courage. It was coming, and this has pushed me through the correct DOOR.

Posted By: wulffpack_girl Re: A discovery of "walls and doors". - 01/20/12 08:31 PM
Thank you, Pep and Mortarman for this.

I have been having a rough go of it lately, and to be honest, I felt like I had lost all faith. Now I know what to ask Him for.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: A discovery of "walls and doors". - 03/17/12 02:09 AM
Bump
Posted By: Mrs_Recon6mo Re: A discovery of "walls and doors". - 04/05/12 09:35 AM
bump
Posted By: Logans_Run Re: A discovery of "walls and doors". - 07/01/12 09:21 PM
Bump
Posted By: BetrayedP Re: A discovery of "walls and doors". - 10/29/12 02:45 PM
This certainly gives me a new perspective. Because I've been butting up against a wall this past year with regard to my marriage. I think I'm finally ready to let go and let God.
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