http://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/...ng-on-your-partner/ss-BBDMCYV?li=BBnb7Kz

I saw this article on MSN, and rather than a serious article about the destruction that affairs cause, it reads more like a how-to article. I don't offend easily, but coupled with photos of happy waywards and the "playful tone" used in a few places ("Ripped a shirt off in the heat of the moment? Stained a shirt collar with lipstick?"), this article really ticks me off.

As a BS I'm more sensitive to this than the typical reader of the article, but seriously, what kind of amoral people write and publish this garbage?

It's so cute when a newly BS starts to notice this stuff. You're going to put a favourite movie on one of these days and get the shock of your life!

Ask Melody Lane what she thinks of the Bridges of Madison County!


I can't watch An Affair To Remember anymore. Bette Davis fooled me. How?! The WORD is in the TITLE.

I can watch Gone with the Wind though. I think it's because Rhett Butler is a kickass BH and there is actual fog! Which Scarlet comes out of. This tickles me.

That�s sick. It really is a how-to disguised as a warning. Adulterers suck, and so do those who support them.

You can't escape these things! Even as someone who, with four kids, pretty much only watches children's movies, I was astonished that the Lego Ninjago movie from a few months ago reduced one of my sons to tears. The storyline was: evil egomaniac dad chooses to leave wife and baby in order to pursue a selfish life of excitement and ambition for world domination.....it struck a chord.....

I started noticing it right after D-day (1 year anniversary of D-day this Sunday), it's everywhere. I can also tell that my kids notice it much more now, when we're watching TV or a movie. DS just made a comment yesterday while I was watching Walking Dead with him, that a certain character was a loser. "Why do you say that?" "Because she was cheating on Rick [her husband] with Shane [Rick's best friend]."


Speaking of Rhett Butler, I watched Boom Town with Clark Gable on Sunday, and his character cheats on his loving wife (played by Claudette Colbert) with his secretary (played by Hedy Lamarr). Makes me sick!

Thanks for confirming that I wasn't imagining it, it really is an adultery how-to. The author made sure to include the obligatory "We're not judging". God forbid they "judge" someone for despicable and disgusting behavior.

I'm sorry that the movie caused your son pain.

The only upside to all this is that our children have learned very valuable life lessons, which should protect them in the future. But a curse on selfish waywards for putting our children through such pain!

You will be ultra sensitive to it for awhile, but that will fade.

I think it is crazy how this article focuses on the cost of a trip or gift, but not the cost of ruining your life and the lives of your family members. Um, pretty sure the latter is the greater cost

Mmmm, it's faded for me too, actually. Although I wonder how much of that is healing and how much is auto avoidance. I'm careful these days about what I watch and I didn't clink on the link which began this thread. I knew exactly the type of article it was just from the description and I hate triggers. But when I accidentally stumble on something these days, it's mostly okay which always surprises me.

I had to chuckle when I saw the mention of The Bridges of Madison County. Prior to D-Day, I stupidly thought it was a beautiful love story.

Flipping through channels a few months after finding MB, I caught a few minutes of it and all I could think is "Wow, what a bunch of fog babble!"

Our 5th anniversary of D-Day is coming up and we're now in a recovered marriage, so my sensitivity has faded as well. But I also avoid stuff like this whenever I can...I didn't click on the link that began this thread either. I knew it would be a trigger.

I once loved that movie until I became enlightened! It is so disgusting! My mother was telling my aunt once that she didn't like Clint Eastwood movies except Bridges of Madison County. So my aunt asked what it was about and I filled her in alright!! When I got done my poor aunt was horrified!

p.s. my mother was an OW so I am not surprised she likes that disgraceful movie.

We get a kick out of watching movies and TV and saying "See; the script writers sure sound like they have a wayward viewpoint there, don't they?" (And occasionally noticing the opposite.)

That is certainly the case for me right now, hopefully it will fade for me, too. I should also practice the auto-avoidance mentioned by a few of you. Maybe the A is still so relatively recent for me that I'm not yet smart enough to practice auto-avoidance.


Exactly! Honestly, I would have gladly paid any amount of money if it would have avoided the destruction of my family, and the pain WW caused the kids and me. There's no price tag that can match that cost!

I would suggest practicing avoidance of any and all triggers.

Dr Harley has 'avoidance' in much of his plans, avoiding talking about the affair, avoiding triggers, and similarly, avoiding anything to do with WS in a Plan B. Out of sight of of mind is the theory. And it works! Initially I avoided many movies, many songs, not even triggers but love songs that made me feel bad given the situation, places, anything to do with my own wedding. I avoided anything that made me feel BAD and replaced it with things that made me feel GOOD. It is so therapeutic.

Talk therapy and the social norm to rehash tragic things is ridiculously ignorant. People view 'avoidance' as a bad thing, my mom for instance likens it to 'keeping things bottled up inside'. I can only say from personal experience that it is the constant dwelling on pain that damages you, not the opposite.

I so agree with this. My parents were of the generation that went through WW2. My father fought in the war was wounded in the Normandy landings. My mother listened every night to bombs dropping over London as a teenager. Her best friend's parents were shot by the Gestapo for helping Jews to escape Belgium when she was 12.

You can go on and on with these stories but they all have a common ending. In every case the people went on to have normal successful lives and they did it by looking forwards not backwards. None of them ever mentioned the war.

There's definitely something to what you're saying, Living_well. I've noticed the same pattern with my grandparents, but I never connected the dots, so to speak. They were a 'tougher' generation than us, that's for sure.