I am a 30-something mother of an 8 year old and 3 year old triplets, all daughters, who was left by my 30-something husband of 16 years for a 22 year old who lived with her parents and worked with my ex. As if the separation and the divorce weren't enough, my ex has stalled on removing his property from my home (he left me with our farm)as he says that the thought of removing it makes him feel guilty as to how it will hurt me. I learned recently that he will, infact, be removing it soon, and moving it directly at the top of my drive, as he purchased the farm adjacent to me on the north, and intends to make that his new home. At first, without me asking, he assured me that he would be living there alone, and I (or atleast the Giver in me) believed that this would be a good thing for our children, to have their Dad which they adore so near, but I now hear from my 8 year old that his gal has been hammering on him for an engagement ring for xmas. He's in turmoil with his decision, as he says that he feels so guilty towards me that he thinks it not fair for him to go on with a "happy life". The truth, as I see it, is that they fight like cats and dogs as she is too immature to handle the fact that the children and I didn't go away after the divorce,he tells me that having her around with the kids is like adding another, only she is the worst of them all!This leaves me to wonder why he'd want to move her so close to us. Anyway, my question is, do I have the right to be upset if they play house next door to me? I know it's his life, but I feel that they are rubbing it in my face,I must pass this house every trip to town. Not to mention he keeps a mental tab on who comes and goes at my place, frequently asking me inappropriate questions regarding my company. I don't know how to respond to him...I am still reeling from all of this...still wishing I could put it back together somehow...just don't want to read anything more into this close-knit community. Anyone have any suggestions, besides moving? I don't believe that my family could withstand any more changes at this time. Thanks for the input, <BR>Ang

ang..<P>I am not an expert, but it sounds as if you ex could be experiencing second thoughts about leaving you and the kids and is finding his new romance not to be as exciting as he thought it might be.<P>Is there any chance for reconciliation? I really feel for you and your family. I would say that there probably isn't much you can do if he is determined to go ahead and move in, except that maybe he won't include "her" with his move.<P>If your happy where you are, I would stay there. But sometimes, a whole fresh start can really put things into perspective.<P>Hang in there! We're all here for you!

Wow triplets! That must keep you busy.<P>For my .02 worth -- I'd do whatever is best for the kids. A 22 year old OW is not going to take lightly to having an instant family of four.<P>Probably having their dad nearby and your having a positive outlook is more important than leapfrogging all over town to avoid him.<P>Cheating spouses have a mental illness that causes them to act very strangely and without regards to anybody but themselves. Don't allow yourself to catch it!<P>P