My h and I have had a pretty bumpy ride as of the past year or so. our sex life really lacks. I can't seem to relax because he always frustrates me. He doesn't try because he is afraid to frustrate me. It's a catch 22. <P>The past month we decided to try to have another child. This would of course involve sex. Well two days went by that we were supose to try and h is not doing any thing about it. I feel as though I must be very agressive or there is no sex. I have not come on to him hoping that he would take the reighs but nothing so far. <P>yesterday I heard him down stairs masterbating. I don't know what to think. my imagination is going wild. Is he trying to get rid of the sperm, so we dont get pregnant? is he fantisizing about another? Why does he not want ME? I feel so lost and alone. <P>I cant go to him at this point. I feel scared to tell him what I know. He thinks, I thought he had fallen back asleep on the couch. I know he was up the whole time because I heard him.
I don;t have an answer for you as to why he would do this. But, a caution...if your marriage is "bumpy" and your sex life lacking (often a sign of a faltering relationship), are you SURE having a child now is a good idea?<BR>A child will put more strain on your relationship, and will be one more person to be hurt if the relationship goes south. I'd suggest you work on the relationship first...once it is strong and lovely, then have another child. I know you probably want them closer together...but in the long run, that is not as important as it seems to you now.<BR>Kathi (who wanted them 3-4 years apart, and has them 6.5 years apart).<BR><p>[This message has been edited by kam6318 (edited February 03, 2000).]
have to agree with Kathi on this one--why in the world if your relationship is on such an unsolid foundation would you want to bring a child into it?<P>Please work on your relationship--when you get it back to where it should be--then consider another child.<P>Also--look back at your relationship--did the trouble start when you initially had children? Be honest with yourself--and really question your own motives here.<P>May God Bless you