Follow up on Constant conflicts with new husband

Well, nothing seems to work with him. I can't seem to get anything through to him about how I feel, and I don't think that he wants to hear it. We went out for dinner last night and we started talking about babies. Needless to say he told me that he didn't think that I can have a baby and neither do I, but we never have sex during my ovulation period either. We don't have sex enough to impregnant me. He said that he wouldn't be mad if I did get pregnant. What is that supposed to mean? Is he trying to say that he would like to have one? If so, what a way to tell me. Then we came home from dinner and I was really tired and went to bed. while I was sleeping he was on prono sites and we had just had sex hours ago. First time in like 2 1/2 weeks I might add. Why? I don't understand why? He had already had sex, the only thing that I can come up with is that I am not satisfying him in some way. I thought that I had. I am really hurt by all of this and I am sure that I am leaving stuff out too, but I just woke up and I am not in the best of moods now since I found that on his computer. Thanks

You really need someone to talk to! I noticed that you wrote that a while ago, so I hope things have improved since them.By the sounds of it, he does want to have babies, but I agree that he could have told you in a better way! Babies are supposed to be the best things that happen to us. My H doesn't want them period!

well, it hasn't really gotten better since then. Still no sex since that post and we kind of talked about it yesterday. He asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I tried to change the subject. Then after about 5 minutes or so he guessed it and I said yes that I want to have a baby. He basically said that it scares him etc. I can understand that, but he isn't the one going through all of that, I am. I don't know what to think at this point. I don't like to have conversations like that with him because esp. that one because I am sensitive about that among other things. I will work it out in time I guess. Thanks for your reply. no one else wanted to reply to me. :-)

Hello Tx,This may seem harsh but I think that the last thing you should be contemplating is having a baby. Your marriage relationship is already strained. A baby will only add more elements of stress to that relationship. You owe it to your child to first fix the marriage. A child will not help that!Mud <><

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Mudder: Hello Tx,This may seem harsh but I think that the last thing you should be contemplating is having a baby. Your marriage relationship is already strained. A baby will only add more elements of stress to that relationship. You owe it to your child to first fix the marriage. A child will not help that!Mud <><<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You are so right. I know that this is true and that that is what I should do. My only concern now is that I am 29 and that he is 23 and that not only am I running out of time to have a child, am I actually able to. I had toxic shock when I was 16 and was in icu for 5 days because of it and also my family has a history of endometrosis and every female in my family has had emergency hystorectomy's by the age of 30. That is all, and yes you are absolutly correct in what you have told me. I agree. Thanks

Hey hey hey, 29 is not "running out of time". I'm 26 and won't be out of school and ready to have a baby until I'm about 31. That's fine with me, more time for my husband I. I agree with a previous poster that babies should be the last thing on your mind. I think your marriage needs some major help before you go and bring a child into it. Children are always the one's who suffer when the parents make bad decissions(sp?).

this is for clyons. Maybe you didn't read why I am worried about if I can even have children....emergency hystorectomy means no children. They remove your uterus. Which means?.... no children. Yes, I agree that it is not a great situation to bring a child into, didn't you see that I also put that she was right? I know that 29 is not that old, but with my history, it is and yes I am running out of time.

Ok, there is no need to get caty. I understand your "medical condition" and the fact that you seem to think your "running out of time". Excuse me! There are alternatives in regards to children such as adoption. Perhaps offer a loving home to a needy child, but wait until you have a loving home.

I too understand where you are coming from. I didn't mean to be caty. Just frustrated is all. I want a child of my own. I want to go through it all the way. I know about adoption, I used to work for an adoption agency/dna place. I would rather have my own. Hope that you can understand that. also, my husband and I had a very long discussion about a lot of things last night. who knows where that will go.

Glad to hear that you two were able to discuss things. I fully understand about wanting your own child and respect that. I hope everything works out well for you.