Famous quotes from betraying spouses - Marriage Builders® Forums

Here is a few of the statements my Wife has used (and many others spouses too!). Most of ‘em are pretty textbook.“I haven’t loved you for a long time” “I love you, but I’m not IN love with you” “I care about you” “It’s not about sex“ “I didn’t mean for this to happen” “See, you’ll never get over this” “I’m sorry I hurt you” “You’ll never let me live this down” “I don’t feel guilty about anything I’ve done” “You never bought me Coke, you only got Pepsi”. Well, okay, I haven’t heard that one from anyone else [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

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! ------------------ “I’m not afraid anymore, it’s only a broken heart” Only A Broken Heart - Tom PettyPrayers & God Bless! Chris[This message has been edited by Chris (CA123) (edited May 18, 1999).]

How about: "It isn't about you, it's about me." "I didn't think you could forgive me." "It will always come back to this won't it?" "I never meant to hurt you."and my all time favorite quote: "She's just a friend!"

..and these:"You weren't supposed to know""It doesn't mean anything to me" or "He didn't mean anything to me""He could never compete with you"Marty

(Seeing my reaction to finding out): "Typical male!...It's all about SEX, isn't it?...It was JUST sex!" (News flash: There is no such thing as "just" sex.) (when pressed a bit further with simple questions): "You're trying to destroy me! Well, I won't let that happen!" and "You're trying to coerce me. I'm not going to play your game!"

Okay, I feel the need to chime in:1) "It has nothing to do with her this is about you and I" (yeah right) 2) "I tried" (How by walking out the door?" 3) "I've felt this way for a long time"(could have fooled me) Unfortunately, the many more lines I've received have already been used!

Here's more..."I feel like I have not given myself/been given a chance to truly sort through my feelings." "I'm getting professional help." "The reason I didn't take steps was to spare your feelings." "I don't care what you think or what you 'discovered'." "I will always care about you."[This message has been edited by Patient (edited May 18, 1999).]

How about:"I was so stupid. Can you forgive me?" "I don't deserve your love, but I will spend a lifetime making it up to you." "Thank you for sticking beside me thru all this."

More lines:1) "It's like it wasn't ME doing it."2) "He made me feel sexy and desirable."3) "You didn't pay attention to me."Ouch. All of these lines feel like little knives poking into my chest!!------------------ /// Lone Star * ///

How about:"You always loved me more than I loved you anyway" "I don't want your family to hate me." "Your a nice guy, but" "I didn't want to hurt you", but did anyway Maya, I liked yours. Lest we not forget theose who do put effort back into the marriage. Maya, has a good grip on what's important to her and her husband. Hopefully someday many of us here can join the state you are in. Keep going Maya.

the absolute worst:H:"i don't love you any more and am not sure i ever did" ME:"then why did YOU ask me to marry you and why did we get married?!" H:"i wish we never would have"double ouch.... i doubt that i will ever forget these words coming out of his mouth. i can still see them spilling out of his mouth.

he told her "if it feels so right, how can it be wrong" (YUCK)he told me before i found out "i love her like a good friend. like a little sister" (she's 18 years younger)he told me after i found out the first time "i made a mistake. i forgave you, why can't you forgive me" (well DUH, you didn't forgive me or we wouldn't be in this mess)he told me after the second time "i didn't want to hurt you anymore" (he was still seeing her after they 'broke' up and not telling me)AND MY MOST UNFAVORITE "She will always be SPECIAL to me"but i admit i have heard good stuff lately... "it was wrong" "it had to end, to be fair to everyone" and my personal favorite "I love you"------------------ Kellie There's no place that far.

More Quotes'I didn't tell you because I wanted to protect you'. She's just a friend - often heard!! I can't give her up as a friend. She was there for me. There will always be a chemistry between us. I was just smitten. I don't see or talk to her anymore - lies!! I married you because it was the next thing to do. I had no-one else to talk to. I could confide in her. We had similar backgrounds/similarities. She had qualities I liked in her that I wanted in you. She gave me her phone number just to talk as 'friends'. Yeah right.....After a one-night stand.It was just sex. I couldn't get away quick enough. (he shouldn't have been there in the first place). I told her it was just sex and that I was married. (Then why do it). Oh, I forgot to use a condom! She was easy (and he was easier). She tortured me in work by teasing me (he must have been doing it to). CUDDLESCUDDLES

And how's this one:"I hope you understand."

I've never been sorry I married you. This will never happen again, I promise you that. What can I do to make this up to you? After a few outbursts wondering why this compulsion was 20+ yrs: It was my problem, and I had to deal with it my way. This one is a trust builder: I never knew you would be so devastated, or I would have never told you. Classic: I made sure my problem did not take time away from our family. What does my problem have to do with my family? I really don't understand why you will not trust me? I gave you my word.Thanks Chris!!!

Just be patient with me.

Oh I forgot these one's.H said:Just deal with it. Just let it go. We can move on if you can't deal with the pass. Your just being 'paranoid'. (prior to him being found out).CUDDLES

"It was just fun." "I was afraid if I stopped writing she would tell you about us." (It was an internet thing) "I lied because I didn't want to hurt your feelings." "I was just practicing my counseling techniques with her." (in grad school for guidance counseling) "I can't think of one thing I don't like about her." "I didn't think she was pretty at all." "Yes, she was prettier than you and had a better body than you."If I go on I'll just get angry, and I don't want to do that.

Kris: thanks for the laughs. It may be a little sick, but in grad school for guidance counseling??? The irony is great. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

I sure hope he uses this personal experience to guide people the other way!

She's 180 degrees from this today. MIL is still the same. Some are funny but most were heartbreaking. I feel as if I'm on a Journey. You are a destroyer. We're still young enough to find other people. People should not be forced to spend the rest of their life together. Me: "I love You." W: "No you lust me". If its' meant to be, it will happen. Listen to your inner voice. No wonder I fell in love with someone else. It was too late, by then I had already made up my mind. I'm tired of your verbal language. Your not hoping that we'll get back together. You can't tell me who to have sex with. It's not a big deal, People get divorced all the time. The kids will actually be happier. You can't divorce me, I won't sign the papers. I'm getting back at him by not talking to him. OM " when your feeling down, just think of me." OM " He's playing some kind of Psyco game with you".Me: Six months to get the divorce! I can't wait that long! [This message has been edited by fighter (edited May 18, 1999).][This message has been edited by fighter (edited May 21, 1999).]

How about ..."I need a CAT scan because part of my brain must have been missing and NOW I think it's finally growing back..."This is how I feel today.------------------ If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.

Forgot this one although I've heard it many times "I really didn't think you would care!!!"[This message has been edited by wasstubborn (edited May 18, 1999).]

eh hem.... <clearing my throat>How about:"I'm sorry for what I did" "I know I was wrong." "I should have communicated to you better" "I should have listened to what you were saying, and to what you were not..." "I Love you so much" "I'll stop at nothing to regain your trust" "I'm sorry I lied to you" "I'm an idoit" "This will never happen again, give me a chance and I'll prove it"I could go on and on here... But I'll save it all for my wife.Steve------------------ I Love you Heather and I'll prove it!

"I think the reason I wrote her the love letter was because I was really trying to end it." (HUH???) "I SWEAR this will NEVER happen again." "I'm REALLY telling you the truth this time." "Why do the details REALLY matter?" "Me telling you every detail about what happened doesn't ACCOMPLISH anything." "I'm just ready to get BEYOND this and move on with our lives together." "Maybe one day we'll appreciate this because it made me communicate so much better and I understand how important the truth is now.""I SWEAR I haven't had ANY contact with her since I broke it off." "O.K., there was that one phone call from her, but NOTHING ELSE." "O.K., I did call her but she wasn't in, but there is NOTHING ELSE." "O.K., I did go drop something by her office but I didn't see her." "O.K., I did see her, but we didn't talk." "O.K., she did call me on the car phone immediately after I left her office, but it was a short conversation." "REALLY, there's NOTHING else. I SWEAR I've told you everything."AAAAAHHHHHH (scream of frustration from me [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

)

Add these:"I felt like we were soul-mates. We even have the same birthday!" (Naturally, hers was years later than his)"I never stopped loving you." (Hmm... could have fooled me!)"I knew I would always take care of you." (Would have been a little hard to do if he had ended up living with her)"I thought you were happy in your own world." (Gee, it was only "my own" because he was never there!)"She doesn't understand why our 21 years together carry more weight than my six weeks with her."

You and the kids will be better off without me in the house.I've destroyed all your good qualities. (this was actually kind of nice, because for awhile, in his eyes, I hadn't had any good qualities)You're a great wife, a wonderul mother and my best friend. (this while he was packing his bags to leave)

Or perhaps...(Internet thing)"It's only typing"."It's perfectly innocent chat"."Honestly, I have NO idea who she is or how she got my email address/our phone number"."I must have been going through an early "mid-life" crisis"."YOU were the one who told me it was OK to have female friends"."YOU were the one who told me it was OK for spouses to have different interests"."She was lonely and friends help each other"."I never would have followed through with our arranged meeting...It was just exciting planning it."(on having a one-night stand with an escort)"Well, you didn't want to sleep in my bed, so I found someone who did"."It was just sex".And, my all time favourite..."You wouldn't be feeling this way if you only hadn't found out about it".Cheers.

My dear H's quotes:Mostly before discovery (some after): "I don't have feelings of love for you anymore." "I look at you and try to have feelings and don't have any." "The feelings have been dying for 5 years." (When he had the first affair - convenient!) "I don't know that I want you anymore." "I want out, but I feel trapped." (When kicked out he was back in 2 days) "I'm still sweet and loving, just not to you." "I didn't miss you at all, I just missed our son." (When he went on weekend trip with her) "I only felt like a man when we made love." "You have controlled me my whole life." (The OW was the one in control - can you say brainwashed?) "I love you, but I'm in love with her." "I don't know what love is anymore." "I'm mainly staying now because of our son." "I don't know if I want it to work anymore." "We took time together and she listened." "She was just a friend and we got too close." "I've never kissed anyone but you in the past 12 years." (Yeah right!) "I will always love you no matter what happens." "I didn't want to hurt you." (So he had 2 affairs instead - considerate huh!) "I could be more to her and her kids than they have ever had, but she doesn't have it in her to meet my needs." (So who is Daddy to his own kid while he raises hers?) "You are spiteful and vindictive and selfish." (Yet could not name one time I had ever acted this way -- her words in his mouth!) "She has changed, I saw a different side to her." (When talking about how he use to think she was a [censored] - of course it was an act on her part!) "When I make love to you, its not making love it's just sex." (Yet he wanted it twice per day) "I don't know what it means, but I missed you both." (When me and son went out of town) "It has always just been between you and me." (Then why were you with two other women?????)After discovery and things got better: "I love you so much I don't know how I ever thought otherwise." "She is nothing." "I question what I THOUGHT I felt for her." "I want my life, my wife, my son." "You are somebody." "I love you. You may not believe it, but I do." "You are one in a million in bed." "Don't you think that if I had made love to her I would have been thinking of you." "I was so stupid." "You have so much more to offer in every area than she does." "I want, need, and love you." "I am in love with you." "I want you forever." "I love you more than I ever have." "I want to give myself to you completely and us be one (and I have now done that where before I never did)." "I connect with you like I have never connected with anyone else." "I am drawn to you in every way. Spiritually, physically, emotionally." "You are everything I want or need." ------------------ Can we live Happily EverAfter? [This message has been edited by EverAfter (edited May 18, 1999).][This message has been edited by EverAfter (edited May 18, 1999).]

How could I ever forget this one:I was doing it all for you. You are such a great lover, and I was never experienced enough to be good, so I was getting the expereinces to make you happier.grrrrrrrr!!

A few more,"We got married too young!" "I never lived alone" "It's not you, it's me" "I didn't mean to ruin your life" "I'm sorry your sad" long pause "I'm happy!" Me "give me ANY reason, big or small why you don't love me anymore" Her (angrily)"I wasn't ready for this conversation!" "I havent talked to him in a month" "I haven't seen him in weeks" (weeks after moving in with him) "That's kind of crappy you can just do that", after I told her I dropped her off the car insurance & turned off her cell phone.[This message has been edited by Chris (CA123) (edited May 18, 1999).]

How about I have no passion for you. (you think I have passion for you?)I have no balls (neither do I, I'm a woman)I couldn't stop I thought I could have my cake and eat it too! (I hope you get food posioning)I want to work on our marriage, but I want to dance around the issues (Oh really)Can't we just let it die? (Only if you don't lie)I have a fear of the future.I see you as a mother figure. (Stop acting like a child, and I'm not your Mother!)and all of the above quotes from the other poster's. I've heard them all.

Well, my all-time favorite was at one of my wife's lowest points. She had recently discovered that she was pregnant by the OM. In a discussion about "why" I moved back home to take care of her (and why I had left), she said..."It's YOUR fault that I'm pregnant..."

how about: "THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT!"

Had to join in here:-It was pre-destined in a previous life - I don't have a choice!Don't make me laugh!

This thread is killin' me!!! (I especially love the editorial comments from y'all. Priceless! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

)I'll reach back into the archives and add a few more........ My H's first explanation of why he did it: "You wouldn't have sex with me!"When asked why he didn't at least try to tell me how he was feeling: "I didn't know what else to do."When asked how he felt after that "first time" in the car: "Once I crossed the line, I thought my life was over."When asked why he took her to the Holiday Inn Express (LOL): "I figured if I was going to do it, I may as well get something out of it."When I asked him why her: "She offered."When I asked him if the sex with her was worth it: "No."Boy, isn't that nice to hear!!! All this we've had to go through and it wasn't even great sex!!! Arrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhh!!------------------ No one said this was going to be easy.

This was told to me this weekend after 2 years of separation and living our separate lives:ex H: " I'm trying really hard to forget you and our past.'Me: "Forget me? Why don't you acknowledge what you did?'ex H: " I didn't do anything, you threw me out."Me: "Yes, after finding out you were cheating."ex H: "Querida, ever since I've been gone I've never been with anyone."Me: " Then how do you explain OW?ex H: "Yeah, I was with her....But I wasn't WITH her."Me: AhhhhHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! What the hell is that all about!!!!!!!!?? Q ------------------ [This message has been edited by Querida (edited May 18, 1999).]

anyone heard something like:"It's like she had some kind of spell on me" "I'll talk to her if I want to" "We didn't go all the way because she would have gotten pregnant"or from the OW:"You have no right to talk to me like this" "I was enjoying what your husband was doing to me" "Why do you think I am a threat to your kids"but the best is from friends:"First she was acting like a sl**, now she's acting like high-school trash"To bad he fell for it.[This message has been edited by prism (edited May 18, 1999).][This message has been edited by prism (edited May 18, 1999).]

how about:before "negotiations" began (on the road to putting our marriage back together -- i hope):"i feel like you want me to come back BEGGING for your forgiveness and i didn't do anything wrong." there is NOTHING that can be said in rebuttal on that one that won't get me in trouble!but, p.s. -- if you would ask my forgiveness, i would be more than happy to forgive and -- eventually -- forget... but apparently, you did nothing wrong! OH, YEAH.... right! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

~

This is my first post, I could not resist adding some of the words of wisdom from my H.... "I haven't been happy for almost a year" "You should have known something was wrong between us" "She doesn't treat me like a child" "I have not had sex with her" "I slept on her couch" "I told her I couldn't see her anymore" (4 times.) "I had to go over there to explain to her daughter why I wasn't going to be around anymore." "When I am with her I think of you, and when I am with you I think of her" "Maybe you should go out with someone else and then you will see that I am not the right man for you." "I don't know what I want, I am so confused"Plus several of the ones that have already been posted. It is reassuring that my H isn't the only saying these ridiculous things. There must a universal book of quotes for cheaters! Thank God for this website. [This message has been edited by cheyba (edited May 18, 1999).]

"I know how many men she's been with, you can't even imagine." but "She's not a sl**."

You guys, this thread is making me sad.I can only say "I'm sorry" in so many languages, especially when I only know one. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

Sherrilynn, yours reminded me of some more:"get out and join the real world" "you don't have any friends" "I'm telling you the truth, I swear I never did that" "she's telling you the truth"

Maya,Sorry it is making you sad. I know this was not my intent and probably no ne elses either. Just sorta a way to vent, 'ya know.

Guess they all read the same manual: I feel trapped I have no feelings anymore She is someone to hang out with She had nothing to do with this I've felt this way alont time I've been trying (how? when you never talked to me) I need my independece and so on and so forth

While it was going on:I have to get to work early tomorrow I have to work late tonight Don't come in (to office), I'll meet you out front Uh..Wrong number I don't recognize that # (in pager) I'll call them when we get home It's the voice mail #, I'll call later when we get home I'm going to fill up your car…the truck…the other car…the gas can I need new underwear, these don't look very nice I need new socks, these don't look very niceThe night he came home and sat me down on the couch and asked for a divorce-still had no 'proof' of someone else:No there's no one else, I just want to be alone You don't really know the real me I never liked this house, I always wanted a log cabin What do you mean the company will be dissolved? Why can't we keep running the company together? I thought we would always be friends and do things after the divorce What do mean you won't want to see me after we're divorced? Yes I care about you, you are just like a sister to me If you will quit making me talk to you everything will be ok What do you mean you want me to leave? Now? Where will I go? Can I come back tomorrow? Do I have to take all my stuff? You're not being very nice about this. When I suspected but couldn't prove there was someone else-things I said to him:How many times have YOU done it this year? I know she's in there and I'm coming in (to your office)-he said 'that's why I don't like you any more' Hurry you'll be late for work, and you don't want to keep anyone waiting You either agree to go see a counselor or a lawyer...you pick I'm moving out because the house is to big for me to keep up by myself In case you ask me to move back in, should I buy a King size bed since we already have a queen? After I found out for sure there was someone else things he said:I didn't tell you because it was just a Happy New Years kiss (explanation of first kiss) I couldn't tell her I didn't like it because she ran out of the office (explanation of second kiss) I didn't immediately kiss her back-- I thought about it for a while (for 2 whole days) No, I never touched her there or there or there…. Her personality is what attracted me...most It will never happen again, now that I know what it feels like I never really thought about her when I was with you, just when the pager went off (which was constantly!) I was never sad when I wasn't with her, I just looked forward to seeing her I don't know where we were going to live, I didn't think that far ahead I tried to end it lots of times, but I would see her every morning and it would start all over again I saw her today, I looked at her really hard, and I didn't feel a thing for herThings he says NOW:I don't know what I was thinking That wasn't the real me I don't know who that was Do we have to talk about that--ok? and I love you [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

now that was powerful and meaningful to me. all those quotes are way too familiar.

I love you but I am "In love" with him He makes me laugh I finally found someone to talk to and I am not about to let him go This is not about my affair it is between us You are just putting all the blame on him so you don't have to work on you Our son likes me more She doesn't trust me I am irresponsible He is fun to be with I don't want to hurt you anymore... (but she is continuing the affair) I haven't had sex but I want to (when she first told me) It just happened I was attracted to him the moment I saw him We have such chemistry She doesn't have any interests with me 3 years without hearing "I love you"

Hi Chris, This is a great thread.....My favorite from my H was that he cared about me so much that he and the OW would babysit for me so that I could date and find someone else...(he would hate for me to be alone)....what a guy!!! I know this is hard on Maya to read all of this but it sure helps to know how common these words are.....it saved my sanity more than once!! Lu

Hang in there Maya, [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

Chris, It's cheering me up and making me laugh (which I sorely need right now!!). I think all our spouses read the same book on WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE CHEATING -- BEFORE AND AFTER. You know I'm a English major; I might just go in with Sherrilyn, steal all your great posts and write my GREAT NOVEL I've been planning to write on JUST THIS TOPIC [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

!! Here's today's favorite: "I can't believe you're kicking me out. Thanks for telling me right before my trial. Now, I have to pull myself together or my client will go to jail for 30 days."

Well Sis, You know it's your fault. Your husband went to law school and has all this experience as a great lawyer, has had affairs. His client committed the crime but it is your fault. : ) Tell your husband to go in lieu of his client.

I've heard many of the ones above, but add:"I need my space" "I don't need to read about affairs -- I know all about it because I'm having one" (when I asked him to read SAA) "The kids will be better off if they're not raised in an unhappy household" (wasn't unhappy until Dec. 1998!) "She's my best friend" "She only wants what's best for me" "You are controlling and manipulative" "I've changed" "We can still be friends. We can still care about each other"

Wow. A lot of desparate attempts at rationalization, huh?Can I vote on "Most Illogical Quote"? Gotta be K's wife saying: "It's YOUR fault that I'm pregnant...".HUH??? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

oh wow what a thread this one is did anyone have the all time favourite"why cant you just forget it"or "I never loved her it was just lust" or "they are ONLY phonecalls" or "it was really average, I hated it"..then why go back for more!!! or "he says...she wouldnt give up and she says..he kept ringing me up"

I forgot these two:"It was an accident" (SHE asked his roommate to go sleep somewhere else so that she could sleep with the OM)"We just tried" [intercourse] (Married since 20 years w. 2 children. All those years: didn't she have a clue???)

More from CuddlesI could confide in her.She didn't make any judgements.She didn't want anything in return (yeah, just you).I couldn't see us with a future.I was going to leave you a week before Christmas.We weren't getting on for years.After discovery:I'm so in love with you.I can see the future clearly now.On my meeting her he wanted to put it straight in his head who was his 'friend' and who was his 'wife'. (The one wearing his wedding ring).I,m so happy.I don't need her now that I have you back.Just get over it.Just deal with it.Let it go.We can't move on if you keep bringing up the pass.God, your so good in bed.I want you, love you, need you.She means nothing to me, OK she's just a friend, Ok we talked a lot, I swear I've never phoned me, OK just a few times (after her number was on my bill). Ok I confided in her, OK we got to close, OK we have similiar outlooks, OK I'm attracted to her, OK there will always be a chemistry there, OK I won't talk to her again, BUT I won't give her up as a FRIEND!!ANDI want you to have sex with someone else because I have been bad, just to experience it. (I've only slept with my H, we were childhood sweethearts).CUDDLES[This message has been edited by Cuddles (edited May 19, 1999).]

How about this one, at the begining when he agreed to end the affair and ended up not doing it: "You are the one who wants me to end it, not me, so again I'm doing what you want instead of what i want!" And a couple of days after: "You managed to destroy our marriage, and now you're destroying this beautifull relation I had with her!" And when in the rebuilding stage: "Did I really say that to you?" "Can I pledge insanity" Kat

My all time favorite from my lawyer spouse after it was over and one of us happens to make a comment about it; "oh yeah, the alleged ...."

During the Horrible partI think divorce is the best thing for us. Yes I love her because I have more fun with her. I have not been happy in a long time. I need my space. No, we did not sleep together (Lie!).Now...the wonderful part: You re the woman of my dreams. I have never been happier. You're gorgeous. I don't think we will ever get divorced. I want to find ways to make you happier. It makes me happy to see you happy.------------------ You will be stronger because of this.

First time post. This forum has saved my sanity. Here's mine:After an hour of lame denial confronted with plenty of evidence. "Well now if I tell you the truth, you won't believe me." (Yes, it would be easier if you hadn't denied, denied, denied. Actually the truth wasn't as bad as I imagined, but it did take me months to believe. Without the initial lies, it would have been easier.Explanation of a receipt for jewelry which I did not receive. (And he returned without giving OW) "Well it could have been for you. But would you have really wanted it?""She asked for it, just like you asked for a Cappuccino maker for Christmas."OW When he wouldn't sleep with her. "This isn't the usual responce I get from men."H on her character. "She was kind of a potty mouth...and she smoked and drank too much. I was really surprised and did not find her appealing." "She had many affairs with married men. I told her that was no way to live." (The pot calling the kettle black)H on several weeks of continued phone contact after breaking it off. "I called to make sure she still wasn't crazy."His feelings for her. "Compassion. She is just one of those people that nothing goes right." (Hmm..choices?)Unmet needs in our marriage. "I don't think we "do it" as much as my friends, have you read any articles on how often is average?" Anything besides not enough sex? "yeah, you don't turn off the lights after you leave the room, even though I have continually coached you...and you still do not close the vertical blinds correctly." Anything else? "No, can't think of anything."What if I dated? "That's ridiculous. You would never do anything like this. I can't even imagine how I would feel because that would be impossible." (I think he's right, but that's how I felt about HIM)Finally, "I'm so sorry." "I can't believe I did this." "There is zero percent chance of this happening again." "I will loave you for the rest of my life." ------------------ Faith, Hope, Love Remain, but the greatest of these is Love. 1 Corinthians 13:13

Faith Hope Love I think you have my H. I've been told many times since the affair what the average number a week is!!! Now he can't keep up with me! Since the affair my favorite is "I said a lot of stupid things didn't I?"

wasstubborn He can hardly keep up with me either, but he is more than willing to try! I almost forgot another favorite:When I said "How can I believe anything you say now that I know you can lie to me" Answer "You CAN believe me, I only lie about this."Now that's comforting.

Just bringing this up to top for Katana and anybody else new.[This message has been edited by Faith Hope Love (edited June 08, 1999).]

A few more good ones [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

!"You only bought wheat bread, not white bread" "You only bought Crest, not Colgate" "You only bought 1% milk, not 2%" "When I wanted to go for a walk, you were tired, but when you wanted to go for a walk, we HAD to" - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Prayers & God Bless! Chris[This message has been edited by Chris (CA123) (edited June 08, 1999).]

F,H,L, So glad you bought this back up my personal favorites have always been--I know you told me you appricated me everyday, I just didn't feel it ( like I did) when asked why if he loved me did he say he never had-- I was trying to make you hate me,so you wouldn't hurt so bad (oh yes tell me our lives together was all lies that will make the hurt stop.) It wasn't supposed to hurt you it was just innocent illecit kinky sex (ok ) you were never supposed to know (duh ) It felt good to have two women want me I wasn't going to leave you for her I was just going to keep having sex with her. the sex wasn't that good, I wanted to try it without her husband around for a change.now it's can't you just let it go I love you and i want everything to go back like it was ------------------ Deb ------------------------ I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance- His Garthness Garth Brooks - The Dance[This message has been edited by not again (edited June 08, 1999).]

"I'm sick, I need help." "I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to hurt you" (what do you think it did to me to hear it from "her") "I was protecting my family" "She's crazy" "I Love you, I never loved her" "She seduced me" "It will never happen again" "I would never trade you for her" "It was never making love, it was scr**ing" "Can't you just forget it all?" "Why did you have to open the package?" "I felt trapped"I have heard so many more. Donna

"I'm sorry if I hurt you." (What do you mean "if"?!?!?!!!)"I wanted to leave you ten or twelve years ago." (So why didn't you and save me 10-12 years of heartache?!?!)"It felt so good to be with someone who feels the same way I do." (What a wonderful foundation for a life together!!)Remarks in parentheses are my replies.....

I forgot to charge my cell phone.You are paranoid. You need to go to the doctor, and get some help for your problem.I am just tapering off. Must be my age.I don't know why she won't look you in the eye. She's got a problem.What do you think I am, stupid?Geez, why can't we just live? Why do you have to make an issue about everything.I'm gonna have it out with (secretary) right now. How unprofessional to tell you she didn't know where I was. She isn't supposed to tell anybody anything. How unprofessional. She doesn't know what she's talking about. Never did.Why don't you just go and spend some quality time with your family?I think we need to separate our money. That is my company truck. You aren't allowed in it.I don't know. I don't know. What? Are you crazy?Keep it up and you are going to a mental hospital and lose our son.

(All these quotes are about the OW) How about, "I know eveyone says she has slept around with a lot of men, but I believe her when she says it has only been a few.."A few days later, "Well, maybe she lied to me, but she was probably just afraid I would think badly of her if I knew the truth.." (Not to mention exposing both of us to STDs.) "It does not really matter...I still think she is a wonderful person on the inside and I want to be with her to protect her. She only sleeps around because she is looking for love. She will be different if she and I are together."A few days later, "Well, I know she would never be faithful to me, but I love her so much, I would forgive her and we could be happy""She promises she always always always uses a condom with her husband. She only has unprotected sex with me" (Why? Why would you have protected sex with your husband and not with someone you are having an illicit relationship with?)Gee whiz

The other day I showed this thread to my H and he read my post on it. I like what I'm hearing now: "Did I really say that?"

Here's one my H. told me the OW said to him--I've never had to wait this long to do it with anyone else before...Here's a few the OW's fiance said to my H.--She never, ever goes anywhere without me. We are always together so I don't see how you 2 were doing it. Why did I think she would be faithful to me? I started seeing her while she was married to someone else. Once a cheater, always a cheater, I guess she'll always be a cheater Of course the last one really hit home, since my H. and I are really working on rebuilding our relationship and I *think* we both realize that we don't want that one to come true for us.[This message has been edited by mdj (edited June 08, 1999).]

ME: You'll never forgive me I hate myself I want to die I thought you hated meMy Ex: I'll forgive you, but that doesn't mean I'll stay with you. Good! Fine! Just don't do it in my apartment. How could you think that?

Well, I am glad you are all "venting" and "cheering up". I feel it is at the expense of a very painful experience we are all in. I have been here for quite awhile and realize I do NOT fit in. I have been the one trying so hard to put my life back together to try to undo some of the hurt and damage I have caused. I had many many years of rejection, pain etc.. and funny, I said many of those things often before I had an affair and they werent "lines" then. They were valid, all of a sudden they arent because I sinned. You are all very smug, self righteous martyrs, and I pray to God your spouses do NOT come to this thread and see them being laughed at and mocked. Tell me, is this part of plan a or plan b. Bye. I think I might do better in the world after all. You just reminded me of why I wanted out of my marriage. People like you in my church. BYE. Oh PS - If I had seen my husbands post in here I would be heading IMMEDIATELY to the attorney.

wow ... sounds like we are all married to the same people:"I don't feel that way about you anymore" (about why he wouldn't let me touch him)(in answer to the question: 'when was it you stopped being in love with me - before or after you started screwing around with her?') "Around the same time" (to which I replied: 'really, that oughtta tell you something, don't you think?')(after telling me all of the faults I had that made it impossible to live with me any longer and which I immediately addressed and eliminated) "It's not really you, it's me.""I don't want to be responsible" "I want to come and go as I please" "She's fun"And my most favorite of all so far, after me telling him he didn't communicate well with me and that he owed me the opportunity for us to work on our relationship:"Oh - so, because I don't communicate well I have to suffer?"But, actually, it's a tie between that one and this one, spoken after I asked for six months to work on our marriage together: "I'm too old to waste six months." (he was 33 at the time - I was 39).terri