Excellent article. My question to all of you is this: my children are older, how will their fathers affair affect them? The youngest boy is a senior in high school, older boy is away at school and daughter is living out of the home. I still have great concerns especially for my sons. I feel like they will still tend to pattern themselves after their father. What can I do to prevent this if and when they learn about the affair? Should telling them be avoided, if possible, even if he leaves? I feel so humiliated, he has not ended the affair and I am giving him an ultimatum next weekend. I also do not want to become bitter towards him.
<p>Thank you,
<br>Susie
I found the article to be both interesting and informative. My sons witnessed their father having an affair when we were together. There were many times he would take the boys with him when he went to see this woman( I would be at work). At the time, my sons were 6 and 3. They never said anything to me until I finally left him. My ex and his girlfriend, who is also married, had been carrying on for 2 years before I found out. This entire time, my boys were being subjected to seeing their dad kiss and hug another woman. After I found out about this affair, I left my husband. We tried reconciling but he did not want to give up his girlfriend. We have been divorced for 3 years now and I am remarried. My husband is a wonderful man who is totally against infidelity...he would never cheat on me.My boys love him dearly and finally have a strong male role model, however, my ex is still involved with the married woman and everytime my sons go to visit their dad, they get subjected to seeing them together. It is teaching the opposite of what I am teaching them. It is so frustrating because when they return from a visit, they are in terrible moods, have angry outbursts, talk disrepectful to me. They have told me that their dad repeatedly asks if they want him to marry Carol. They realize what broke the marriage apart and their dad puts them in this position. I have spoken to my ex several times about this. He just blows it off. I am so worried at what this will do to my boys. They have a stepfather who loves them but I know they worry he will cheat on me too. They are now 11 and 8. I just don't know what to do about this. Any suggestions?