20 years ago I discovered the Personals - I was single, and it was a great way to meet people, and experiment with the dating game (totally honestly as the other person knew you were doing it). I probably met about 30 or more men over the years this way - and in all but a few cases, thought they were pretty nice people.

So today out of curiousity, I picked up one of the local free publications and flipped to the Personals. WHAT A SHOCK! Every one of the ads was for sexual encounters, many being advertised by married people looking for something on the side, and most claiming they wanted no strings attached.

Further on in the paper was another - much smaller - section that also had Personal ads that were more about dating than liasons. But even those were pretty suggestive. Not the scene I remember at all!

Obviously not the way to go this time around!

The first man I dated after my divorce was one I met as the result of a personal ad I placed. And there was nothing risque about my ad.

Many of the men who responded were weirdos. Sounded desperate. Were boring sounding. (My ad had a voice mailbox where they could leave me messages and I responded only to the ones who sounded reasonable. That meant I responded to only a handful.)

The guy I dated was ok but he decided he didn't want to see me any more. I prefer to think it is because he didn't want a woman who didn't mind thinking and telling him what she thought. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Was this recently?

When I used these ads - many years ago - I picked things I wanted to do, placed ads looking for people with those interests and went from there. I placed several ads - don't remember all the topics anymore, but one was to go skiing. Things I didn't really want to do alone.

I am using a few internet dating sites. I'm careful about the sites I choose, because some are much more blatantly sexual than others. Some offer greater security procedures than others.

I have followed the recommended safety procedures. I e-mail or they do...IM chat...talk on the phone...and meet in a public place with my own transportation. I let a friend know when and where and what time I'm going. Yes, there are sick people, liars, phonies, out there. But, you never know for sure when you meet most people for the first time if they're being truthful.

I'm often surprised or offended by some of the ads. I was emailed by one guy asking if I spanked men!!! I eventually just learned to laugh at those kind of contacts and not take it personally. I would have reported them to the site "owners" if they tried to continue contact. I have seen some profiles removed immediately from sites for violation of proper "behavior". Usually the person shows a pattern of violation.

I will give these folks credit. At least they're up front about their wants, desires, etc.!! I'd rather have them be open about it than deceitful. I can choose whether or not to look at their ads.