I have a custody hearing today. Please pray for me. Anyone that knows my story knows that my XH does not want what is best for our DD. He is selfish and we always had to fit in his life. I know that my DD needs him and I have given time, but he wants much more. Please pray that he gets only what I have offered. I could also use prayers that I remain calm without tears. I have endured so much, I just want to hold my head high and make it thru this too. Thanks for the prayers and support.

I'm with ya hon!! I have my own hearing coming up real soon for our DD and it's been the hardest thing I've gone through so far! I was just sitting here working on my newest proposal and denying his latest.

You and your daughter are in my thoughts and prayers today!!

Hugs
Alluring

We actually worked it out. Not great, but I feel ok with it. I lost, but I won. I guess it is a give/take thing. Hopefully with something court order, life will get easier. I am finally done with him. I only need to see him when he picks up DD and respond to things that only involve her.

It's a new day and I'm starting over without him holding anything over me. That feels great.

Alluring,
Goodluck to you. It is so stressful. Let us know when it is, because I do believe that prayers work.

So you got custody then??

I have heard it's relatively hard for a father to get a daughter for custody when there are no pressing issues present. So I'm hoping and praying that is true.

He was not going for full custody. First of all he didn't want it and second he knew that he would never get it. Most areas still favor the mother unless she is unfit.
He wasn't even fighting me for joint, although I wasn't sure of that going in. He wanted a more liberal vistation schedule. It's not that I don't think DD needs to see her dad, but his behavior is often inappropriate and I didn't want him to have too many overnights. She has no schedule and comes home tired and miserable. I was fighting so when she starts school weekday overnights would not happen. So I lost in the way that he gets an extra 6 overnights a month, not including his everyother weekend. The good news is that it stops when she starts k-garten and he has to return her at 7:45 the next morning. I'm thinking that early am drop off is going to get old to him.

My advice is to document everything. I kept a calendar of all the times he spent with her, every fight we had, everything that could be helpful. Thank goodness I didn't have to pull it out, but my attorney was ready.

We could have settle out of court if he would have communicate with me better. i would do my best to try to get it settled before court. I don't know what he would of got if we did go before the hearing officer. My attorney suggested I accept the deal and change it slightly.

"he has to return her at 7:45 the next morning. "
You may regret this if you begin dating (or need to travel for business).
Morning drop off is usually to school or day care, and not to the other parent. Too many transitions become difficult for the child (and do you really want to see your spouse that frequently?

It sounds like your custody is 2/3 & 1/3 like mine. I'm guessing he gets 5 nights every two weeks from what you wrote above. Good luck. I really look forward to my nights off, and my mornings off where I can get stuff done around the house or make it to work on time.

On the Mondays that he has her, his mom watches her in the AM at his house while I am at work. He will need to return her to me in the summers since I am a teacher and have summers off. When she is school age, she will be returned to me and then I can drive her to school since she will be in the same building as me. On Wed's AM he will return her to my house so my mom can watch her. I do look forward to knowing that I dont' have to be home on Tues evenings. Dating would be nice, if I could find the guy. I am just relieved that there will be no overnights during the school years.

As for seeing my X, I have grown so much. It doesnt' bother me. I don't even talk to him unless it has to do with DD. It really bothers him and I find it funny. I feel such a relief now that it is settled in court and we both know our rights.