what to do now? - Marriage Builders® Forums

I was recenlty married to woman in the military, I am also in the military, after a very short marrigage she cheated and left me etc etc etc. I cannot stop thinking about her and I am not sure what I need to do with myself to forget her, I don't mean to brag but i get beautiful women obviously showing signs of attraction towards me and I just do not want to do anything about it. I know I need to meet other girls to move on but I am stuck on my ex wife...my question is what do i need to do to move on??

thank you in advance

James

James, welcome to MB. First, you just said you were “recently” married. Your wife cheated on you and your marriage ended. These are emotionally traumatic events that take time to get over. It doesn’t happen overnight. It may not happen in a year. If you are still stuck after two years, counseling may be a good idea.

But, a lot of people here can tell you from experience, dating doesn’t work well if you aren’t over your ex. It can actually make you feel more lonely and sad. Who needs that? You can also lead someone on, and then, you feel guilty.

You are showing a lot of maturity and wisdom when you don’t take these women up on their advances. Kudos to you.

Meanwhile, focus on doing stuff you wanted to do, but couldn’t. You could read some books on handling divorce…

Anyway, thank you for your service. My family and I appreciate you and what you do to keep us safe.

James,

How long were you married? How long have you two been separated?

It may be a little too soon to even 'think' about getting involved with other women no matter how beautiful. There is a certain grieving period that you must go through in order to get over your ex.

It will take a little while but look at this as an opportunity to do things you have always wanted to do.

Thanks for the replies. It is extremely frustrating because my exwife is over it and has a boyfriend etc. We got married in March of this year, she cheated and left me in November. I think it is more frustrating because I am in another country and there isn't much I can do from here.

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Thanks for the replies. It is extremely frustrating because my exwife is over it and has a boyfriend etc. We got married in March of this year, she cheated and left me in November. I think it is more frustrating because I am in another country and there isn't much I can do from here.

Here is his original post from the Infidelity forum dated 10/23/07

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please bare with me for this, I really would appreciate any help.

My wife and I are both 22 years old we got married in May 07, we had only known each other for 2 months prior to that. We got married so soon because we both felt a very real connection with each other, we figured that must be the thing called love. We are both in the military and when we met I already was on my way to Korea in a few months. I put off going to Korea as long as possible and I left about 2 months after we got married. My wife convinced me she felt the same way, and always will. We made plans on when we want to have children and she told me so many times that she is going to have my children and she will never leave me or cheat.

My wife and I had an amazing relationship, I have never loved any woman the way I love her. However last week, a few months after I had to leave her, she tells me on the telephone that she met a guy at a bar and went home with him, had a one night stand. I have forgiven her and she knows that I have however she is acting different when I call. When I ask her what she is doing to come to Korea to join me she does not answer.

Before she told me about her one night stand she was making efforts every day to get sent to Korea to be with me. I ask her about this and she says she just needs to figure things out...this concerns me greatly because if she does not get sent to Korea soon she will be sent to Iraq for 15 months. I feel the only way I can make this marriage work is if I am together with my wife very soon.

Can anyone give me any advice?? I really cannot handle the thought of my wife leaving me. I thank you in advance!!!

James it wouldn't be emotionally healthy for you to get into a rebound relationship. As hard as it will be to do....you need to focus on your career and heal yourself before you think of dating anyone.

Best Wishes