Ha ha ha ha haaaa! You won't believe what happened....

some random guy in the Whole Foods store asked for my phone number. I've gotten to where I just chit chat away with anybody pretty much anywhere. This guy was really tall, and I tried to resist but I finally asked him how tall he was. He said 4'30" and seemed impressed that I could figure out his height.

I did not tell him that I have an insane ex-husband, five kids, and I'm probably at least 10 years older than he is. It felt good anyway.

I love it.

So..... did you give the 6'8" guy your number????????


I had to think on that one for a minute \


SC

You must have been tired when you posted, because 4'30" is 6'6". And, yeah, I did give him my number. I'm not sure what I'll do if he actually calls, though. Heck, it was the first time in nearly 30 years that a man asked for my phone number because he thought I was cute.

My dh is 6'3. He has a brother that is 6'8.

That is way cool...whether he calls or not! Nice to be noticed.

Kirby, I lurk more than I post, but this post made me so happy for you!!!! So nice to be noticed.

Congrats.

Thanks, Migs.

By the way, the guy DID call. He asked me to do something tonight, but I told him that I needed more notice than that. And I told him how many kids I have. He probably won't call again. The whole episode makes me smile, though.

Kurt Warner the quarteback went to pick up his date (first date) and the woman's babysitter hadn't showed. Her child had special needs. Undeterred, Kurt convinced her to bring the kid along on the first date and she did.

I believe they are still married today.

opt

Opt, I have FIVE children. I told this guy that I was recently divorced and he said he'd never been married. And I suspect he is a lot younger than I am. I'm really not interested. It's just so flattering to be noticed, ya' know?

Nah, that's itistoughlove. I just have a buncha' kids. Which means five.

Happy New Year, y'all!

I'm hanging with my buncha' kids. The year 2010 was the worst year of my life. This year was much better despite all the drama with Himself. I'm expecting 2012 to be even better.

Thanks for all the support you all have provided this year!

Kirby, what you were suppose to say is " Love to meet you some where for ______ fill that in where you want a coffee or dinner..... That way you can tell him in person that you have 5 kids, then as the shock of that is settling in on him, you can add only 2 of them are still in high school while you flash your baby blues at him......

By the way I'm claiming jet lag on my math issues

SC, you get to claim jet lag. This time.

The reason I didn't tell the guy I wanted to meet him for _____ is because I didn't really want to. He seemed way too young for me.

I think I need to flash the baby blues at men who are just a little more mature. It's just harder to figure out people's ages as you get older.

Hey, I'm a dude so, this may be overstepping my bounds but, I would have definitely gone out with that guy, at least once. I'm a firm believer that it is important to get out there and see what you like and don't like about certain dating partners. That way, when the right one comes along, you'll know. After all, the worst that could happen is that he buys you a free dinner:-)

See, I'm not alone

SC

Nah, the worst that could happen is that he could be an axe murderer.

That's a joke. I have met lots of women that I initially "met" on the internet through a forum. We always kidded around about whether or not any of us were axe murderers and at one weekend meetup some of them did a skit about it.

I would be pretty cautious about meeting someone alone if I didn't know them very well. I don't think this guy was dangerous, but I don't know for certain.

One reason I turned him down is because he did not ask me out to dinner at some point in the next day or two. Instead he asked me to meet him immediately at a bar or to go to a party where there would be a hot tub. Sounded kinda' sketchy to me.

Oh, I see. Your actions make sense, then. I was just thinking how I would feel if I mustered the courage to ask a woman out randomly at a grocery store but got rejected. Wow, some guys are just straight slime balls!

If I was remotely interested, I would have told him I couldn't that night but what about ___ night? That way he'd know you're interested and not just brushing him off. And no need to tell him you have five kids right away, at least have one date first...if you pique his interest, he'll be back. BTW, my late husband was one of ELEVEN kids and his mom got asked out! Ya never know!

Eh, I have the guy's phone number and he said he liked to play pool. I might call him and ask him if he wants to do that. I'm just not interested in dating him. From the little bit of conversation we had on the phone, I could figure that out. I don't think he's a slimeball or anything, I just think we don't have much in common.

Lonely...bored on a Sunday night.

Not yet lonely enough to call the Really Tall Dude, though.

What are y'all doin' tonight?

My tall dude, aka dh, has left to go out of town to work. Ds and I are joining him there tomorrow night to spend a couple of nights in the apt with him. So tonight we did an hours worth of grammar--much to ds's irritation.

Tell him that's all part of it when you get to go out of town. When I homeschooled my kids we went lots of interesting places due to their father's work trips. There's always something new and interesting to learn in a new town.

I know. I love our freedom. Of course part of what he had to do tonight is because he didn't finish it last week as assigned.

You could come to my place and help pack boxes and clean house

By the way T- minus 12:30hrs and counting

SC

It's too far this time of night. I would have to be back to take the kids to school in the morning. If I left now I'd have....about 4 hours to work?? And I need my beauty sleep.

Awesome. I will be glad for you that the legal part is over.

Kirby,

Likely excuse ........ of course I must not be getting much done if I'm typing this out

SW,

Thanks, it has been a long road for sure, pretty excited about going down a different one for a change.

SC, you probably need YOUR beauty sleep if you have to be in court tomorrow.

Yep, got to be ready for my 1 minute in front the judge.

More like 5 minutes. At least that's what mine was like.

But I had to get dressed up and show up downtown and find a parking place, etc. Wait around for court to start. Wait for my lawyer to show because she had other cases that day. Took a couple of hours altogether.

I think they have a real trail set for the day and we are 1st before it starts, so should be quick...... so my lawyer says.

Good luck!

I have laryngitis. When I whisper at the people, they start whispering back. It's kind of funny.

That is too funny!

I seem to be back to (mostly) normal today.

I was throwing myself a big ol' pity party last night because I had to stay home from my DivorceCare group. We usually have a lot of fun. But I ended up in a long Facebook chat with a friend which cheered me right up.

Mmmmmmmmm
This calls for comfort food.
Make mine mashed 'taters with loads of real butter and sea salt.

I had to go to court with my cousin(who is blind) as my lawyer because of a car accident...rear ended on the freeway.

When we met with the prosecutor, he was leaning on his cane and talking to her. She was so uncomfortable that she answered all his questions while facing me. He noticed. He told me that sometimes when people find out he is blind, they talk LOUDER to him.

We both had a good laugh about it...funny how people respond to things like these.

This happened to me. Sort of. One of our salesmen found out I was divorced and he wants to go out when he's in town. I told him generally during the week I have my kids so it would be impossible. He said I don't mind coming over to your house and bringing a pizza. I think that's special and I doubt you would find many men like this but I don't want to expose my kids to any man unless I'm considering an LT relationship.

I think it's okay if you're just friends, kids can learn you can have friends of both sexes. But that doesn't generally work if they're hoping for something more and you can't know that unless they're authentic and honest.

I agree that kids can learn about friends of both sexes. I just didn't want to confuse them right now. Ex remarried 1.5 weeks after our divorce was final. Oldest (11) struggled with her emotions for a long time. I don't want to add to her stress at this point. And Lawd knows I don't really know what I want anyway so ... lol

Do y'all really think men and women can be just friends?? I think it's very, very rare. For instance, I can be friends with a man who is much younger or much older because I see them as a father figure or as a pseudo son. Other than that, I think it's not really possible.

Right now, I would say that I have some male friends, but I am open to it only because I'm single and they are either divorced or so far into the divorce process that there seems to be no hope of reconciliation. Even so, I'm pretty careful around the ones who are still married--no private conversations or anything like that. If I were married, these friendships would end.

I think that lots of men and women think they can be just friends with someone who is not very attractive because THEY aren't attracted to that person. That attitude discounts the feelings of the less attractive person who wants something more from the friendship. My experience has been that when a man and a woman say they are friends, one of them would like something more.

Prissanna, since your ex remarried so quickly after the divorce, I think that you need to avoid bringing other men around your kids unless you're pretty sure that it would lead to something permanent.

Kirby, I'm surprised to hear you say this after being on MB for so long. So far into the divorce process that there seems to be no hope of reconciliation? Things can change on a dime. My divorce was days away from finalization when I dismissed it completely, even though I had been through so much trauma leading right up to that day. A person who is still not yet divorced, is still not yet divorced. Even if the divorce finalizes, there is still a period of adjustment. Being almost divorced is still married. Why put yourself into the equation of another person's marriage? Until that person is divorced, they are not available. Really.

Please rethink this.

When I say friends, I mean that I have conversations in a group setting. At DivorceCare. I speak when I see these men at church in the Singles Sunday School class. That's as far as it goes. There is no private intimate communication. I feel friendship/empathy towards them because of what they are going through with their WWs. If they are able to restore their marriages, I will be happy for them. I am not putting myself in the middle of anyone's marriage.

When I was married I was very careful to avoid friendships with other men. Now that I am single, I am very careful about how I relate to married men.

Editing to add this: In the interests of being totally open and honest, I did privately tell a married man that I was praying for him when he was in mediation for his divorce.

Is there no way to send PM's here? I wanted to PM you Kirby. Your wisdom just speaks to me.

ETA: I had thought about asking a guy friend to go to the movies or something. He had mentioned to me that he wanted a girl friend to do these things with around here (he's dating someone several hours away) but I'm afraid that I might fall for him or something. I don't need any more complications. I think I'm in a NEEDY stage right now and I need to get out of that and find myself.

Prissanna, PMs are disabled. I think there's some way to notify the moderators if you want to contact someone off the boards, but I'm not quite sure how it works.

Right now, you need to find a FEMALE friend to go to the movies or something. Yes, you are feeling needy. And you really don't want to get involved with some dude who wants to have a long-distance relationship AND a local girlfriend. If he mentions that to you again, tell him that he shouldn't cheat and if he's lonely he should get together with the guys.

He did say that him and his 'friend' were OK with dating other ppl. I suppose I would feel safe with him and I apparently need some male interaction. I went out with a girlfriend last night just to get out of the house. I had fun but she's married and our conversation migrated to relationships and junk like that.

I think I need some closure on this. I do appreciate your taking the time to chat with me. I feel like an idiot most of the time.

I didn't say you were putting yourself in the "middle" of someone's marriage, but in the equation. But thanks for clarifying, I really don't believe you are that kind of person. I just know how I felt when single women friends were supporting my husband, but then again HE was the wayward. I guess I was projecting a bit. Hope I didn't offend you.

Not at all. I don't ever want to be a factor in someone else's marriage, so it's good for me to think these things through.

I said I thought a man and woman could just be friends, I NEVER said it was okay to put yourself into the middle of anyone's marriage!! I've been cheated on, I know how it feels, I've never come between anyone in my life and would never advocate that and I of all people know how setting the stage can lead to something, my XH certainly did that to me.

Be that said, I have several male friends. I'm not interested in dating and I've made that clear.

If you have little children that you think might get confused by having male friends, then use your best judgment in their best interest. I've just found that sometimes it helps to have a man that can work on your lawnmower and you can fix him dinner. If you all think there's something wrong with that, then by all means, live how you deem best.

Just had to add to this conversation that the above is exactly what the OW said to my H at the beginning of their friendship. She would NEVER become the OW, not after what her WH did to her! Except that she first became friends with my H while deployed, which led to meeting ENs, which led to adultery, which led to heartbreak.

Just a warning. It's best to steer completely clear of male friendships with the married. Safer...for all involved.

Just curious, WHY, if I say, you can have male friends, would ANYONE assume they are MARRIED?! If I said I had a date, would anyone here jump to the conclusion they're married? I don't get that.

I am single, my male friends are single, I'm not interested in dating, anyone who has read my posts on here the last few years KNOWS I would never interject myself into someone else's marriage, good grief! PLEASE don't jump to wrong assumptions here, it's offensive!

Sorry, no offense intended at all. I don't know you. The words you said simply reminded me of the OW's words to my H and how their will power or conviction didn't work out too well for the three of us.

I certainly wish she had stuck to single male friends, as you are. For that matter, I wish my H had stuck to male friends, too.

I thought I'd come back and put something on my after divorce thread, but not much of anything is happening. I've made the intellectual decision to wait until my divorce has been final for a year before I start dating. But, I'm getting impatient about it.

Oh the plus side, I've lost enough weight that none of my clothes fit unless I bought them within the last couple of months. It's past time to de-clutter the closet.

It is probably because you have the marriage builders information and will not settle for anything less. I have been divorced for almost 3 years and haven't dated yet but ready to test the waters.

Yay for your clothes not fitting! So proud of you!

You don't have much longer to wait to date. Keep your head up girl. You have helped me so much. I want to read GREAT things about you when you start dating. :-)

Thanks, priss!

Good job on loosing the weight!
As for de-cluttering, I just did that with my closet. A good book (hopefully the mods won't erase this) is Declutter )our Life in a Week!

Cleaning out the clothes closet is the first item!
And a haircut....for men and women is absolutely essential!

Kirby,

My wife and I share the email listed below in my signature line. When and if you get the chance...can you email us?

Mr. Wondering

Time to revive my thread.

Help.

I'm the social secretary for my divorce group. I keep an email list and send out reminders and pass along prayer requests, etc. I'm the keeper of the birthday list and organize going out for coffee or dinner after our meetings.

Tonight I got an email from a man in the divorce group. He wanted to let me know that he thinks of me often. He felt he needed to "say his peace."

This poor guy is not for me. I need to let him down gently. Any advice?

Matter of fact and to the point.

Ugh. It is hard I know.

Done. Gentle, but direct. I hope he'll be okay. And I hope he will see that I'm not the right person for him.

Time to update my thread.

So, there was a guy in my divorce group that I was somewhat interested in, and he was giving off some indicators of interest--eye contact, one-on-one conversations, etc. But a week and a half ago at divorce group he said some MORE stuff that showed me he has a lack of integrity. I am probably overly sensitive to skirting the truth since WXH was a liar/cheater, etc. Either way, I have totally lost interest.

My divorce will have been final for a year in less than two weeks. I joined ChristianMingle, but didn't put up any pictures as a way to see what's out there. They keep recommending people that I find totally wrong for me. Feel free to call me a snob, but I would have a hard time dating someone who hasn't been to college.

A long time ago, I did a profile on match without putting up pictures or paying any money. They send out regular emails and I got one with a picture that I recognized. It's my WXH. He says that he's been divorced for 2 years. His profile also says that he is 5'6" which is an inch shorter than he always claimed. I think his height will make it hard for him to find someone.

And I actually spoke to WXH recently. My boys' school had a fund-raiser and I was there with my parents and a bunch of female friends. I was wearing my 4" heels. WXH came over and complimented my hair. (I've added highlights since we divorced). I looked down at him and thanked him. <snicker> The whole thing felt odd. For awhile, I was so afraid that he was going to keep using the legal system to harass me. His last frivolous motion was in August, and the most recent harassing letter from his lawyer to mine was in September. When I looked at WXH I realized that I am no longer afraid of him. I don't hate him. I mostly feel sorry for him.

How interesting! It must feel weird to run across XWH on a dating site!

Hi, y'all. Today is the one-year anniversary of my divorce.

Thanks for all the advice and support you have given me. I probably won't be around much any more.

Congrats Kirb! A year of water under the bridge.
I'll miss you. Thanks for all your help. Hope you at least check in and also keep us posted.

opt