Had a really weird experience the other day. Wanted to share it here.
I was talking with someone from Match via their email system for a few days. He seemed nice/normal, our conversation was good, he's a blue collar guy, has 2 dogs (I'm a dog person, and he rescued 2 which I liked), seemed down to earth. So it comes to the point where we want to schedule a time to meet in person and we exchange numbers. Text back and forth for a day (this was Friday), still going well. Had a hard time figuring out a good time to meet because my weekend was packed, including me playing volleyball this morning (Sunday) with a Meetup group. So he suggested breakfast before volleyball, and I suggest he come to the volleyball game and play- that way it's a low-pressure, social way to meet him. I end up calling him to explain to him what a Meetup is, and just the sound of his voice sent off my "something's off about him" radar. Not sure how to explain it - he just doesn't sound like he looks in his photos and how he sounds on text and email.
Anyway, I give him the address of the volleyball game. He replies that what he really wants is for a woman to make him lunch on days when he has to work a long day. I said "ok .... you should add that to your profile"
20 minutes later, I get a text. "R U ok?"
I said, "Yes ... why?"
He says "I'm here"
I say "What are you talking about"
He says "Baby"
At this point I'm thinking "WTF??" especially after the phone conversation didn't go as I had hoped. So I said, "Ok, this has gotten weird. I suddenly have a bad feeling about this so I'm not going to meet you Sunday. Can you please stop contacting me?"
Then he proceeds to send me 5-6 text messages along the lines of "Please give me another chance I promise I can be a gentleman, I'm so sorry, I don't even know what I did wrong, I really like you, please please please"
At one point, I said "That exchange was really odd and my instinct is telling me to end contact with you, and your reaction is telling me I'm right. This is my last response to you."
And then he texted me again 5-6 more times, more of the same.
Lesson - Do not exchange numbers until you meet in person and you have established that you want this person to have your number. It just takes one crazy person to ruin your experience. I almost didn't go to volleyball today because I was nervous that he knew I would be there. I ended up going but an hour late. He freaked me out so much that I actually called two friends and gave them all the information I had about him, just in case.
It's happened to me. Seems like a great conversation online, but direct contact with them shows up that they are plain weird.
I swapped numbers at the 'want to meet' point. Two men got my number. One texted me with satisfying, appropriate, jokey exchanges. Every day, without being OTT. It made the first date less nerve wracking as he felt like less of a stranger. I'm still dating him.
The other guy who got my number sounds just like your guy. The initial online messages were great but when we moved on to texts he was so odd, and sent such nonsensical messages that I reconsidered and never wasted my time meeting him.
I think this was a valuable result of exchanging numbers. Rather than wasting an hour on a date and having to flee, he was assessed pre-date, saving time. I just brushed him off via text message.
One thing you can do is get a special date phone. A disposable thing you can just throw away. I would have found it inconvenient to have an extra phone, though.
You can also block people from calling you using special apps.
A big mistake was revealing where you play volleyball. Never let a stranger know your address, your routine, your workplace, your hangouts or any details of how to find you.
Always meet in public, preferably in a busy place. Preferably in the daytime.
Don't walk off to a second location with him through any dark streets. Think about how you will get back to your car/call a cab after the meetup.
Let a friend know where you are going and arrange to call/text them when you get back home. Have a buddy vet your dates profiles before you go. They can give their input and they will know the profile of the guy you are out with in case anything happens.
Please take these tips seriously. I work closely with the police and you wouldn't believe how many women get raped on first dates. The police often believe these women, but its difficult to proove.
Dating is risky. Giving a guy your number in a bar is risky. Telling any man your address and inviting him in is risky. Women have been raped by men in their homes by men they have known their whole lives.
But abide by some rules and you will minimise the risks.