My fault, his fault or am I just being mean to him - 10/14/13 06:12 PM
So me and my boyfriend have been together and lived together for about a yr and a half. We have a big age gap but age is just a number to me and were very compatible. We've been through a lot ,like we live in a tiny house next door to my dad and brother, my brother comes in all the time so we have like no privacy to have sex or argue properly but we make it past that and still be together and happy, but lately I'm not sure what's going on. His birthday is coming up and I think I've just been over criticizing him since the present I want to get him means a lot to me and I want to make sure I mean it. I want to get him a promise ring with our names engraved inside and I wrote a long love letter to go with it. Yea promise rings may be high schoolish but it's a way for me to say I'm ready for the next step.
Anyway, here's my problem. The other day I got mad at him for wanting a extra beer (he drinks, but is working on drinking less I think). pretty minor thing to get mad about but I made a big deal about it, and he changed the issue things my dad and brother do that irritates him, so I really hated that he just avoided the topic since It's a important thing to me.. The next day we were all quiet with each other and at the end of the night I broke down and told him when I get mad at him for stuff like that it occasionally makes me unsure of what I want and I get depressed. Well the next day he drinks too much and I wrote a note stating how I felt about it, I pretty much said if you aren't going to really try to drink less then tell me so I can emotionally adapt myself so we can have a good future. Next morning he reads it and doesn't have anything to say about it so I'm like all confused to why he can't answer it when I put out all my thoughts and feelings out for him, does that mean he doesn't really care? And finally today I checked his facebook messages and saw that he was flirting with a old friend of his. She has a boyfriend and all but my rule is I don't flirt with guys, you don't flirt with chicks. He told her we need to visit her and her having nice tits and A** is a plus for him and since he's older he wants to do things he's never got to do before. What the heck does that even mean? So I message him and tell him I saw it and how if we were more open and honest I wouldn't be nosy and he wouldn't feel like he has to hit on chicks, and that I don't know what's gotten into me but I'd like to work it out before I lose you. So I'm expecting another arguement to come later on
sorry for the long post, but whose in the wrong in this situation? and how should I let my man know that we need to really work this out? I asked him the other day if he would work with me to help our relationship and he said yes of course since he doesn't want to lose me, but we haven't started working out anything yet. Am I just being paranoid and nit picking at everything thinking we have some big problem? I'm not sure if this is the kind of questions asked on this site, but I really want someones opinion on what's happening.
Anyway, here's my problem. The other day I got mad at him for wanting a extra beer (he drinks, but is working on drinking less I think). pretty minor thing to get mad about but I made a big deal about it, and he changed the issue things my dad and brother do that irritates him, so I really hated that he just avoided the topic since It's a important thing to me.. The next day we were all quiet with each other and at the end of the night I broke down and told him when I get mad at him for stuff like that it occasionally makes me unsure of what I want and I get depressed. Well the next day he drinks too much and I wrote a note stating how I felt about it, I pretty much said if you aren't going to really try to drink less then tell me so I can emotionally adapt myself so we can have a good future. Next morning he reads it and doesn't have anything to say about it so I'm like all confused to why he can't answer it when I put out all my thoughts and feelings out for him, does that mean he doesn't really care? And finally today I checked his facebook messages and saw that he was flirting with a old friend of his. She has a boyfriend and all but my rule is I don't flirt with guys, you don't flirt with chicks. He told her we need to visit her and her having nice tits and A** is a plus for him and since he's older he wants to do things he's never got to do before. What the heck does that even mean? So I message him and tell him I saw it and how if we were more open and honest I wouldn't be nosy and he wouldn't feel like he has to hit on chicks, and that I don't know what's gotten into me but I'd like to work it out before I lose you. So I'm expecting another arguement to come later on
sorry for the long post, but whose in the wrong in this situation? and how should I let my man know that we need to really work this out? I asked him the other day if he would work with me to help our relationship and he said yes of course since he doesn't want to lose me, but we haven't started working out anything yet. Am I just being paranoid and nit picking at everything thinking we have some big problem? I'm not sure if this is the kind of questions asked on this site, but I really want someones opinion on what's happening.