I need some advice about this situation - 04/11/21 12:38 AM
Hello, everyone!
I'm feeling quite confuse about my relationship these days. Well, not just these days. I have a history of a prior abusive relationship that traumatized me a lot. I'm thirty years old and I broke up when I was 26. Just after the break up I met my current fiancé and he was very sweet to me. I couldn't help but to compare him to the other guy and he would win the competition in various aspects. He's very sweet and care about my feelings. He always supports me in everything I do.
However, there are a few things that irritate me: he's too dependent of his mother. He tells his mother stuff about our relationship he shouldn't. His mother does his laundry, his meals and the cleaning. (He lives with his parents). He wasn't successful in keeping her away from the wedding planning, so she was kind of pissing me off telling me how I was supposed to do everything. I told him this would ruin the relationship, so he talked to her and it didn't work. She actually came to me saying that she was going to meddle. I like her so I was very polite in every situation, but that is growing on me every time I think about it.
Also, he is not very good with conversations. He keeps giving these short comments and I feel like he's not curious about learning new things. He doesn't even read, and I totally into books. I think he bores me, although he's funny to be around sometimes.
Although I'm pretty sure I love him, when he's not around I don't miss him. Is there a sign? I feel like I'm released of something when I'm alone. We are in lockdown and I came to other city to stay with my mother. He is there with his parents. It's been more than a month and I don't miss him. Actually, it irritates me when he talks about the day we are going to meet when everything gets better. I'm afraid to get married and the marriage fails. I'm also afraid to break up with someone I love. Especially because my family loves him and I'm thirty, my mother keeps pressuring me about my age. But is that old to start over? I feel like I'll lose freedom if I marry. I want to know the world a little bit, because I've never had the opportunity.
What do you think? Is this relationship doomed? Just so you know... I have ADD, so I get bored pretty easily. I never know when the reason is the person or the ADD thing.
Thank you
I'm feeling quite confuse about my relationship these days. Well, not just these days. I have a history of a prior abusive relationship that traumatized me a lot. I'm thirty years old and I broke up when I was 26. Just after the break up I met my current fiancé and he was very sweet to me. I couldn't help but to compare him to the other guy and he would win the competition in various aspects. He's very sweet and care about my feelings. He always supports me in everything I do.
However, there are a few things that irritate me: he's too dependent of his mother. He tells his mother stuff about our relationship he shouldn't. His mother does his laundry, his meals and the cleaning. (He lives with his parents). He wasn't successful in keeping her away from the wedding planning, so she was kind of pissing me off telling me how I was supposed to do everything. I told him this would ruin the relationship, so he talked to her and it didn't work. She actually came to me saying that she was going to meddle. I like her so I was very polite in every situation, but that is growing on me every time I think about it.
Also, he is not very good with conversations. He keeps giving these short comments and I feel like he's not curious about learning new things. He doesn't even read, and I totally into books. I think he bores me, although he's funny to be around sometimes.
Although I'm pretty sure I love him, when he's not around I don't miss him. Is there a sign? I feel like I'm released of something when I'm alone. We are in lockdown and I came to other city to stay with my mother. He is there with his parents. It's been more than a month and I don't miss him. Actually, it irritates me when he talks about the day we are going to meet when everything gets better. I'm afraid to get married and the marriage fails. I'm also afraid to break up with someone I love. Especially because my family loves him and I'm thirty, my mother keeps pressuring me about my age. But is that old to start over? I feel like I'll lose freedom if I marry. I want to know the world a little bit, because I've never had the opportunity.
What do you think? Is this relationship doomed? Just so you know... I have ADD, so I get bored pretty easily. I never know when the reason is the person or the ADD thing.
Thank you