18, deployment and a wedding: any insight? - 07/28/11 10:39 PM
I just replied to Amazin's thread to bump as I read the thread today, and found some really great insight there. Thought I'd use that to springboard toward any resources and advice.
Here is why I'm posting (straight to the biased facts :)):
I am the aunt of a the best nephew I could hope for. My sister is and has been a single mom to two great kids...loser Dad has been out of their lives for at least 15 years. I'll call nephew Jack, and his girlfriend Jill.
Jack is 18 and graduated high school this year (2011). Joined Army Nat Guard last year and did boot camp last summer. He is now at AIT. The day he left for AIT he learned that he is going to be deployed to Afghanistan in September with 2 weeks home in between. Before learning of deployment his plan was to also work and go to college while living at home.
Jill is also 18, also just graduated high school, works full-time in retail and is going to college in September. She'll continue to work, live at home and go to school full-time. We love her! She is smart, good family, etc.. Simply adorable and incredibly responsible. They have been dating for 1.5 years, and first girlfriend for Jack. Well, there are a lot of �firsts� here, if you get my meaning.
Okay. So, about 2 weeks into AIT, marriage talk begins. After about 4-5 weeks of countless hours of conversations between my sis, Jack, Jill and Jill's mom, the decision as of yesterday has apparently been made. Also, these 2 (prior to deployment news) had their future planned out �on paper�in such a cute and frankly pretty smart way. Both opened IRAs, �knew� when they would marry, when they'd buy a house, have kids, etc. I know, I know!
Thanks for reading all of that! With that background, I'm seeking advice/insight per below.
-I would like to give them some MB materials in a not-overbearing way to help them through this next year. I'd like to present more a gift than a lecture, ya know? I was thinking of doing a scrapbook of sorts (Jill is a big scrap booker, very artsie girl) to include some tools about Ens, Eps (??), that sort of thing.
-Both of them are very thoughtful kids. Very affectionate toward others and each other, but not in a �puke/PDA� sort of way. I was thinking of giving them something like 100 postage-paid envelopes and putting in each one a printed note that says �I appreciate you today because ____________�. My thought came from someone on Amazin's thread that said they wrote every day, even if one sentence. I thought this might be a gift that would just help with that? Right now, they talk hours every day. No loss of communication at all. Not going to be the case soon when he is deployed. My fear for them is (especially Jack) not know what to write that isn't repetitive without needing to write 6 pages which he didn't have time for in boot camp. He said he had that trouble, so I thought maybe it would be cool to help them both write something each week and meet an EN or 2? Or, is that intrusive and stupid?
-Both of the above are just 2 things I thought might be gifts to them to help with their (Jack's mostly) insecurity while deployed, and help them stay connected.
Do these types of things seem like they would be helpful? Are there any other ideas anyone has that I can offer these kids? I sooooo wish that they would wait. Argh. May still happen, but I don't think so.
Anyway, thank you for weeding through such a long post! Any help is so appreciated from me and my sis indirectly. We love these kids so much...maybe they will defy the odds (age, deployment, etc.) I would just like to do a small or large or any part to help them make it together, and be that 80-year-old couple with the great story.
Here is why I'm posting (straight to the biased facts :)):
I am the aunt of a the best nephew I could hope for. My sister is and has been a single mom to two great kids...loser Dad has been out of their lives for at least 15 years. I'll call nephew Jack, and his girlfriend Jill.
Jack is 18 and graduated high school this year (2011). Joined Army Nat Guard last year and did boot camp last summer. He is now at AIT. The day he left for AIT he learned that he is going to be deployed to Afghanistan in September with 2 weeks home in between. Before learning of deployment his plan was to also work and go to college while living at home.
Jill is also 18, also just graduated high school, works full-time in retail and is going to college in September. She'll continue to work, live at home and go to school full-time. We love her! She is smart, good family, etc.. Simply adorable and incredibly responsible. They have been dating for 1.5 years, and first girlfriend for Jack. Well, there are a lot of �firsts� here, if you get my meaning.
Okay. So, about 2 weeks into AIT, marriage talk begins. After about 4-5 weeks of countless hours of conversations between my sis, Jack, Jill and Jill's mom, the decision as of yesterday has apparently been made. Also, these 2 (prior to deployment news) had their future planned out �on paper�in such a cute and frankly pretty smart way. Both opened IRAs, �knew� when they would marry, when they'd buy a house, have kids, etc. I know, I know!
Thanks for reading all of that! With that background, I'm seeking advice/insight per below.
-I would like to give them some MB materials in a not-overbearing way to help them through this next year. I'd like to present more a gift than a lecture, ya know? I was thinking of doing a scrapbook of sorts (Jill is a big scrap booker, very artsie girl) to include some tools about Ens, Eps (??), that sort of thing.
-Both of them are very thoughtful kids. Very affectionate toward others and each other, but not in a �puke/PDA� sort of way. I was thinking of giving them something like 100 postage-paid envelopes and putting in each one a printed note that says �I appreciate you today because ____________�. My thought came from someone on Amazin's thread that said they wrote every day, even if one sentence. I thought this might be a gift that would just help with that? Right now, they talk hours every day. No loss of communication at all. Not going to be the case soon when he is deployed. My fear for them is (especially Jack) not know what to write that isn't repetitive without needing to write 6 pages which he didn't have time for in boot camp. He said he had that trouble, so I thought maybe it would be cool to help them both write something each week and meet an EN or 2? Or, is that intrusive and stupid?
-Both of the above are just 2 things I thought might be gifts to them to help with their (Jack's mostly) insecurity while deployed, and help them stay connected.
Do these types of things seem like they would be helpful? Are there any other ideas anyone has that I can offer these kids? I sooooo wish that they would wait. Argh. May still happen, but I don't think so.
Anyway, thank you for weeding through such a long post! Any help is so appreciated from me and my sis indirectly. We love these kids so much...maybe they will defy the odds (age, deployment, etc.) I would just like to do a small or large or any part to help them make it together, and be that 80-year-old couple with the great story.