In need of advice - 07/11/12 07:08 PM
Hello everyone. Where do i start? My husband and i have been married for 6 years. We have two beautiful little girls (4 1/2 and 3). My husband has been on two deployments. The first one was in Iraq, and the second one was in Kuwait. Long story short. My husband has been in and out (training, school, coaching). He's a busy man. I was alone for most of the time when both our daughters were born. Being alone was becoming part of the norm. Through all of this, I�ve learned off not so nice side to my husband.( constant judging, pointing out the imperfections in me, ( I feel into depression with our second daughter. After a year in medication i was able to break through, and get back on my feet. Our marital problems worsen. He's always had a drinking problem, and I didn�t discover it after our 1st year of marriage. He would drink, and drink, and lie to me about it. Anyways - i became closer to friends, (this is where i found comfort) which eventually led to infidelity, on my part.
He found out about the affair and 6 months later we were divorced. He slowly came around again, and we both decided we were going to give it a second try. We are now married (again) and i feel like we are going down the same road. He will be activated AGAIN but this time he will be in Houston, TX. I really don't want to move out there, but will just to be with him. He has the anger outburst. It really scares me sometimes. I can go on and on, about why our marriage was broken, and how it led to infidelity. But at this point i feel like no matter what i say or do, there is no reasoning with him. He tells me that i need to submit to him, and listen to him and obey him. He does not make me feel comfortable with the idea of us having to pick up our lives here in RI and move to TX.
I've made amends with his family- I've asked for forgiveness numerous time, and he's even admitted that he contributed to the affair. He's admitted to being part of the problem. Just the other day he said that i shouldn�t bother trying to fix my relationship with his family because they can care less about me. Negativity is all i hear, and im on the verge of screaming from the top of my lungs because i simply cannot stand this anymore. We cant move on because he doesn�t want to. He's forgiven me or so he says he has but holds it against me. What should i do?
I appreciate all of your inputs... Thanks again
He found out about the affair and 6 months later we were divorced. He slowly came around again, and we both decided we were going to give it a second try. We are now married (again) and i feel like we are going down the same road. He will be activated AGAIN but this time he will be in Houston, TX. I really don't want to move out there, but will just to be with him. He has the anger outburst. It really scares me sometimes. I can go on and on, about why our marriage was broken, and how it led to infidelity. But at this point i feel like no matter what i say or do, there is no reasoning with him. He tells me that i need to submit to him, and listen to him and obey him. He does not make me feel comfortable with the idea of us having to pick up our lives here in RI and move to TX.
I've made amends with his family- I've asked for forgiveness numerous time, and he's even admitted that he contributed to the affair. He's admitted to being part of the problem. Just the other day he said that i shouldn�t bother trying to fix my relationship with his family because they can care less about me. Negativity is all i hear, and im on the verge of screaming from the top of my lungs because i simply cannot stand this anymore. We cant move on because he doesn�t want to. He's forgiven me or so he says he has but holds it against me. What should i do?
I appreciate all of your inputs... Thanks again