Husband gay? Bi? Confused? - 05/22/13 04:13 AM
Hello,
My husband and i have been married for about a year and half now and have been together in total a little over 2 years. As of today, the man I thought I married a year ago is not that man today after all.
I have been through a lot with him over this last year, on top of a deployment and a severe injury. My husband basically lied about nearly his whole life to me when we met and then married. And our first year of marriage was full of his lies unraveling. I won't get into everything he lied about but i will touch on what's taking a toll on us right now. (I have chosen to try to forgive, rebuild, and save our marriage). Something somewhat "new" has surfaced. My husband opened up to me that he was involved in homosexual activities, by force of a former boyfriend of his mother, in the past. He said he was teen when this happened. I was supportive and definitely did not want to make him feel as though he was alone to deal with it himself. But now I have recently found dating websites he is a member of where he is searching for "transsexual/transgender" women (women who are genetically men). As well as "shemale" "transgender/transsexual" porn on his phone and computer. Now unfortunately, due to his background of serious problems with lying, I am beginning to think that this "molesting" he claimed to have happened to him may not have been so much as molesting but he was voluntarily participating in it. Among the porn and dating sites, there are suggestive messages from other men on his Facebook sort of speaking in "code" in regards to why he won't speak with these men anymore, and my husband "overcompensating" his sexuality by stating that he's been "f***ing women".
As I stated before, my husband is not a stranger to lying severely, and when i approached him with my concerns he merely brushes it off. Insists its nothing, and says he "didn't know what transgender was" and that's why he watched it. But this has now happened, after I confronted him, again and again. He said he would stop the first time, and yet it continues
Unfortunately I am now at my wits end, and this situation, compiled with the lies of other serious things, has left me feeling like I can no longer offer any more chances and am ready to end the marriage. I loved "him", the "him" that was created by the lies. I don't know who it is I am married to anymore.
I would like to see others point of view. To possibly open up my eyes to other options, course of actions, etc.
Ps. We have a daughter together, as well as I have a daughter from a previous relationship and he has a son from a previous as well.
My husband and i have been married for about a year and half now and have been together in total a little over 2 years. As of today, the man I thought I married a year ago is not that man today after all.
I have been through a lot with him over this last year, on top of a deployment and a severe injury. My husband basically lied about nearly his whole life to me when we met and then married. And our first year of marriage was full of his lies unraveling. I won't get into everything he lied about but i will touch on what's taking a toll on us right now. (I have chosen to try to forgive, rebuild, and save our marriage). Something somewhat "new" has surfaced. My husband opened up to me that he was involved in homosexual activities, by force of a former boyfriend of his mother, in the past. He said he was teen when this happened. I was supportive and definitely did not want to make him feel as though he was alone to deal with it himself. But now I have recently found dating websites he is a member of where he is searching for "transsexual/transgender" women (women who are genetically men). As well as "shemale" "transgender/transsexual" porn on his phone and computer. Now unfortunately, due to his background of serious problems with lying, I am beginning to think that this "molesting" he claimed to have happened to him may not have been so much as molesting but he was voluntarily participating in it. Among the porn and dating sites, there are suggestive messages from other men on his Facebook sort of speaking in "code" in regards to why he won't speak with these men anymore, and my husband "overcompensating" his sexuality by stating that he's been "f***ing women".
As I stated before, my husband is not a stranger to lying severely, and when i approached him with my concerns he merely brushes it off. Insists its nothing, and says he "didn't know what transgender was" and that's why he watched it. But this has now happened, after I confronted him, again and again. He said he would stop the first time, and yet it continues
Unfortunately I am now at my wits end, and this situation, compiled with the lies of other serious things, has left me feeling like I can no longer offer any more chances and am ready to end the marriage. I loved "him", the "him" that was created by the lies. I don't know who it is I am married to anymore.
I would like to see others point of view. To possibly open up my eyes to other options, course of actions, etc.
Ps. We have a daughter together, as well as I have a daughter from a previous relationship and he has a son from a previous as well.