Snooping: Is it wrong? Or, is it the right thing to do in marriage?

This was quite interesting to read. My hubby feels very strong about the right to privacy. It makes you think for sure. I wander what he would think of the article? Do you think it would be a bad idea to print it out and share? This is a huge contention in our marriage. We have had problems and are still working on them.

It is me again. I am confident he is texting with someone. How to I correctly bring this up in a non fighting manner? Or do I just let it fizzle out on its own? thoughts, please help.

Don't bring it up at all. Instead quietly install spyware on his phone and find out what he is doing. THEN confront him with both barrells.

Have you checked his email on his computer?

It won't "fizzle out" on its own if your husband is having an affair.

The reason your husband wants "privacy" is because he is hiding something. People who have nothing to hide, don't hide.

You should start a thread in the Surviving an Affair forum. This is just the newsletter forum which isn't really for posting.

Going to the other forum. Thank you. I have checked his email and facebook. Nothing there. YOu are correct though. I am not positive, so I will collect evidence. I have no idea about spy ware. We have iphones, but he has a passcode on his. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Now what!!!!

Gena

Gena, maybe it'll help clarify things for yourself if you think of it this way: Privacy is not the same thing as secrecy.

Privacy is, for example, being alone when you do what you do in the bathroom. The door is closed. It's private; but it's not a secret. Your husband knows why you go into the bathroom & what's going on in there, even if he doesn't see you while you're in there.

What your husband is asking for is not privacy, but secrecy. Secrecy has no place in a marriage. Spouses can have privacy from one another, but not secrecy.

If I hadn't gotten started having a secret email correspondence with another woman -- about something as innocuous as music, at first -- then 4 years ago, I might never have gotten into the affair that almost ruined my marriage to the best woman on the planet.

If I were you, I wouldn't tip him off that you're onto him. Snoop, get concrete evidence, get the phone-bill records, find out who he's talking with, keylog his phone and find out what they're saying. Then you'll know & you won't have to guess. Maybe it's nothing. (But... people who don't have anything to hide, usually don't hide things, do they?) Maybe you'll be able to snap him out of it before he goes down the slippery slope that I went down.

Hi Gena, I don't know if you found out the "evidence" that you were looking for.I am new here and I'm looking for some answers myself since I found out that my husband was having an affair. I "found out" because he started having suspicious behavior, etc. He denied a lot, and only told me plain lies or half truths so I decided to find on my own. Since you both have iPhones (like me and my husband) I'll tell you what I did to access his iPhone "history". It was soooooo easy for me to find all the text msgs and even pictures that he "deleted" from his phone! First you will have to have access to the computer where he backs up his iPhone. Then you download an iTunes "data recovery" program called Wondershare to the computer where he connects his phone. You don't even have to buy the program, you can just use the Trial and believe me, if he is hiding something, you will find it. The trial has its limits but I was able to read ALL the msgs sent and received on his iPhone and see pics, I just couldn't "enlarge" the pics (you see them as thumbnails) but it was enough for me. Later, if you want to erase the evidence, just delete the Wondershare download from the history, but I didn't deleted the program from his computer (we both have MacBooks) because he would have to be looking for it specifically. Oh, and you don't need his iPhone password for anything since it would be as if it was him trying to "recover" his data I wish you the best of lucks!

Welcome, daydrmr. Please start a new thread in the Surviving an Affair forum. You'll get plenty of help there.

Can anyone tell me , how to go about finding out on iphone4s if ur spouse is on a chat room, utube picture sharing n whatever else he is up too. He drinks all the time n spends his life on that phone of his.
Appreciate any advice. What about spy stick

There is an entire MB forum that addresses investigation techniques.

*** click here ***

Can anybody tell me if there is anything like that for samsung galaxy s3 with android jellybean 4.1.1?

I moved your question to our spying forum Operation Investigate.

Have you checked his email on his computer?