(Spying 101): This should get you started.

1. The Keylogger: Primarily used for tracking Internet activity, email, web chat.There are two kinds of keyloggers that I am aware of software, and hardware.
The software logger: : Is a program that silently runs on a computer recording screen shots, emails sent and received, webchat, etc. This will work 95% of the time. Only downside to software is it can be detected by other anti-spy software, and/or the real computer geek, or someone that suspects they are being monitored. ($100.00)

Harware logger : This little device connects at the back of you computer in-line with you keyboard usb or ps2 plug. This device simply records the keystrokes from your keyboard only. This will get you less information than the software version, but will not be detected by software. Can be physically seen if you spend time looking at the back of your computer. ($50.00 – 70.00)

Audio recorders: 2 types: cassette or digital. Only real advantage the cassette has over digital would be cost, and capability to run longer. Due to the fact the digitals are typically small. The batteries are also small (1 or 2 AAA). Result limited amout of audio before the battery dies.

If you are recording in a fixed location like a house phone, the cheaper radioshack cassette recorder will work great. Go to radioshack and purchase a handheld recorder MUST HAVE VOICE ACTIVATED RECORDING. ($30.00)

A phone splitter: little plastic thing that goes in the phone outlet allowing more than one device to be attached to the wall. ($2.00)

2-6 foot phone cord.

1 or 2 cassette tapes 120 min or 180 min long. ($5.00)

Phone recording jack: Little device that allows the phone cord to connect to the microphone of the recorder. ($5.00)

Once you have this. Find the most inconspicuous place to connect to the phone system. I.E. behind a bed, under a desk, etc…

Connect the wall splitter to the wall (now you have 2 jacks to connect to) If you have a phone connected there re-connect it. Also connect your extra piece of phone cord to the other remaining available wall jack.

Here is where I chose to get a box. In the box goes the remaining:

Connect the other end of the phone cord to the input of the phone recording jack.

Now connect the headphone type plug on the phone recoding jack to the recorder.

Plug in the audio cassette, turn on the recorder, set it for voice activation. TURN THE VOLUME ALL THE WAY DOWN.

Now whenever you receive or make a phone call (From any phone at the same number that outlet is associated with) will be recorded.

KEEP IN MIND YOU CAN ALSO DO THIS WITH A DIGITAL RECORDER.

Just watch those batteries.

Recording in the car.

You will want a small digital recorder for this one. Again something that is voice activated is a must. Some of these come with a microphone, and they will work best, but not a requirement.

The most important thing with recording in the car is trying to get the recorder closest to the driver as possible and remaining concealed. This is why the recorder that comes with a very small microphone works best. You can hide the recorder, and keep the microphone out enough to pick up audio.

My recommendation for set up: If you have an external microphone. Velcro the recorder under the dash below the steering column. Run the mic wire up the steering column as close to the driver as you can without giving it’s location away.

If you do not have and external mic. Tape or fix to the underside of the driver seat (Microphone facing down, and as close to the center of the car as you can.

Again make sure voice activation is on, and volume and audible warnings are OFF!



GPS (global positioning system): Used to track vehicle’s location by referencing multiple satellites. 2 main types of GPS units available are recorders and real time. Both mount to the vehicle typically by magnet.

Recorded GPS : This is the cheaper of the 2, and will recorded location in timed intervals, and must be connected to a computer after use for data download. Software will pull the location and time off the GPS unit, and show you on a map where and when the car’s movement.

Real Time GPS : This unit cost more, and may require an internet access fee to access the Real Time location of the GPS unit via the internet. Very Cool, but also abit pricey!

Other options:

Don’t want to deal with any of this? Consider a private investigator.

Got Nextel? You can install free software, and locate a lot of these phones via the internet real time! http://www.accutracking.com/

This should be enough to get you pointed in the right direction, and commonly used devices available.

Cover your tracks when purchasing any of these items. If possible have a friend purchase, and pay them with cash!

Good thread!

An addition to the info about software keyloggers. You can easily disable anti-spyware software by running it and then selecting "ignore"in relation to the spyware. It will then ignore it in the future.

One that I have used in the past is actmon @ www.actmon.com. It runs about $40 and will send email reports. Very simple to use and runs invisibly.

www.peoplefinder.com can be an excellent source for finding parents, spouses, names. It is a free service but you can pay more to get more information.

Thanks ML,

Also for those who feel they have good info. Feel free to jump in with experience and links that will save others time with research. Phone Number hunting, Reverse look ups, Cell phone records, etc...

I have used US Search for reverse phone number lookups, each time it cost $15.

Cell phone records may be found simply by setting up an online account and looking at the bill.

The Nextel tracking software is free? Could I get more info from someone on this one?

Instead of a PI...sometimes you can get away with having a trusted friend that your WS doesn't know do the legwork. Posting them by the OP's house, or at work during lunch, etc... Additionally, having THEM place a call to an untrusted phone number from a pay phone or their cell works nicely as well. Often the OP will know the home phone...but not think about a call from some 3rd party. Have a good line of bull-stuffing set up, and they can actually learn a lot about the OP. Have them pose as a marketer who promises some silly prize for taking a survey...and then at the end of the 'survey' get their contact information so that the "prize" can be sent.

You can also do this for free on www.anywho.com

Just a thought. I know there are "kits" out there to test garments, etc., for the presence of...uh...male biological material, let's say. I don't know if this suggestion is appropriate in your thread, but it came to mind. I don't know a source for one of these test kits right now so if anyone out there does, please post. I'll be researching.

If this isn't appropriate, JKT, just let me know and I'll delete it.

LH, good suggestion about the semen testing kit. It is very effective in testing for semen on women's panties. I have the link at home and will post it.

Edited to add link: http://www.getcheckmate.com/

GPS tracking of Nextel phone's.

I apologize, the link in the initial thread for tracking a Nextel phone is for an option that is not available until this fall.

The following link looks to be in works currently.
http://www.accutracking.com/

I will edit the inital post to avoid confusion.

JKT

Longhorn, Thanks for the post. That is exactly the type of information this tread was designed for.

Thanks. I wasn't sure. And you saw where Melody already had the specifics, I'm sure.

How about some books on the subject:

Cheaters: 180 Telltale Signs Mates are Cheating and How to Catch Them by Raymond B. Green (2003 New Horizon Press)

Spying On Your Spouse by Kelly Squires (1996 Citadel Press) A little dated on the electronics used, but lots of other valuable information.

Website dedicated to recording phone calls: http://www.phonelosers.org/article/recording_telephone_calls/

new here, just found out 12/22/05 still trying to figure out what to do and what to think of my WS.
Does anyone know if there is a way to track outgoing and incoming calls on a cell phone? Any good thoughts on cracking passwords for email without having to reset it.
any help would be awesome.

Does anyone know if there is a way to track outgoing and incoming calls on a cell phone? Any good thoughts on cracking passwords for email without having to reset it.

You can set up an online account with your cell phone provider to track calls. Some have real time tracking some are delayed with billing cycle. You will need the cell SIM#.

Keyloggers are the best way to capture passwords. Unless of course you can guess. I got my WH IM password by having it emailed to him then I deleted that email....but if you can't get in to email that won't help you.

Digital voice activated recorders work GREAT.

Just an idea to throw out here. Anyone who knows me knows that for months I have been doing everything that I can think of to catch WH and get more information on OW.

A couple of days ago I signed up for Reunion.com and Classmates.com just looking for old classmates and such. Instinctively, I looked up OW, there she was !!! More info than I have gotten yet. But... and I now realize, a big but.. I think it will say that I have been there looking her up. Like --- who has searched for you, something like that. Frankly, I could care less what she thinks. Trying to let go of this.... trying but can not without some more um... info.... from Wh anyway.

Hope this helps someone a little.

Best regards - carnation

^for Broken

^ for gooner

Could you go to, say, Radio Shack and get something like this?

Thx
Rachek

I've seen them at computer stores such as MicroCenter or CompUsa in the past. Or...you can order them online as well.

The thing you need to ensure with these is that your spouse isn't likely to have a reason to go behind the computer...or if they do, they don't know what they're looking at. This normally attaches between the keyboard cable and the computer itself. Just something to be aware of.

I'd suggest you call around to a couple of the computer hardware/software stores and ask for them. Just tell them that they're hardware keylogging devices.

Whistles,

I would recommend the software version if you can log into the computer with admin rights (install software). Software is cheaper, and gives you alot more info, and options. i.e. keystrokes, screen shots of desktop, email sent and rcvd, IM conversations, etc... The hardware version only gives you keystrokes.

I agree that the software is cheaper. However, you have to disable your anti-spyware programs for most of them to work. I did not have the correct access to modify this on the computer that I used. The software to capture screen images and the hardware key logger is a good overall combination. It is a bit pricey..

C-

Got, you shouldn't have to disable your anti-spyware program to accommodate most keyloggers. All you have to do is program it to ignore the keylogger, which is real easy. Just run the anti-spyware and if it shows up there is usually an option where you can select IGNORE. I know that you can do that with most of the top ones like Spybot, Adaware, and the new Microsoft anti-spyware.

ML,

Oops, Let me clarify my comments. Some company computers require passwords to make any changes to the these sytems. Needless to say that the IT folks do not give this password away. This was the case with me. If you cannot get into the anti-virus/anti-sypware program, then the hardware key is much better.

For any machine that you have complete and total access to, then you are absolutely correct.

C-

The particular software which I had trouble with was Trend's MICRO OfficeScan. This program's options are not available without a separate password that is different from that of an adminstrator. For anyone looking to use keylogging programs with this anti-spyware, they only work until the computer is rebooted, then TREND removes the offending file. I had to fight this repeatedly. What I had to do was set the computer up with the key logger running and made sure that it was never rebooted (which was difficult as this was a laptop).

C-

I downloaded this keylogger for free:

http://www.kmint21.com/download.html

I hid it in a WORD document file. YOu can click on an icon so that it runs undetected. The only downfall is that you have to restart it every time you turn on your computer.

My husband is an IT person and he did not detect it. Also, virus scans did not detect it.

There is also an item you can connect between the keyboard cord and the port that it plugs into. You simply put it on, then later remove it, take it to another computer and download the keystrokes. The benefit of that one is that it truly can't be detected -- it's hardware, not software.

Voice activated recorders are awesome. Put one in the suspect's car, one in your house, one in his / her office if you can swing it. They even make some that look like ink pens. You can get a good /cheap one at Best Buy for $50.

Question.

My partner moved out and only checks e-mail from work.

The main computer is still in my possession.

The internet provider is Comcast.

Her "account" (user name) is the administrator or main account set up with Comcast.

I have a user account with my own password.

Can I get her e-mail password from my computer at home -- WITHOUT her knowing?

Thanks.

Come on y'all -- I know one of you has the answers to my questions above.

Chaka,

If she has not setup autologin, then you have little chance that any information would be stored on your machine. If she had setup autologin, then just try to get the email program running. Was she using Outlook or a webmail system?

Can you get any access at all to her computer at work? If so, then the dongle style keylogger will work. This will not interfer with any anti-spyware programs.

There are companies out there that say you can install keyloggers remotely. These are very expensive and I do not know if they would work. The computer that you are targeting is probably well protected and these programs are VIRUSES! Google "key logger" and you will get lots of results. The hardware version of a keylogger installs in seconds. However, you will have to make a second trip to retrieve it. Can you show up at your partner's work when they are not there? Can you enlist an accomplice?

If you call comcast, they will reset the password for you but typically cannot tell you what the password is (which will tip off your partner). I guess you could call them and ask about mail forwarding and see if they would help you out. Most often, this is something where the admin pw is required.

I now that this is not much help, but it is the best I can do. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Good Luck

C-

Bump for Toolman

how do you outsmart a computer genius? my spouse has a work provided cell phone so no access to that-and is a it network security geek- so I'm sure he would notice any sort of hardware or software

how does the voice recorder work if your spouse listens to the radio -does music or talk also get recorded?

I am a computer geek also, but would not fine a (software) keylogger unless I was looking for it specifically. The hardware version connects at the back of the PC, so again I would have to be looking for it.

The voice recorder will pick up radio noise, but if positioned well, and the radio volume is not louder than the voice will work just fine. I recommend an external mic superglued near the steering wheel.

Look for a digial recorder that comes with the lavalier, or lapel external mic. or they can be bought separate. Tape or velcro the recorder under the dash and run the mic up the steering colum and attach the mic with a drop of super glue.

^ for cantgive up

Anyone have any ideas as to how I can access cell phone records on internet when all I know is: carrier, number, name and address. I don't know last 4 digits of SSN. This is cell phone of OM (would this be illegal?). Thanks.

Someone else posted this link on another thread. I tried it using my own info, and it produced my address. So if you have enough info on the person your looking for and need an address, the price is right "FREE"..

ZABASEARCH

Hi all just to say i found this very interesting ,on spying. I have done the tape recording in car. i have Heard my H say thing to ow (our you sure that you are Divorced) (hi it me) .When played for him , he said he was talking to himself and told consellor same. WHAT A LIE. Sometimes thing back fire. Pansy

PANSY, you don't need the admission of a liar to know if something is true or false. In your case, you had solid evidence and didn't NEED his admission. Did you burst out laughing when he said he was "talking to himself?" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

An alternative to spying, because it was literally making me crazy (and angry, and frustrated, and tiiired) was to say to my WH.

"This is NOT a court of law, and you are NOT innocent until proven guilty...this is a M, and my gut instinct tells me there is something underhanded going on. I will assume the worst, that you are in a FULL-BLOWN A unless you give me irrefutable proof otherwise. The burden of proof is upon YOU."

Bump for Iceprincess

It's truely sad that a person needs to do these things to find out what their spouse is up to, but what are you gonna do if they deliberately destroy all the trust you had for them.

Good thing my W knows there's nothing she can do to or on a computer that I won't find out about so she doesn't try anything on it.

If you suspect anything, before spending money on keyloggers etc. what you could do is open a windows explorer window, click on tools and go to folder options, click on view and then on View hidden files and folders.
Then click on your C drive, click on Documents and settings, click on the user's name or on the owner folder, click on Local settings and then on Temporary Internet Files. Here you should see lots of internet short cuts and pictures, go through and click on any of them that you think are strange, when you do, either a website will open or a picture and that should give you an idea of what websites are accessed. Passwords and emails and so on doesn't show up but if your S has a web email or goes on chat rooms etc. , atleast the website should show.

It will not give you all the info you need but should give you an idea if you need a keylogger or not depending on what you find, mind you that pop ups show too so it might take a bit of time.

Also a keylogger that works excellent is Spector Pro 5.0. Costs money but has excellent features, works in stealth mode and you need to press atleast 4 buttons at the sametime and then you put in your password, that one records everything. You can set it so it will email you if there's activity or certain websites accessed.
Also, if you can get someone from your S's work to install it on their work computer, you can monitor their activity from an outside computer depending on what features you buy.

This program in stealth mode will not show up anywhere, not even in the add/remove programs, it can only be uninstalled through the program itself.

Hope this helps.

Ok, how do you figure out what is going on at work with your WW and OP? I've caught them talking in the parking lot after D-Day and recorded her talking to a friend about the OM, but she's gotten smarter or maybe it's over and she really isn't contacting the OM. I'd like to know for sure. I use to have access to her work email, but she changed her password a few months back.

I can't seem to get her to check her email at home, in which case I would have her password. Any ideas on ways to get her to check her email at home?

How about finding out what is going on inside the building at work. What can you do??? I don't have any contacts where she works.

I suggest finding a way for her to take a few days off work, go on a little trip or just stay home, if there is contact with OM, she would most likely not be able to resist checking her email at home during that time.

It's tough though getting access to their computer at work since it's company property and some companies have strict computer usage.

FYI -- A YAHOO MESSENGER "spying tool" which does not require downloading or purchasing:

There is a way to turn on the logfile in Yahoo so you will have an ongoing transcript of everything spoken in the IMs and in the chatroom. This combined conversation record is completely independent from the individual IM logs for each friend's ID and is not notified to the user and not affected by the usual messenger archive options. The user cannot turn it off through Yahoo. Looking at the recorded transcripts can be done in a text editor such as notepad or in excel, but there is a lot of untranslatable code letters in the prefix of each line of text. I filtered these out with excel formulas, but that is not necessary once you read a few dozen lines you will know what to ignore.

To permanently turn this feature on, you have to edit the registry. This works with Yahoo Messenger Version 7 series and some previous versions.

To manually enable Yahoo! Messenger logging, create the following .reg file:

(1) Go to Start, Run, then type in "REGEDIT" to active the Windows Registry Editor. Search through the folders until you get to the folder named: "[HKEY_CURRENT_USER\Software\Yahoo\pager]"

(2) RIGHT CLICK in a blank area on the RIGHT SIDE of the screen where the individual registry entries are shown in the "PAGER" subdirectory, which will open up a drop-down menu entitled "NEW".

(3) From the drop down menu, LEFT CLICK "New DWORD value", which will create a text box.

(4) In the text box, type in the name: "Use Logfile". Then press ENTER.

(5) Left Click on the new entry name ("Use Logfile"), which will highlight it. Once it is highlighted, RIGHT CLICK on the highlighted name, which will opens a drop-down menu. Then left click on the option titled "MODIFY".

(6) Clicking "MODIFY" brings up a new menu where you can edit the value, which is initially set to a default of "0". Change this dword value to "1" (hexadecimal), then Click on "OK".

(7) Close the upper right corner of the windows explorer window to exit out of REGEDIT.

The next time you sign on YAHOO, a transcript will be saved into an ongoing record in the logfile, which is stored in the folder: PROGRAM FILES/YAHOO/MESSENGER. This file will get longer each time you sign on because it saves all chatroom conversations and all IMs from any user, plus the date and time and name of the chatroom and chatters. The logfile has the name, "ypager.log". It is a good idea to erase the file once you are done with looking at it because the next time you want to view it you will have to find where you left off, and the file keeps getting longer.

Great new idea and tool Challengeoflife.

I wanted to comment on the legalities concerned with snooping. I am an attorney but limited to the practice of tax law. I do have a learned understanding of the law and the legal process. I also have a close relative that is a prosecutor and have discussed with him this issue. However, state laws differ wildly and you should ask your own attorney about your particular situation.

In most, if not all states, it is illegal to connect or otherwise place a recording device directly onto a telephone line to record conversation YOU are not a party to. In some states it is illegal to record a phone conversation this way even if you are a party to the conversation UNLESS you disclose the presence of the recording device verbally or with continuous beeps. However, these laws do not preclude the use of a recording device in the house that you own which happens to pick up one side of a phone conversation. As far as I know, utilizing a voice recorder or nanny cam in your own home is perfectly legal (the only known exception ARGUABLY MAY be the State of Washington).

As far as putting a recorder in your spouses auto, if it's YOUR car, then probably legal but NOT if it's your spouses titled car. That would likely be an invasion of privacy.

All that being said, the name of the game is REALLY don't get caught and if you do, create and manipulate plausible deniability. For example, purchase your spying devices with Cash or Money Orders and discard or hide the receipts REALLY REALLY well. Do not put your own voice on the recording except as it picks up your conversations with your spouse. Do not talk to or address the recording device at all, ever. Be particular careful when hiding the device NOT to speak or make any indication it was YOU that hid it. I know there is a tendency to test it (i.e. "1,2, and 3") or say "I hope you catch something good today"…DON'T. Then if the recorder ever gets found you simply say "What recorder". With NO proof you hid it or bought it if your spouse calls the cops or tries to prosecute you can flip the tables on your complaining spouse and say that SHE/HE set YOU up and you know nothing about any recorder. The end result is NO prosecutor desires getting involved in a "he said" "she said" situation or going after a betrayed spouse. Prosecutors also HATE husband/wife cases cause by the time trial occurs the complaining spouse usually recants. It's all just a big waste of time. They will refer you to the family court and send the complainer home especially if YOU remain steadfast that it was not your recorder or just take the fifth and refuse to answer.

Further, your spouse MAY threaten to call the cops or prosecute you for eavesdropping but they RARELY do. They want to maintain the secrecy of their addiction/affair and only want to manipulate you to back off with the threat...going forward with the threat only interferes with the addiction AND exposes it. Not likely. So when you are threatened after getting caught snooping don't back down, say "what recorder" and invite them to call the cops. Tell them to have at it...because they won't.

As far as fighting for your marriage, your spouse KNOWS you were snooping despite the denials so what to do about from there about snooping. Without admitting the recorder was yours, ever (the wayward could now be recording you), I suggest you apologize for it but say it's a necessary thing for you to snoop to reveal the truth about your life. Your wayward spouse has clearly demonstrated his/her untrustworthiness so you need to snoop to protect yourself, your family and the wayward spouse for more lies and deciept. You'd be a fool to trust them right now and they would surely do it to you if the situation were reversed, in fact, you'd appreciate it. You could certainly give the impression that you won't do it anymore (try not to flat out lie), but I suggest you storm right out and get yourself more and easier to hide survellance devices. It's a mistake to give in the anger of the wayward spouse. Of course they are angry but deep down they understand what you are doing and know you should be spying on them their anger is only an attempt to manipulate and control you so they can continue their addiction....don't buy it.

Last caveat...if you ever get questioned by the police about snooping you CAN lie to them. You have not taken an oath in the court of law and getting in trouble for snooping on your cheating spouse is not a thing the "STATE" should be getting involved with anyway. Lie and save the taxpayers some money.

THE BEST ADVICE: DON'T GET CAUGHT (hide devices with precision, thoughtfulness and genius)

Mr. Wondering

p.s. - Usually such passive recordings are not admissible in court. This is especially the case in no fault divorce states because they are irrelevant also. However, they may be admissible to impeach the testimony of your spouse (if they flat out lie and deny the affair or indicate the hiding of assets on tape and deny such in deposition you got 'em). They may also be reviewed by parenting evaluators in the custody dispute who are not as bound by the rules of evidence

Mr. W: Great Info!

Here is a State-by-State list of the laws on recording phone converstaion.

With the prevalence of chat programs on cell phones now, I thought I'd add a little bit to try and demystify what the codes mean. Unfortunately, I can verify this only for T-Mobile, and I had to do a lot of digging and testing to confirm it, and it is specific to AIM (As far as I know).

First, there's a couple of versions of AIM for phones. One version is using the traditional text-based messaging system, where you send the IM to a pre-assigned number to deliver it to the recipient via AIM. The system appears to assign these numbers, but they also appear to remain constant for a given buddy.

The second version is the mobile software version.

For the first one, you will see (usually) 4 digit codes for the number sent to, and if it was sent from the phone it will say A O L Message in the detail bill on line. If it was received, it will simply say incoming, with a 4 digit code that equals the buddy who sent it.

For the software version, every message (that I've seen) is assigned 4690. Outgoing is listed as A O L Builtin, and incoming is simply Incoming.

I hope this helps any BS out there trying to find out what's going on (or any parents who need to monitor their kid's use of cellphones).

Now for my question. I've seen some messages (on my wife's bill, not mine) that are listed as E-Note, with a 0500 number - the entry is the same, regardless of whether it's incoming or outgoing. Anyone know what this is? T-Mobile was about as helpful as tits on a bore hog <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I'll tell you what--that Zabasearch works. I've been trying to get the OW address for a long time. I've tried other on line places and I've always hit a brick wall--this site pulled it right up for me. Thanks so much. And also thanks for the links about the recorders. Excellent!

My WH thought he was being smart by using his separate credit card on hotel room charges with OW. He didn't know my detective skills.

I requested duplicate cred card statements from his credit card company. Even though I'm not a cardholder, some customer service reps will send you copies. You just need to have your WS' SSN and mother's maiden name. Some reps can be stubborn but just tell them H is out-of-town and needs duplicates for his records. I just tell them I'm requesting copies on behalf of my H. They are pretty cooperative. You just need to make sure you intercept the mail.

Better yet, if you have access to his c/c, you can set up an online account and monitor it via Internet.

Bump for ddk43

Beatndown,

Will Spector PRo. 5.0 work on a laptop computer? My WH has a laptop. What would you suggest?

THanks

mom24

Mom24,

Spector Pro will work on any computer that meets the minimum requirements as outlined on the website. Typically if its a pentium grade computer "less than 6-7 years old" you should have no problems.

There are options to have info forwarded to web sites, or email so you will not physically have to access the laptop to gain the data. This does require and internet connection in order for the information to be sent.

Best option "If you have access to the laptop on a regular basis is to have the data saved to the actual computer it is installed on. You then type in a select group of keys to your choosing (i.e. ctrl/alt/s) to view the history (History being: screen shots, keylogger, IM, email, etc).

Hope that helps.

JKT

When you put voice activated digital recorders in car to catch conversations, does the radio set it off? He listens to the radio and CD player the whole way to and from and I don't necessarily want to listen to the radio for hours waiting for the talking.

Also, what suggestions for when he emails at work? He knows I check his email and stopped emailing her from home over 4 years ago the last time I discovered friendship and he cut off ties. Now it has become A.

Last question. He also has started deleting all calls incoming and outgoing in cell phone so I can't check. Still waiting for latest bill. I plan on asking for password to site for log. He knows I've checked this because this is how I discovered A. Any other suggestions?

Angie,

Voice activated recorder: Yes the radio sets it off. It's kind of like fishing, you may have to go thru a dozen batteries before you get something. If you are not getting any info from the normal day to day trips. You may reserve the recorder for the "abnormal trip". As for listening to the entire content of the recorder. You could skip thru it... Listen for a few seconds, skip forward a minute, etc.

Work Email: Near impossible, and/or highly illegal to tamper with a corporate owned computer.

Deleted calls: Without complete lnowledge of the phone. If the call is deleted your only option is internet usage logs, or paper log sent with the bill. Most phone companies update the internet logs a few times daily.

Thnaks for the input. I'm willing to listen to the tape to find out what I may not be told. I do have an in at the office that I'm going to check out as well.

bump ^

bump!

Thought I'd bump this up for those trying to find out for sure! This is a helpful thread!

Forgot about this one. Found this in another thread posted by WTF:

WINDOWS OUTLOOK EMAIL CLIENT. If you would like to recover previouly deleted mail. This registry hack my help you out.

Please save or make restore point to Windows before making any changes to your registry.

Here you go!

Start the Registry Editor (Regedt32.exe)

Navigate to the following key in the registry:
HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Microsoft\Exchange\Client\Options

On the Edit menu, click Add Value and add the following registy item:

Name: DumpsterAlwaysOn
Data Type: DWORD
Data Value: 1

exit the registry editor.

You should now have activated a new item in the tool menu. recover deleted items. It should work for all your Outlook folders.

This may qualify for 'Spying 201' since it involves some pretty advanced/involved stuff.

Here's a very interesting technique I recently came across that makes recording telephone calls very transparent and requires no external hardware (other than a second computer).

There are two major parts to this:

1) Switch your phone service to Vonage or some other VOIP provider (Packet8, Lingo, etc.). If you have cable internet or DSL then this will probably save you some big money on your phone bill; that's certainly a good explanation if you have to justify the switch. When connecting the Vonage router, find the one wire where your entire house is connected to the telco provider and plug this into your Vonage router. This way, all the phones in your house are connected to the Vonage router, just as they were all connected to the LEC (local telco provider). FYI - I'm saving around $40/month using Vonage!

2) Install 'Cain & Able', a veritable Swiss Army knife of security tools. You can get it here:

http://www.oxid.it/

Next, watch this video:

http://www.irongeek.com/i.php?page=videos/cainvoip1

This thing is not simple or for the faint of heart. You may want to enlist the help of a friend who knows something about computers and networks.

However, the payoff for using this thing can be huge. As mentioned before, think long and hard before deploying any recording solution; you may not want to hear what you will have access to. Practice using it before deploying for real.

*up*

Upsey Daisy for a new poster...

Bump for newbies...

Spector Pro is the best key logging software out there, I think. No, I don't work for them....!! I have been using it to find info on my WW, and it's ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!! It does screen snap-shots, key strokes typed, myspace, ALL email, IT SHOWS YOU EVERYTHING!! I even have it set to detect key words, and it sends me an email at work as to what she was looking at, and/or forwards me the emails that have the key words...

My WW and her mother have suspected that I have some sort of spyware on there. They had a computer geek come out and install new anti-virus, and anti-spy software. It hasn't found ANYTHING. I also intersepted an email from the same computer geek to my WW saying that he was not able to find anything, and that there was no way that I had any type of "key-logging" software installed...What a moron!!

Happy hunting!!

Folks, if you're interested in tracking your WS, I've found a great solution.

Have a look here:

http://www.mologogo.com

Here's the short story:
* Get a cheap Boostmobile (Nextel prepaid) phone (I bought a Motorola i415 on eBay for $20).
* Activate the Boostmobile service. Make sure to get the data plan (wireless web).
* Get the data cable for the phone (I got one on eBay for $12).
* Download the free software from Mologogo and install the application on the telephone via the cable (lots of detailed instructions on the mologogo website).
* Configure the application per the instructions on the Mologogo website
* Configure the phone to be totally silent. Disable all ringtones, vibration, etc.
* Deploy the phone

What's Good:
* It's cheap! I paid $20 (including shipping) for the phone. The data service costs $0.35/day! You can renew the service over the internet or get cards in a Nextel/Sprint store. No other charges if you're not using the phone.
* It works! Once the phone has a good GPS fix you're in business. I've read that it works in the trunk of a car. Mine worked fine stashed behind a plastic panel where the jack goes.
* It works in real-time. You don't have to retrieve the device and download the locations to a PC. All you have to do is go to the website and you can see where it is right now. The website keeps the 100 most recent locations; by default the phone reports a location every 5 minutes (you can change that).
* You can send the data to somewhere else if you wish. I had mine configured to transmit to a website where a little program scraped the data and put it into a database, so I could keep more than the last 100 points.

What's Bad:
* Battery life. All the activity drains the battery. Messing with the map zoom and the 'stealth mode' will help. Mine never went more than 24 hours without dying. You'll need constant access to the device to bring it in and charge it up each day. You could wire it in to the car's power system if you had time/access. I'd certainly do this if I was using the device for Lojack-like purposes (a lot of mologogo users are doing this).
* Reliability. The mologogo application is a Java app that runs on the phone. Being a Java app, it locks up from time to time. Again, you'll probably want to reboot the phone once a day to keep things running smooth (no prob if you're charging it at night). The mologogo developers are planning a fix in the future that should allow for extended (indefinite?) use as long as power is present.

Bottom line: the price can't be beat and the results are amazing. I wish I had this when my WW was misbehaving - I would have figured things out much sooner!

Pep bumped some old links from the archive and I got this little gem from a very old spying thread therein.

TRASH

If you know where the OP lives and what night is garbage night you may legally be able procure a lot of evidence by snooping through the garbage they leave out at the curb. This may also be a good source of intel if you and your spouse are separated...just get your spouses garbage.

What's great is I believe it's most likely ADMISSABLE in court.

Especially effective if the OP is single. They won't be very careful at all with what they throw away and leave just sittin' at the curb for your taking.

You may get real lucky and trap the OP or your WS in a lie at deposition which you can PROVE. The shock of producing real documented evidence at a deposition in direct contradiction to testimony....priceless.

Mr. Wondering

p.s. - Another situation where you don't want to get caught because if they discover you are or have done this they will use such activity to make YOU appear like a crazed bitter sneaky controlling manipulate betrayed spouse. In fact, to maintain deniability it may be best to get someone else to make the garbage drive by and pick up, if you are lucky enough to have a friend or family member able and wiling to do so.

Is there a way to get a recording device on somebodies person or in lets say a purse without being detected? Just curious if anyone has attempted this.

Anything is possible. Just a much higher probability of getting caught.

Big purse or small?

Normal Digital recorders can be the size of a pen. Keep in mine the smaller the recorder the smaller the batteries.

depends on the week <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />
right now pretty big bag kinda thing.
This looks interesting:
http://www.pimall.com/nais/microdotaudio.html
kinda $$$ though.

bump

We had a custody case once a where walk-away mom was living the high-life and partying ALL the time. Our investigator went trash diving one night and lined up all the empty beer and liquor bottles along the curb and video-taped the whole thing. He also got some empty baggies with residue in them. It was great. He also followed her to a local head-shop and filmed her going in empty-handed and coming out with a bag. It proved that she was placing her children in harm's way by allowing them to be around her partying dope-smoking friends. It was ALL admissible.

..Does anyone out there know how to find if any 'spyware' has already been installed on a PC??

I am a BS, but having a BIG issue with trust. Ultiamtely I want to see his internet/email activity. My WH is an IT person and I know has access to software. I cannot install any key loggers onto the machine which would involve backing up and changing registries as all his business is on this PC and I can;t risk deleting/messing anything.

thanks

Jane,

You could buy a hardware keylogger that connects to the back of the CPU between the CPU and the keyboard connector.

Essentially it's a memory stick that tracks keystrokes. It will NOT be detected by software, and does NOT change your registry.

It is not a all telling as the software version. Only records what you type, no screen shots, etc...

LINK: Ghostkey

Bump again...

bump.

I used a small, GPS tracking device from LandAirSea Systems Inc. (www.landairsea.com) to check my WW's journeys against where she said she was going/had been. This revealed an extra stop on one journey of 1 hr 20 mins that she hadn't mentioned and which seemed to conflict with where/when she said she'd had lunch. I informed OMW of the details and we both challenged our respective WSs independently, naming the pub (bar) we thought they might have met at. Both admitted the encounter and both thought they'd been followed and observed but are unsure who arranged this (me or OMW).
The resulting paranoia will, we hope, end these meetings (both have promised NC) - the device stays!
The device has a strong magnet and no external switches. It's waterproof so can be attached under the car where it works adequately. I placed it near the tail-light cluster, behind an access panel where it is hard to spot and gives a very accurate trace (I could see which parking bay she used).
The device records the time, duration and location of all stops plus the route travelled. The data can be displayed as a simple log or superimposed on Google Earth images (or for US use, on a street map). Data is read by removing the device and plugging it into a USB port on a PC.
The device uses 2 x AAA batteries which should last about 2 weeks for good quality ones.

Good job on not revealing your source. It's making me laugh. Imagine how paranoid the two of them must be, thinking someone is following them, looking around, trying to lose them. LOL, I love it.

**edit**

Rewatch those James Bond movies too, and I'm not kidding !!!

I found my info mostly via old school detective work and cell phone records. The old school detective work means people skills and people contact, James Bond again. Ever work in a bar? Restuarant? Then you know people will talk if you get them going. Unbelievable info sourced this way. It's almost stupid as it can be so overlooked. Think James Bond.
Hope this helps.

My Story:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...e=0#Post3275828

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...e=0#Post3277549

Bump for obedientone6969

I just read that you can send a cell phone in to a company and get deleted text messages. It costs $175. and they will send the phone back the same day. The place is called paraben. Anyone ever tried it?

Believer, That is good to know and makes sense.

I can retrieve lost or deleted photo's from my compact flash card I use with my digital camera.

I will look for cellphone software that can do the same, and post my findings.

-JKT

I would appear the cellphone forensics is a bit more indepth than a memory card, but still doable. Much of the success varies on the type of cellphone.

There are smartphones that run an operating system much like a computer (PDA, Blackberry, etc, iphone). These utilize both simcard and memory cards for storage.

Your normal run of the mill cellphone stores data on the SIM card or internal memory. It's sounds like most recovery success is with phones that store the data on a simcard.

The sim card is much like a memory stick that also stores your cellphone companies data. This is why if your phone dies, and you move your sim to another phone, it now has your phone number, contacts, etc.. And if is the method your phone uses to store data... It will also have your text msgs.

Simcards, much like harddrives, or memory cards, in that when you delete something, it's not really "deleted". It has just make that space available to be written over in the future. Until the portion of the memory has been replaced with new text, the old text remains unchanged, and can be recovered with software.

here is a link to a forum that discusses cellphone forensics.

Text Message Recovery

WW has a boot password on her new laptop.

She suspected I had 'something' on her old laptop (which I did with good results).

She has the password on her new system to prevent me from gaining access to install keylogger.

Is there a way to boot from the CD (like a safe mode) in Windows Vista, install the keylogger, get out of the system and have my WW logon (with original boot password) like nothing ever happened?

I do not want her to suspect I was on her system.

Me resetting her password eould defeat the purpose of me maintaining stealth mode.

Any help would be appreciated.

My experience with boot passwords are part of the CMOS "boot process" and actually occur prior to booting from either the harddrive or CD.

It's worth a try to see if the CPU will boot from the disk.

There are certianly ways to reset the boot password if it is CMOS, but it would be evident if reset, without returning to previous state.

I really don't think there is a way around the boot password -- the system won't boot anything until you get past it.

A couple of options:

1. Most PCs (including laptops) have a jumper you can close to clear the boot password. You could clear it, check her system and then set it to something else. The next time she logs in, she would either lock the system (if there is a lockout) or have to have it reset herself. Pretty much a one-time check for you, but it does give you some plausible deniability.

2. If she uses an external keyboard with her laptop, you could insert a hardware keylogger between the two. Pretty risky with a laptop and easy to detect (unless she uses a docking station).

3. You could (very drastic) pull the harddrive and connect it to another system and read data from it then re-insert it back into her system. Depending on her OS, you might have to be running something that will read her data without any "permissions", but it's worth a shot if all else fails. You could potentially make a copy of her hard drive (or at least the important directories) in about 20 minutes. Use an external laptop harddrive enclosure hooked to your system and grab the important stuff. This would give you "offline" time to peruse the data.

More importantly.....

Have you determined what you will do if there is "information" on her system? Do you have a plan beyond simply getting the data? Maybe it's worth tipping your hand to get the info....

Good luck.

Justkeeptrying and Artor,

Thanks for your insight!

I just may reset her password to install the keylogger.

I will just have to weather her 'storm' of getting on her box outside of her view.

Then again, she should be open.

My dilemma is, she seems to be warming up slightly, but I do not know if this is due to her being able to have any contact with OM.

I will think about this today!

Thanks again!

It's a shame that we have to resort to some of the tactics listed here. But this is an EXCELLENT thread. It's definately given me some ideas...

One of our members used this PI to bust up her husbands affair: http://www.frankmusicinvestigations.net/ Ask for Frank Music.

He can do things like background checks, cell phone address look ups, retrieval of cell phone bills for some carriers, etc. His prices seemed very reasonable comparativley speaking. He does not do surveillance unless the target originates in Virginia.

ML -- THANKS!!!

I am calling him right now!!!!

ML - I am encouraged!

Just contacted your source above! He will help me.

This will hopefully be the missing link to finding the info to expose to OMW!

Thanks again!

Blue

Bluenote-

See my suggestion to you over on Brae's thread.

Post deleted by Capitan

Capitan, so far it is undetectable by any virus or spywares that I know of. Spector Pro is good if you have daily access to the target computer, eblaster is good if you don't and need the reports emailed to you. I would imagine there is some way to discover them, but I honestly don't know how.

Capt., SpectorPro software is the best product out to my knowledge. "It caught me, and I know my way around a computer (IT)".

It's always best to run your Spyware tool(s) after installation. If it's undetected, your set. If it's detected, you create a rule to allow the software.

I suspect it will go undetected.

Keep in mind "Any software can be detected if the person is knowledgable, and paranoid enough to really dig. But other than that, there will be no indication it's running.

As ML mentioned, If you are looking for reports while out of pocket... Eblaster will forward email and chat activity to you. If you looking to return home and review activity, go with the Spector Pro.

Does anyone out there have first-hand experience w/ Spectre Pro?

As others have responded, it's very good provided you can access the computer to view the recordings of activity. It doesn't have any noticeable impact on performance.

Is there ANY way it can be discovered?

Yes.

There is a single process that captures screen shots and keyboard activity. If you knew the name of that process you can easily spot that it has been installed. Assuming of course that you knew enough about computers to know how to look and were motivated to do so.

It stores the recordings in an obscure directory on the disk. You can change where it stores them but if you knew what you were looking for (and had sufficient privileges) it would be easy to find the files.

To view the captured screen shots you have to launch SpectorPro by typing an obscure modified keystroke. In theory a user could accidentally type this and would be prompted for a password to use it.

Here is a little something that worked for me to find the person that my WW was seeing. On Nextel phones anyway this will work not sure about the rest. A deleted number can be re-dialed by going to the Recent Calls through the main menu. Select recent calls icon, but do not open the icon just press the call button. This works as long as no other phone calls were made. Be careful you are calling the number so get the number and get out or else you are going to talk.

I’ve been told that WS will try and talk to the OP before coming home and first thing in the morning. It was in my case, then I just did a reverse phone search and there he was, name address, the works.

I’ve also used a tracker (GPS) and it worked very well. I placed it under the front seat in a car with a moon roof.

On googleearthstore.com there is a nifty super tracker stick for $269.00 which will track "anything that moves"...

Does anyone know of a way to get pin numbers to voicemail off of cell phones? My WH has changed his & I've not been around when he checked his voicemail. I suspect he is using the same pin number for his personal & work cell phone. I also suspect they are still in contact via his work cell, which has been destroyed but the number has never been deactivated. He still checks it every day.

Thanks!

I looked at the notepad on the phone to get the pin number. It has the last keys punched, even if the call has been deleted. Also, a device that plugs in to your home phone outlets will record all numbers dialed and also record any pin numbers dialed. This will work if he ever checks messages from your home phone.

I don't need it, but I'm getting one anyway.

My 16 y/o about start driving not going to think "it's cool" when I take the keys away for speeding!

I would go with the "Tracking Key" located on the same page. Only because I'm familiar with LAS (land air sea) quality, and it's cheaper <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />.

Thanks, planttel!!

I never knew about that feature. I checked it with my own phone & only my pin number showed up. I feel kinda dumb. I didn't know what notepad was for. Thanks again. I will check it tonight.

I have memberships at the local zoo, arboreutum,and museum.When a member shows their id the visit is recorded - found out the frequency of visits much more than I had been told. Also we have an IPass that automatically pays tolls on the tollways, by logging on to the state site you can get a printout of all tolls paid and locations of tollbooths.

Here's a nice little link I discovered today.

It's a listing of survellance options with actual links to amazon and other websites that sell these items.

Suggestions and comments on things like mini-video/audio recorders/downloading recording programs onto smart cell phones/recording calling cards, etc.

The also linked wristwatch MP3 players that can be set to record hours of audio. This in particular would be ideal for any poster herein that fears his wife could, will or might file a false Restraining Order or Domestic Violence complaint against him. The site listed the price at around $70 bucks so it's inexpensive and, if worn, would be available immediately for recording. No need to fumble around in pockets trying to get a digital voice recorder to work and stay on or run around trying to find such recorder. Just wear the watch all the time. Put music on it so it appears to be legitimate and record what and immediately WHEN you need to in digital quality. Best part about it. If you are arrested and restrained from reentering your home....the evidence goes with you.

They also suggest, compare and discuss special survellance calling cards previously unknown to me. Very interesting way to record calls...remotely.

Anyway...here is the great link to and about survellance products.
DON'T MAKE HER MAD....PROTECT YOURSELF SURVELLANCE PRODUCTS

Mr. Wondering

Courtesy of the poster Thinkingofmykids here's another handy dandy keylogging device that you just plug into the target computers USB port (like a flash card storage device), go through a 60 second set up process, remove the device from the USB port, hook it on your keychain and take it with you. You then can use it on any other computer to monitor the target computer completely.

It's only about $60 according to PC magazine.

Thinkingofmykids indicated that no detection software recognizes it yet so it's an easy one to use and you can monitor REMOTELY.

Here is the link ---- > SNOOPSTICK (not a toy for Snoopdog, fo' shizzle)

Thanks Thinkingofmykids

Mr. Wondering

One stick will monitor up to 3 different PCs too.
I can get them cheaper than the listed price...anyone interested let me know and I will try to figure out what shipping costs are. We have about 20 in stock...go through that many a week...sadly.

bump for my friend.

FYI


Spying on lover's e-mail? Monitoring may be illegal Austin police have charged two recently with activity.

By Tony Plohetski AMERICAN-STATESMAN STAFF Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Shawn Macleod wanted to know where his estranged wife was going on the Internet and what she was writing in e-mails, investigators said, so he secretly installed a program called SpyRecon on her computer that sent him electronic logs with the sites she had visited and messages she had sent.

His spying resulted in a four-year prison sentence.

Software programs created to monitor computer activity have grown in popularity in recent years as parents have sought ways to prevent children from accessing adult Web sites or e-mailing possible predators and as businesses have tried to curtail the time employees spend on the Internet when they are at work.

Others, too, have found a use for the software: Scorned lovers can track where their spouses or partners go online, whom they are e-mailing and what they are saying — all possibly in violation of the law.

Austin police considered Macleod's actions tantamount to illegal wiretapping and charged him with unlawful interception of electronic communication, a second-degree felony that can carry a 20-year sentence. Macleod pleaded guilty in May.

"It's pretty alarming," said Macleod's attorney, Johnny Urrutia.

Urrutia said he would be surprised if his client knew that what he was doing was against the law.

Doug Fowler, president of SpectorSoft Corp., which manufactures an Internet monitoring program called eBlaster, said law enforcement agencies nationwide have in recent months sought company records during criminal investigations, hoping the documents would show who installed the software on victims' computers.

In New York this year, a sheriff's deputy was found guilty of eavesdropping after investigators said he spied on the computer activity of a neighbor he thought posed a threat to young girls in their neighborhood.

The deputy was sentenced to five years of probation.

In California, a man was indicted on federal charges in 2005, accused of manufacturing, advertising and sending a program called Lovespy.

In that case, victims received an electronic greeting card that, when opened, would record e-mail messages and the Web sites they visited.

Austin police in recent months have charged two men, including Macleod, with the crime. The second case, filed last month, is pending.

Detective Darin Webster, who works in the department's high-tech crime division, said investigators also have looked into several other cases that didn't result in charges because the evidence had been destroyed or they couldn't conclusively determine who had installed the spyware.

"The problem itself isn't the software," Webster said. "The problem is how the software is being used. ... And in the cases I've seen, there are warnings on there that it may be against the law. In Texas, it is."

State law says it is illegal to intentionally intercept spoken or electronic communication.

The law grants some exceptions, such as to switchboard operators who might hear part of a conversation while doing their job.

The law doesn't address certain questions about computer spyware, such as whether it is legal to install the equipment on a jointly owned computer without the consent of the second owner.

Employers typically have workers sign waivers acknowledging that they know the company computers are monitored.

Parents, as guardians of their minor children, are allowed to monitor their children's activities.

According to court records, Macleod's estranged wife, Kristy, reported to police in August 2005 that she suspected he was monitoring her computer use.

A detective using a fake name sent Kristy Macleod an e-mail offering to buy the couple's pool table.

A few days later, Shawn Macleod confronted Kristy Macleod about the e-mail, according to a probable cause affidavit.

Detectives searched the computer and found SpyRecon software on it, according to the affidavit.

Kristy Macleod could not be reached for comment. Company officials for SpyRecon did not respond to an interview request.

In an online advertisement, the company asks, "Have you ever needed to secretly read the e-mail of your child or spouse?"

In the second case Austin police filed, investigators said Alexis Lugo, 29, installed eBlaster software on his ex-girlfriend's computer.

An affidavit in that case said Kara Winebright called Austin police and reported that she thought Lugo had hacked into her computer and changed the password on some of her accounts.

Winebright said she had broken up with Lugo and later had discovered some unusual activity on her account with eHarmony, a dating Web site. She checked her other online accounts and found similar problems.

Police searched her computer and found the eBlaster software.

Ordinary anti-spy software might not detect such programs, but checking to see which programs and files have been downloaded to hard drives should reveal them, said Fowler, the manufacturer of eBlaster.

Fowler said his company intended for the software to be used only by parents or businesses, not by spying spouses or partners. The company marketed the product that way several years ago but stopped, he said.

"We ultimately decided that it wasn't a market we wanted to participate in," Fowler said. "There are certainly those who buy the software for this kind of thing. But we don't encourage it."

Bump for Pottsy

Hi Everyone!

I had promised to put together a guide for bs's to block ws's from using websites to break NC. I finally have it put together and I was wondering what everyone thinks. It is my gift to the community for all the wonderful help my wife and I have been given. Thanks for taking the time to care!

Blocking Websites With The Hosts File

Sincerely,
Want2Stay

Bumped for Dory.

bump for monica8

Want2Stay, Fantastic tutorial!

"IF" you have an internet router, I believe it safe to assume they all have the capacity to block specific sites by adding them to a list. I know this can be done with my Linksys, and Buffalo routers.

You can also restrict internet connection to specific time of day, or days of the week. This comes in most handy for grounded teens!

You can create these limitations to affect all computers on the router, or individual/specific machines by mac address.

Due to the many different router manufacturers, I believe Linksys to be most common. I have provided a link for only the Linksys brand. A google search for others, or find the support page on the manufactures home page.

"If you are not in the USA" please go to linksys.com to select your location, otherwise USA LINK HERE

-JKT

Big Foot directories....gives addresses, folks living in the house and a semi accurate BD. Use if Zabasearcjh doesn't work for you...use it on yourself and see whatcomes up...scary

If WS uses a cellphone and has a lot of business calls to the same number, you may have trouble figuring out who is OP in the early days. If you have access to the cell phone, write down the dialed numbers, along with the time they were made. When you get the phone bill, compare your log to the bill. If WS is deleting calls the the OP, these will show up on the bill, where they didn't show up on your handwritten log. In my case, 22 of them in the first month.

Also, they will try to fool you with using a prepaid phone card on the cell phone. They will show up as strange 800 calls, like Atlanta, Montana, etc. Don't let that fool you.
Call the number and it will tell you that it is a prepaid number and that the person is unavailable.

Your query is why use a prepaid card when minutes are minutes in the cell phone world. They can't explain it.

I posted this elsewhere but it really belongs here. You can buy minutes on a spoofcard which allows you to make a phone call and have a different number of your choice appear on the caller id. Name too if you want.

I found it very instructive to call WH spoofing the call so that it looked as if OW was calling him.

You can call his cellphone whilst standing in front of him from another phone to see now he reacts or you can do it when you know he will be free to pick up the call.

Instructive either way if NC has been agreed . .

Any ideas on how to find out where OP works? I'm having trouble locating this info. She has left her previous employer - I called for her there to see if they would tell me where she works now, but they said they don't know.

I need that info to find out if she's occupied during the day or not and if her employer is a possible point for exposure.

Bump for a newbie..

KLD, start a new thread titled something like, "OP- Need help brainstorming/intelligence gathering", and I guarantee we all can do it fairly quickly. I have some ideas already, but need time to think of other helpful bits.

BTW, my WW got a wrong # call yesterday, and I already have a name , address, ph#, occupation, age, HS attended, year graduated, previous addresses, etc. So, it can be done with more effort than what I put in for 30 minutes.

I was just wondering if anyone has heard of or tried Flexispy? I'm not sure I totally understand it but once you install it on someone's cellphone you are able to hear conversations going on even with their phone turned off. In other words, you can basically hear what they are saying to other people in the office, etc. just in normal conversation - not just when using their cellphone.

Does anyone know anything about this? There are several different programs (can't remember the names of others) and I would love to try one since I have easy access to my H's cellphone. The problem is that I'm technologically challenged and even using the cellphone much beyond answering it and making a call is a problem for me. But this sounds fairly simple - if it works!

Shadows

I'm bumping this up since I never received a reply about the Flexispy program for cellphones. Hope that's okay!

Shadows

Just wanted to add this to this thread...

Read private data stored on any Cell Phone SIM card

Click here----> LINK

Marsh

Bump

Bump

Hi!

I have found something new that it seems could be useful.

www.maps.google.com

When it comes up, type in an address in the search box at the top. A map will come up and possibly, a photograph on top of the map. If there is a photo, click on the words "street view" in the photo box. The photo will become larger. You will see that you can navigate 360 degrees. Move north, south, east, west, zoom in and out. Pretty self-explanatory when you see it.

It seems like they only have photographs in large cities and their suburbs right now.

It's actually VERY scary.

I typed in OW's address and the picture came right up.

However, *I* live in a small town and mine only came up as a map without a photo.

Another way of finding the site is to type "google maps" (without the quotation marks) into a search engine.

The addresses are only approximate but they're VERY close.

I was shocked. I guess this can be both good and bad but I definitely think it might help if spying is necessary.

WH2LE

A semen detection kit is an excellent way to gather physical evidence. Generally, these kits look for a couple of marker proteins found in semen: acid phosphatase (AP) and prostate specific antigen (PSA). The AP test (like CheckMate) is quick, but only presumptive since there can be false positives. The PSA test is much more sensitive and specific, able to identify semen with 100% accuracy at a dilution of 1/1,000,000. This technology is used worldwide by forensics labs to identify the presence of semen in a suspicious stain.

These kits are readily available on the Internet by doing a search on "semen detection kit." As mentioned before, there are two kinds, based on either AP or PSA tests, but one kit has both, the InSite semen detection kit: http://insitekit.com/ . This kit is sort of unusual in that it contains 25 strips, whereas most others only have one.

Sometimes it can take a while to catch her, so you have to be persistent. Once you have the evidence, then confront her. There's only one way semen can get on her underwear (assuming you haven't had sex in 3 days), and that's from another man.

Here's a GPS tracking device that a friend brought to my attention. (Don't know if this one was already linked in or not):


GPS Stick

With any device, temper your NEED/ZEAL to acquire the information with caution to avoid getting caught. Sometimes you just have to forego obtaining the information if it's too risky.

Good luck,

Mr. Wondering

Yep, sometimes I had to leave the recorder in the car for days before I could retrieve it or wait until she went shopping and get it when she was in the store.

Bump

Ok heres a reverse for everyone. Anyone know how to find out if my laptop is being spied on by someone?

Cali,

With only one post to your credit... Why do you ask?

I suspect Google would provide you all the information needed.

-JKT

Cali - No offense meant, but you may want to post your story before asking this question.

FWIW, I would imagine many here would be reluctant to advise on how to get around snooping. Most here believe that it is acceptable to have their computer monitored by their spouse.

Bumped for Notoveryet!

Any tips for spying on a MAC?

I know Specter has one, but she found that when I had it on her PC. I used another but it doesn't have a MAC version.

Bump

I figured out how to view all of the stuff that my H has deleted on his Blackberry. He doesn't seem to know about this function or I'm sure I wouldn't see half the stuff on there.

For everyone snooping on a Blackberry:

1. Select the "messages" icon (the picture of a mailbox on mine). If your spouse deletes everything it will say "No Messages."
2. Press the "Menu" button (the one with all of the squares on it). Select "View Folder." This will give you a list of folder options...Browser Messages, Missed Calls, MMS Inbox, MMS Outbox, Phone Call Logs, SMS Inbox, MSM Outbox...
3. Select the folder you want to view. It will show you all of the messages (even complete texts) back to a certain point. I haven't figured out how to choose how long the messages are saved in this archive. If anyone figures that out, please add it.

PS. Thanks saynomore for the bump.

I am wondering, where can you go and buy a keylogger for cash? I look online at Staples.com and OfficeDepot.com, and they don't list this kind of software. I was hoping I could walk into a local store like this.

How does everyone feel about spying? What if you spy, discover incriminating evidence that turns out to be innocent and thus create a problem?

I guess if you have a suspected WS there is something going on - you may have just caught it early.

What's the typical reaction of the spied upon spouse?

How does everyone feel about spying? What if you spy, discover incriminating evidence that turns out to be innocent and thus create a problem?


If your spouse isn't having an affair then they should feel about the same as you'd feel if she/he spied on you. No big deal. It only becomes a big deal when your spouse actually has something to hide and is vested in keeping secrets

I guess if you have a suspected WS there is something going on - you may have just caught it early.

What's the typical reaction of the spied upon spouse?

If they have secrets...they go nuts. You will get called controlling and they'll demand TRUST. They will attempt to gaslight you into believing YOU are the problem in the marriage and that your lack of trust is killing them. They will go into super-secret mode (sleeping with their cell-phone, passwords changed, staying out longer) and attempt to indicate YOU are the reason they need to do so.

If they are NOT guarding a secret, they may get slightly upset as they are unaccustomed to having their privacy invaded by their spouse. They may even have some ill-conceived notion that some individuality in marriage is important and you...THRU HEALTHY CONFLICT will get the opportunity to confront and address these barriers to intimacy in your marriage before it's too late. Remember...CONFLICT is significantly better than withdrawal. Do not fear conflict as nothing gets resolved when you conflict avoid

added: I hope you don't find anything but you'd be in a rare basket of persons that show up here on an infidelity board suspecting their spouse only to discover they are NOT having an affair. By the time people show up here and start posting their gut feelings are typically a pretty good indicator of the truth

Mr. Wondering

FYI

Frank Music no longer has the investagation services. He sold his company. The same numbers still gets you to a PI but they will not provide cell phone records.

I have a Blackberry Pearl and this does not work on it. I have the same icons and can slect "view folder" but anything that I have deleted does not still show up there. So be careful if you are counting on finding out about deleted info this way.

How about a good suggestion for a PI in Michigan?

An excellent people-finder website is veromi.com . With very basic info, you can usually find name, age, city/state, place of employment, and likely relatives and roommates. For free. You can get more information for a fee, though I've never done that. (Usually, with the info I've found on Veromi, I was able to use sites like anywho.com to track people down. (I used this method to find people who wrote bad checks to my store.))

Best of luck... sorry for the situation if you're having to use this.

Nicki

Are there any keyloggers that you don't have to set the anti-virus to ignore? We had a keylogger on there previously, and my spouse checks that every once in a while. I am very poor, and could really use a free one if possible.

.dat files

Does anyone know how to open these files...Or has anyone downloaded any third party software to view them?

Thanks

Have you tried to view the .dat file with wordpad?

.Dat files are very "none specific" could be anything.

If it's chat, you should see it in wordpad. You might get a bunch of other crap to, but read thru it.

-JKT

..Hi thanks, tried looking in notepad on the off chance but cannot view.

Specifically I'm interested in the index.dat files on windows. I understand these still store all the URLS visited even when they've been deleted from internet cache, history etc.

Anyone else out there used any third party shareware to read ???

Thanks
J

There are a number of useful utilities at http://www.nirsoft.net/ for finding browser history and saved passwords.

http://www.nirsoft.net/web_browser_tools.html

http://www.nirsoft.net/password_recovery_tools.html

I'd suggest getting a USB flash drive to run the programs from instead of putting them directly on the target computer. This will help prevent the programs from being found as long as you're not careless about the flash drive.

Also note, some of these programs may be detected by antivirus utilities.

Yes, and it works as advertised. The only problem is it only works on certain phones. I used it with Windows mobile and it works great. You can see everything that goes on from calls, texts, emails, and you can even secretly listen to the surroundings of the phone when it is not in use.

You have to be somewhat technical to really tweak it, but it does run right out of the box.

Thanks! I posted this quite a while ago and kind of gave up getting a response. It sounded really good until I got to your last sentence. I'm not very technical but may give it a try at some point anyway.

Shadows

Bump

Some good info here. I thought I'd add my own tips of things that I've done:

First, the digital recorder. I bought an Olympus digital audio recorder, and it works great. I think it was the DS-40, but it may have been the DS-30. The battery life is a bit of an issue sometimes, but it picks up really well even in my noisy car. The best spot I've found is above the passenger-side sun visor (just in case she pulls hers down, heh). Set it on the middle sensitivity, turn on the voice activation (it has it even if the box doesn't say it), put it on Hold, set it up, and wait.

For the keylogger, I can't remember the name of the one that I used, but it took a while to get set up. I had to change her Antivirus to not detect it. I had to set up her firewall to allow the ports to the FTP server I'd set up (I think it was on drivehq.com. It was free and easy to set up. For some reason the email portion of my keylogger didn't work well for me).

Mail tracking. Since she used the same password everywhere, I went on to her two email accounts and set up mail forwarders on both accounts so that all incoming mail was forwarded to a dummy account for me. I did this before she knew I was spying on her, so even when she changed her password, it still sent me emails. Which was great because when she changed her passwords after she found out I was spying on her, one of the sites she changed it on sent her a confirmation with the new password in the email, so now I have her new password, too. She also changed the password to our Verizon account, and I can still log in and see all of their texts and calls (albeit about 24 hours after the fact). Definitely try to get signed up onto your phone company's web interface if they have one.

Recently, I've installed UltraVNC on her computer. It is a LOT better than a keylogger in many respects. I can use it to view everything she's doing realtime. The place where the keylogger is better is when I can't sit there and monitor her activity. I'd only get UltraVNC if you're somewhat technical. But here's how I set it up if you want to do it: I installed the server portion on her computer, set it to run as a service, and told it not do display the tray icon. After rebooting, it is active with no footprint. Then I had to change my wireless router to allow port forwarding for ports 5800 and 5900 to her IP address (I also set the DHCP lease on our router for like 2 weeks or so, so she always has the same IP, and I enabled remote management of the router so I can change the forwarding address if I need to). And finally you have to get the external IP address of your router, which is the address that you'll use to connect the client software to (which obviously you install on your computer). Like I said, it's a job for someone a bit familiar with their computer and home network setup, but if you are, it works great. Last night I watched her have a conversation with her boyfriend in real time. Grabbed a few screenshots for later use. Ooh! Almot forgot! On the client side, when you first run the client software on your machine, make sure to check the box that says something like "view only" and then save that configuration as default. Otherwise if you accidentally move the mouse over the image of her screen, her mouse will move and she may suspect something.


Hope this all helps. It was a great help to me.

Oh, and here's a good tip that I learned after my first few experiences: Make sure to not reveal too much specific information that you ONLY could've gotten through a specific spying method. For instance, don't quote her chat transcripts verbatim, etc. Like the other day when she lied to me and said she was texting her mom, I called her mom and verified that she hadn't. So now she knows that I know she lied, but she doesn't know that I could actually check on the Verizon site and find out for myself. Or just tell her that you know stuff is still going on, but you're "not quite sure of the details". They are already feeling guilty, so their behavior is already showing signs of what they're doing anyway. Let them feel like they have absolutely no poker face, and they won't even be able to trust themselves to do anything. Slowly but surely my WW's contact with OM is getting less frequent and less blatant. I still know every contact they have, but they are too afraid to do anything. Hope it stops completely soon.

bump ^^^

Do any of you know how to recover deleted sms messages from a telephone memory. Not from the sim card but from the telephone's memory.

is it possible?

Hey I just noticed that there is a solution for gaining access to cell phone conversations....Flexispy...is this still available, having trouble finding it online?!? Also any other solutions for this. I need to find something quickly.

anyone use this cell phone software with success....?

This is a PI I have used do the background checks and such. There is a lot of good info on his site (see the GPS trackers) and most of his info is dead on. He is licensed in several states so some of you may be be able to use him when needs arise.

I haven't read any of his books, but I watched the video clips on the website. His books may be useful for helping snoop when necessary

http://www.sevendaydetective.com/

I'm not going to say I've got flexispy running on any of my phones...but I will tell you I have seen the software in action and it is as advertised.

While the light version does not let you hear conversations, it does let you know who dialed in, where they dialed out to and all incoming / outgoing texts, complete with all texts. You get to see every word.

Get it! Rocks! Nuff said...

DNU1,

Hypothetically speaking, how hard would it be to download the software on someone's blackberry if you are not to tech savy?

Does the software send copies of the emails to your phone or the PC?

Well, their web site says it's a 10 minute install. In reality it take longer...er, hypothetically speaking I'm pretty tech saavy and it took me a good 30 minutes.

Check the site. It's very slick software. You access the records of calls and texts via web site. You set the software on blackberry to send messages to the servers hourly, daily, whatever you choose. And you can even control the sending remotely via texts sent to the target phone. Very slick.

Check to make sure the blackberry and network are compatible with their software.

bumping for living4her

Didn't want to start a new thread when this one was already here.

Anyone ever use spyware on a Mac? I've used eblaster before on a PC and they have a Mac version. But I'm not really familiar with Safari or Firefox. How do you know it erases the history of the website you went to to download/install it? I know it erases all evidence of the install, but I remember having to erase the history of visits to spectorsoft on the PC.

bump

bump again

Ok, my wife uses windows mail at work. She works at nordstrom if that may help. I need to find a way of finding out the mail account settings, such as servers. Once I have this I can figure out the user name and password. There are only 2 ways that thier can still be contact, and the most likely would be work email. Thank youfor any help that you can provide.

Maybe some can answer the ???'s, bumping is never a bad thing, unless of course you are on the end of the bed

i think this is for you...if not it is for whoever requested it!

Google Website Catches Cheaters

Bump, it's been a while

bump

It took a voice-activated recorder to catch my wife making plans to divorce me and marry her lover. It might be intimidating to set up, but it's really straightforward. The biggest risk is battery-swap time, that you'll be caught.

Important note: It's better to buy digital than analog (that is, one with a memory chip rather than a physical tape) because they typically consume much less battery life, record more without swapping media, and are TOTALLY SILENT compared with the subtle winding noise of an analog VAR...

1. Go to Radio Shack with cash in your hand -- around $100 should do it -- and order one of their cheaper digital voice-activated recorders. You should be able to find some decent options in their catalog for less than $60. Make sure the VAR uses replaceable, standard-type batteries (size AA or AAA).

Also pick up some sticky-backed Velcro from Wal-Mart or a craft store; it's typically less than $5.00. And enough rechargeable batteries to have one set in the VAR and one in the charger; if the VAR takes two AAA batteries, I'd buy six rechargeable batteries to be on the safe side.

2. Charge the batteries. Or if you're using Alkalines and are OK with burning through a few sets of batteries a week, don't worry about charging.

3. Practice with the VAR in privacy to make sure that the Beep setting is off (it can be set to "beep" when it's recording), that it records silently, and that you know it's turned on. Also become familiar with the PC transfer capabilities of the VAR and how to change batteries very rapidly. You'll need these skills.

4. At a time when your spouse is sleeping or otherwise not using the vehicle, use some Velcro to mount the VAR somewhere near the steering wheel. Most cars have a "false front" just above the pedals where you can stick the VAR. Use a long strip of velcro -- the length of the VAR, if possible -- to keep it secure.

If your vehicle doesn't have any sort of "false front" near the driver, you may need to find somewhere else innocuous to plant it. Make sure it's somewhere that you wouldn't think of as a place to hide something.

3. Here's the scary part: setting up some kind of schedule to swap the batteries every day or every few days, depending on model and consumption. You need to be able to get into the car, change the batteries, and escape unnoticed. Does your spouse go to bed early? Late? What time does the wayward spouse arise? Document the patterns and you'll find an easy opportunity to place it without notice from the wayward.

4. Once a week or so, download the VAR audio logs to your PC or Mac and listen to them. Or, if you have one that does not include PC transfer abilities, use the fast-forward features to skip as much silence as possible. Only keep the incriminating recordings, and carefully note the time/date these incidents occurred.

Look, a voice-activated-recorder in a vehicle typically nails them the first time, almost every time. They are never expecting it, particularly in the car. But it also takes some work on your part, because you get to listen to a lot of radio time and random chatter, and it's a little tough to set up and get familiar with a new piece of technology.

In some cases, it's even caught the lovers having sex in the car!


Now, if you don't want to buy a VAR, but have laptops laying around your house with microphones in them like I do, you can download a free application called "Audacity". It's not voice-activated, but just set it to "record" and you can skip all the silence visually by dragging the cursor. Make sure to disable the power-saving settings on your laptop so that if the top is closed it stays on, and set it, plugged in, somewhere innocuous near that wayward spouse's "favorite spot" in order to catch their adulterous conversations. It's important to note where the CPU vents are in the case... you don't want that fan winding up because the CPU is overheating while your spouse is talking, alerting them to the recorder!

Hope these tips help. Most spouses catch cheating spouses with a VAR in the car within just a few days. I caught several conversations, but nothing incriminating enough for 5 days.

bump

bump

Just had an additional thought for this thread. If you were to rank the most effective snooping methods, what would they be?

1. For ease of use, ease of installation, low cost (from free to just less than $100), and amazing ability to nab spouses misbehaving online, a screenlogger and screenshot logger combo on their computer is very hard to beat.

2. Flexispy Light on the wayward's iPhone, Blackberry, Windows Mobile, or Symbion phone is AMAZING, if a bit expensive. You can get the content of SMS messages both ways, if it has a GPS (or a pseudo-GPS, like old 2G iPhones) you can see where they have gone during the day, and get complete call history (helpful if their bills are no longer being delivered to your house!). For spouses carrying on affairs via a newer high-tech phone, this does the job very well. The "Pro" version isn't really worth the price right now, as the "remote monitoring" feature tends to crash the phone...

**Tip: If your spouse has a Blackberry and keeps it password-protected whenever they don't have it on their person, there's an easy bit of social-engineering you can do to break in. If you fail to enter the correct Blackberry password 10 times in a row, it prompts you if you want to erase all data and reset the phone. Confirm that's what you want to do... now you have an empty Blackberry free of applications. Go to the Flexispy web browsing address on the browser, install the app, delete the web browsing history, and when they restore their data to the phone, Flexispy will still be there. The "social engineering" bit is explaining this to your spouse. You can leave it unexplained, blank, and un-passworded, leaving your spouse to wonder why they have to restore their BB from a backup. Or if forced to 'fess up say that you were concerned about porn on their blackberry, tried to get in, and didn't realize it deleted all their data once you tried the ten different passwords you guessed. Realize this procedure is going to take around 10-15 minutes... so you need some time alone with their phone to get things set up.

3. A GPS in the vehicle is also very, very effective. They are kind of expensive, too, but you can Velcro the GPS to various places in their car. The rotation scheme will be the same as the voice-activated recorder: schedule a time according to when your spouse will be sleeping or otherwise occupied to plan to change the batteries and download the recorder data onto your PC. A great benefit of a GPS vs. a VAR is the variety of places you can put it in a vehicle.

Just a few more thoughts...

The VAR where can you put it in the car that it won't be detected? & how?

@tryingtogoon Re-read my post on VARs above. There's typically a "false front" that extends down from the dashboard to near the driver's and passenger's side feet, so there's a gap under the dash by the driver's feet. Velcro it up behind that part of the dash. You'll get a lot of road noise there, but you should be able to catch the conversations. Most cars also typically have buttons that are "blanks" near the driver, if your model of vehicle doesn't have all the bells and whistles that might come with the car. You can often run the mini-mic up near those to get better sound quality.

Some enterprising people with some car stereo installation experience have actually run the microphone up into the cloth ceiling or into plastic housings to do this... you can probably pay a local car stereo guy to take care of it for you if you can arrange to borrow your spouse's car. Might cost an extra $100, and be sure to pay cash...

Link to post on VAR installation & routines you need to set up to keep it working: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2299477#Post2299477

Flexispy also works on iPhones now. Go here to check out the details: LINK

Thank YOU !!!!

bump

I was curious if there is any way to get an email password if you know the account? My wife changed her password and I would like to get it, but I don't know if I can besides putting a keylogger on her computer at work which would be a little risky. Is there any good hacking programs out there that I can download to get the email password?
I found this, but don't know if it is legit.

www.know-the-truth.net

Best ways to get the password:

1. Ask. Seriously. Just ask for it. If your spouse doesn't give you the password, they are hiding something.

2. Many email providers have a secondary email account which password change requests go through. That's how I found my FWW's secret email account: the notification message about creating the account came to her account to which I had the password.

3. If you're not worried about your spouse knowing you spied, just do a password reset request on the account. Set it to a value you know. Then quickly print & save anything damning. Most waywards will start a mass-delete regimen after this, so it's a one-shot deal.

4. Keylogger. Nothing better for sniffing out passwords.

5. Screen logger. You don't need the password if you can do screen-dumps of whatever they are doing & reading on the computer.

That's the end of my initial thoughts on the topic. Back to work!

bump

bump

Bumping for Last1Chance

Nesre thanks for the bump

part of this post has also been posted in another discussion.

I am torn here. I have done a lot of spying over the years. In fact have been obsessed at times. Even lost a job due to performance because I spent all my time spying. I had been spy free for 2 years....look where it got me...right back where I was before. I have to say I really felt good NOT spying. I also thought things were GREAT! Is this really a way to live in a relationship? What kind of relationship do I really have with him if I can not trust him?

Not to mention, I have done it before & exposed him before, he is very slick these days. I have tried the trick to reset the PW on phone & LinkedIn sight but it sends him an email to an address that I do not even know. He is sure to check things and very secretive. When I come into his office sometimes I notice him close windows, or slide his e mail up so I can not see whets there. But it is his work PC & blackberry I have NO WAY to access it anymore.

He is very good at his job. Part of his job entails manipulation and lying. SO I think...it transfers to home life too. He is a charmer, no doubt. Always knows what to say and when to say it. Can think very fast on his feet. Even when I had "proof" he still had ways of making it all sound like it was me not him.

I am thankful for all of your advice. I know eventually I will be able to sort it all out. I guess right now I need to think of ways to discover WITH OUT DETECTION. That is my first obstacle!

It would not surprise me if he had some of these tricks up his sleeve to see if I am spying, again! SO I need to proceed with caution. I know he checks the history on the home PC to see if I am "up to my old habits again". He has been very clear all weekend that I do not dig into the OW's life. Of course I have...carefully not to have crossed any lines. But he may be able to tell when he gets home. He has told me in the past if I return to spying, he would dirvoce me. THat he can not trust me not to spy. Double edged sword....

last1chance, The problem is not spying, it is that you CHOOSE to stay in a marriage with an untrustworthy person who has secrets. If I told my H I was spying, he would be GLAD because he has nothing to hide. People who have nothing to hide, don�t hide.


If a person will only stay married to you if he can hide things from you, then you don't have a marriage anyway.

If my wife told me she'd divorce me if she ever caught me spying on her again, I'd take her up on that offer. Dr. Harley suggests three prerequisites for recovery:

1. That the wayward spouse never see or talk to the other person ever again for the rest of their lives.
2. That the wayward give permanent and complete transparency to his or her spouse, including all passwords, methods of communication, and open discussion of what he or she is doing at any given time.
3. That the wayward commit to a program of recovery, preferably one of Dr. Harley's courses (but any you decide on will do).

Establish those as YOUR baseline to be willing to recover and your minimum acceptable standards for life going forward. Be willing to live without him if he is not willing to live with those three very, very basic conditions of marriage. Chances are good he won't agree right away... if that's the case, it's a good bet you need a Plan B to preserve your love for him to prevent his abuses with another affair.

BUMP for "mail" a new BW.

Bumpers

Another resource to possibly find contact info for OP(S)... One of my friends posted about this site on their FB status: www.spokeo.com.

I searched my name in and all my info was on there! Name, address, and phone number, etc, even a picture of my street and an opportunity to pay $ and get even more info! I filled out the privacy form to have them take me off their site.

www.peekyou.com

This is great infos. Thanks for sharing. My biggest problem is I don't know how to install keylogger to my WH's laptop since he always takes it for work and pretty much everywhere he goes and I'm currently separated from him. He had changed his email passwords too. I used to have access to them.

BUMP for Just a guy

Any suggestions on how I can find out the OWs name (ideally without the expense of hiring a PI)? I do have her cell phone number. I've been trying to get into my husband's email account to learn info that way. He's overseas for work right now. I just learned about racy text messages with sexual overtones right before he left. So, I told him that I need a little time to think, process & pray. I'm thinking about just asking him for his email password. But, I know he'll be reluctant to give it to me (if he does it at all). His response has always been that I have to trust him. I'm wondering if it's worth asking. And, I don't want to initiate a love buster or tip him off that I'm looking around....

I've been thinking about downloading a remote keylogger to access his keystrokes right now (even while he's away). But, I'm concerned about the legality of that because his computer is not his/ours; it's issued by his company.

Any thoughts? Other suggestions? Thanks in advance!

With your husband overseas, it's going to be difficult to get any good intel. I'm not certain how I'd approach it.


A description I often use is "Trust simply exists like air. The longer I observe that someone's actions and words are consistent with one another, the more I trust them. The more inconsistent they are, the less I trust them. I can no more decide to trust someone from now on than I can decide to stop breathing from now on."

Mistrust arises because someone's words and actions are inconsistent. We need proof -- evidence -- of consistency in order to increase the balance of trust. Every time someone's words and actions are inconsistent with one another, they make a Love Bank withdrawal.



Do it. If you have any sort of access, install it. You signed no employment contract with the company; your husband did. The company is not going to sue you for spying on your husband's computer; the worst they will do is fire him for your actions.

And really, particularly if the Other Woman is someone he works with (likely!), would that be such a bad thing? He can always get another job. Getting another wife is a more difficult proposition.

Try All In One Keylogger from Relytec.com site.
It is the Best Keylogger Software.
It is totally invisible.
Has all the feature and so easy to use that anyone can use it.
I use it mainly to keep my kids safe online but i am sure it is good for your needs as well.
It comes with free 7 days trial with no nags screens ...
http://www.relytec.com