P.I. is an option, too - 08/23/11 01:49 AM
I was going to post this on the thread of a new, potentially betrayed spouse in SAA, but upon further consideration I decided it might be too much of a threadjack for there; and anyway, I thought the question might be of more general interest:
In my unscientific, anecdotal sampling, it seems to me that new BSs are only very rarely advised, by the vets here, of the option to consider private investigators among their possible options for gathering/confirming info.
Why is this?
Please don't misunderstand me: I am NOT at all against trying to compile & put out all the best possible advice on how people can do their own snooping. PIs obviously aren't as flexible as "in-house" snooping that can be expanded/adjusted/tweaked by the suspicious BS any time it's necessary, without delay & without extra cost. So I'm by no means against helping these BSs re: how to do it the best they can.
I admit, I'm partial to PIs because it was one that busted and helped to end my affair, and thus contributed unintentionally to keeping my marriage from being ruined & my life from going over a cliff. And I'm from a mostly upper-middle class community where most folks could afford a PI if they wanted one. I realize that that's not the case & is not an attractive option for lots of people from a financial standpoint.
I also appreciate the idea of "outsourcing" the snooping because I am a total technophobe -- if it weren't for my wife, the clock on our DVD Player would always read "12:00" (and I'm such a behind-the-curve technophobe that I almost typed "VCR" there instead of DVD, no joke). There are lots of us out here. We walk among you. Seems to me that trying to master technology under such circumstances, while maybe empowering to some BSs, might just add to the stress for other BSs, at a time when the last thing they want or need is extra stress.
So IMO I think we should just remind them that it's an option to outsource the snooping. Im not saying we should recommend PIs over self-snooping, just that we should mention them as an alternative.
What say ye?
In my unscientific, anecdotal sampling, it seems to me that new BSs are only very rarely advised, by the vets here, of the option to consider private investigators among their possible options for gathering/confirming info.
Why is this?
Please don't misunderstand me: I am NOT at all against trying to compile & put out all the best possible advice on how people can do their own snooping. PIs obviously aren't as flexible as "in-house" snooping that can be expanded/adjusted/tweaked by the suspicious BS any time it's necessary, without delay & without extra cost. So I'm by no means against helping these BSs re: how to do it the best they can.
I admit, I'm partial to PIs because it was one that busted and helped to end my affair, and thus contributed unintentionally to keeping my marriage from being ruined & my life from going over a cliff. And I'm from a mostly upper-middle class community where most folks could afford a PI if they wanted one. I realize that that's not the case & is not an attractive option for lots of people from a financial standpoint.
I also appreciate the idea of "outsourcing" the snooping because I am a total technophobe -- if it weren't for my wife, the clock on our DVD Player would always read "12:00" (and I'm such a behind-the-curve technophobe that I almost typed "VCR" there instead of DVD, no joke). There are lots of us out here. We walk among you. Seems to me that trying to master technology under such circumstances, while maybe empowering to some BSs, might just add to the stress for other BSs, at a time when the last thing they want or need is extra stress.
So IMO I think we should just remind them that it's an option to outsource the snooping. Im not saying we should recommend PIs over self-snooping, just that we should mention them as an alternative.
What say ye?