OK this is my first post on the site and I have a serious apprehension about going to the extremes I see posted here. Yes I have looked at my OW phone to see her past discussions with her OM but all that has led to is pushing her further away and I find it as sin nature on my behalf. It does drive me crazy not knowing but I drive myself even more crazy trying to know every single move!

Ethically I take issue with all the keylogger/tracking devices discussions. I don't know exactly how that method is a "Marriage Builder". I have seen a therapist for about 4 months now and one of the biggest things we have talked about is "letting her go to God". Investigating only sends me deeper into dispair and depression.

I do agree with doing things to deposit into the LB and I have been doing all that. Maybe too far as now I am accused of being smothering and "not like I used to be". I recognize I was not meeting some sort of her emotional needs and part of that has been laid upon my heart by God to transform my innerself.

So the big question is: How does the investigating help "build" the marriage back to a loving relationship?

Lost and Lonely

You might want to post this over on some of the help forums if you want some help. This forum is only to discuss spy techniques. I would post this on the Surviving an Affair forum if your wife is in an affair.