Wasn't there a fund-raising job you were looking at recently?
Nice of you to remember. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> I applied. I did not get invited to interview. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
How is the debt coming along? You know, once you get the debt paid off, you may be able to make some different decisions about where to live and what to do. After all, if Mrs. Hold doesn't want to work, but you're not happy with your job (miserable more like it)--does she get to decide the income level you guys maintain?
Over the past 2.5 years we paid down the credit card debt from $40,000 to $17,000. We pay about $500 per month (plus about $50 of interest). Plus we use about $2500 of our tax refund to pay down the debt. We also put $1,000 per month into a 401(k). And $400 per month into college savings for our kids. It will be about 2 more years until we pay off the credit cards entirely. But that only frees up $550 per month. Not enough to dramatically change our lifestyle or permit me to take a major pay cut.
To help our budget, I am going to stop seeing the doctor who is outside our insurance plan. It is just too expensive. About as much as when we were doing marriage counselling (which destroyed our budget for years with precious little to show for it). If I see a doctor in the network, then the cost should go way down.
Maybe taking a paycut and new position would force her to discover what new things she is willing to do for this marriage--even if leaving is one of them, it seems like change has got to happen somewhere.
Yes, I do have the power to shake things up. I could take a pay cut and "let the chips fall where they may". If I choose NOT to do that, then I should make the best of my decision. I should not complain that nothing ever changes if I am unwilling to change anything. Good point.
Miserable job. Miserable marriage. No wonder you are h*llishly depressed.
Exactly. That is why I no longer take anti-depressant meds. No point in trying to make the feelings go away when they are an appropriate reaction to my situation. I am never going to decide to change if I medicate the pain away.
I come back to this about once every three weeks, I think I wish you would check out your leave options and do some sort of day treatment program...
I appreciate your suggestion. I am seriously considering this. But not until I get fired. Right now I am not entitled to paid leave. I don't have the guts to take unpaid leave, risk getting fired, and have to borrow to cover household expenses as well as the cost of treatment. I know it sounds crazy, but I will probably choose to get fired and be forced to take action "involuntarily" rather than take a stand and seek a "time out" voluntarily. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />