Marriage Builders
Posted By: MelodyLane Anger Management 101 - 03/08/12 04:22 PM
Harley gives an excellent show about how he teaches anger management! I learned so much from this myself!

It is the 3-7-12 show and you can pull it in archives if these clips don't work for you:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4
Posted By: markos Re: Anger Management 101 - 03/08/12 05:02 PM
Oh, great! I will hopefully get to hear this this afternoon.

Sometime back I bookmarked a great one-segment introduction to anger management:

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/radio_program/play_segment.cfm?sid=238
Posted By: Letty Re: Anger Management 101 - 03/08/12 10:09 PM
thank you for posting this.
Posted By: markos Re: Anger Management 101 - 03/09/12 07:13 PM
I love this part:

"Does your girlfriend make you angry."

"Yes."

"Now, that's a trick question."

smile
Posted By: luvinlife Re: Anger Management 101 - 03/12/12 05:28 AM
What is required to listen? I followed your link, but it will not play for me... @.@ Do you know why not? Thanks. smile
Posted By: JenniferVoyager Re: Anger Management 101 - 03/12/12 11:04 AM
Yes, I thought it was a great show. MB has taught me so much. I really own my reactions to things now...realizing it is a choice I am making to become angry. Having grown up with parents who threw temper tantrums regularly, I just felt that was something in my DNA and that my angry outbursts were something I couldn't do anything about. Now I know better. And, even more, I can give my own children a different future.
Posted By: My4Loves Re: Anger Management 101 - 03/12/12 12:30 PM
Originally Posted by luvinlife
What is required to listen? I followed your link, but it will not play for me... @.@ Do you know why not? Thanks. smile

Could be your web browser or your operating system. I have had issues with Windows 7 and IE. Firefox is better for me.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Anger Management 101 - 03/12/12 01:09 PM
Originally Posted by luvinlife
What is required to listen? I followed your link, but it will not play for me... @.@ Do you know why not? Thanks. smile

LLL, go to the archives and pull up 3-7-12 and you should be able to listen that way.
Posted By: Marshmallow Re: Anger Management 101 - 03/24/12 07:31 PM
Originally Posted by markos
I love this part:

"Does your girlfriend make you angry."

"Yes."

"Now, that's a trick question."

smile

What a difference I saw in my life when I quit blaming others for my crappy feelings!

I had a LONG list of people who used to "make me mad". I had another list for people who "upset me."

I still have to "play" a game w/ myself to help keep me centered. When ever I think someone has made me mad or sad...I stop. And say to myself, "I'm mad b/c I want to be." or "I'm upset b/c I want to be."

I own whatever I'm feeling and then I can't give myself permission to punish anyone else for them.

Oh, and I also own my positive feelings. Only waywards or wayward thinking people think someone else makes them happy. If I'm happy it's b/c I want to be.

@ At Mel, thanks for the thread and the links! Dr. Harley rocks! smile
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Anger Management 101 - 03/24/12 09:02 PM
Hi Marshmallow!!! hug I learned alot from listening to him too.
Posted By: ZacThomas Re: Anger Management 101 - 03/27/12 05:46 AM
This is awesome show about anger management! I am pretty impress with this effort. It has lot of opportunity to reduce anger.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Anger Management 101 - 04/22/12 10:24 PM
bump
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Anger Management 101 - 04/29/12 03:54 AM
I wanted to add on another radio clip for AO.

It's really good. We are the one's in control of our own AO and Dr. H explains that his plan is in the book "Lovebusters" to stop AO.
Radio Clip on Steps to Stop AO
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Anger Management 101 - 04/08/13 11:29 PM
bump
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Anger Management 101 - 06/15/13 08:32 PM
bump
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Anger Management 101 - 10/22/13 02:55 PM
Radio Clip on Angry Outbursts
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Anger Management 101 - 10/23/13 06:35 PM
Radio Clip on Angry Outbursts
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Anger Management 101 - 10/28/13 02:12 PM
So is controlling you temper possible? Gina writes her and her husband have had success in controlling their tempers with practice, but they have run into a snag. Her husband got upset when she didn't like one of his jokes.
Radio Clip
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Anger Management 101 - 11/14/13 06:58 PM
Radio Clip on Fighting
Segment #2
Segment #3
Segment #4
Segment #5
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Anger Management 101 - 11/23/13 02:41 AM
Radio Clip on Releasing Anger-Is it healthy?
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Anger Management 101 - 01/14/14 05:19 AM
Radio Clip on How to Get Arguments Resolved and Not to Argue in your Marriage
Segment #2
Segment #3
Segment #4
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Anger Management 101 - 02/06/14 01:33 PM
bump
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Anger Management 101 - 03/09/14 06:30 PM
bump
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Anger Management 101 - 03/25/14 03:07 AM
Radio Clip on Angry Outbursts
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Anger Management 101 - 03/30/14 08:47 PM
What to say when your spouse is having an AO.
Radio Clip on What to Say During an Angry Outburst
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Anger Management 101 - 04/16/14 07:13 PM
Radio Clip on What to Look for in a Good Anger Management Counselor
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Anger Management 101 - 09/29/14 12:37 PM
bump
Posted By: Sevyn Re: Anger Management 101 - 11/09/14 03:05 AM
Thank you for caring. I was not even aware of how bad it actually is until I started to listen to these links. Im so glad that you cared enough to respond. It means the world to me
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Anger Management 101 - 02/04/15 05:10 AM
Radio Clip on Angry Outbursts
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Anger Management 101 - 02/04/15 05:12 AM
Radio Clip on Angry Outbursts
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Anger Management 101 - 02/11/15 04:02 AM
Radio Clip on Love Busters
Segment #2
Segment #3
Segment #4
Segment #5
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Anger Management 101 - 02/18/15 02:56 AM
Radio Clip on Angry Outbursts
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Anger Management 101 - 03/08/15 03:04 AM
Mark writes what should I say when my spouse is in the middle of an angry outburst?

Radio Clip
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Anger Management 101 - 03/27/15 10:50 PM
Kim says she can no longer taker her husband's angry outbursts and disrespect, and that they are now separated. They have been married 3 years and it is a second marriage for both of them, they both bring children into the marriage. Kim does not like to cook and told him so when they started dating but he continues to push the issue.

Radio Clip on AOs
Segment #2
Segment #3
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Anger Management 101 - 04/11/15 11:50 PM
Should you tell your children that their father is abusive? She left her husband when the kids were young, but now that they are adults, they do not know about their father's abusive behavior or that he had an affair.


Radio Clip on Past Abuse
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Anger Management 101 - 10/06/15 03:00 AM
Radio Clip on Angry Outbursts
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Anger Management 101 - 11/22/15 03:02 AM
Radio Clip on Angry Outbursts
Segment #2
Segment #3
Segment #4
Posted By: tamak Re: Anger Management 101 - 11/22/15 05:46 PM
Thank you for posting the links. Last time I was here, a poster suggested I listen to those segments. It helped me a lot, as well as talking to SH about the same things. I know the reason I was able to gain control and not have an AO while discussing a hot topic with my H the other day, is because I listened to those segments and have worked very hard ever since to learn to take ownership of my anger and control my reaction to frustrations.
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Anger Management 101 - 12/05/15 02:32 AM
Today's caller Julie tells Dr. Harley that her friends think she has a model marriage, but, in fact, she is the target of her husbands anger. She wants to run away and start over

Radio Clip
Segment #2
Segment #3
Segment #4
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Anger Management 101 - 04/02/16 11:03 PM
Jerry writes asking how can he avoid using mean words when he is angry.
Radio Clip
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Anger Management 101 - 04/07/16 12:15 PM
Mary writes that she has an issue with angry outburst! It happens quickly! How do I learn to control this?
Radio Clip
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Anger Management 101 - 06/02/16 12:17 PM
The Harleys talk about an article about the effects of angry outburst on marriage! Not only is it�s a major love buster, but its very hard on your health. It effects things like Blood pressure, back pain and many other things in our health.

Radio Clip
Posted By: smallpeace Re: Anger Management 101 - 06/02/16 01:57 PM
Thank you!!
Posted By: str22one Re: Anger Management 101 - 06/18/16 02:44 PM
I am trying to find this anger management tool/meter that Dr. Harley mentioned on the show this week.

Can someone tell me what these meters are called? My keywords are not pulling up anything.
Posted By: apples123 Re: Anger Management 101 - 06/18/16 02:51 PM
Galvanic skin response reader. You can find them on amazon.
Posted By: str22one Re: Anger Management 101 - 06/18/16 02:59 PM
Thanks apples123!

No wonder I was striking out. I tried anger management meter, anger management watch, and other combinations.
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Anger Management 101 - 07/02/16 10:10 AM
David calls in saying whenever he gets overwhelmed or feels disrespected, he has an angry outburst. He wants to learn to control his temper.
Radio Show on Angry Outbursts
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Anger Management 101 - 07/02/16 10:19 AM
David writes following up about anger management. He wonders how to deal with someone who is ruining your experience at a concert? Do ask the person to stop or do should I let them be aware of your feelings
Radio Clip
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Anger Management 101 - 09/03/16 05:34 AM
Radio Clip

Jane in Florida writes what should she do when her husband is in the middle of an angry outburst? An example of an angry outburst is played.
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Anger Management 101 - 09/18/16 12:44 AM
Radio Clip on Angry Outbursts
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Anger Management 101 - 10/04/16 12:32 PM
Originally Posted by Dr. Harley
"First off, angry outbursts by either spouse prevents recovery. No marital problems can be solved if one spouse has even a very occasional angry outburst. Whatever the anger is related to, it makes a solution impossible."
Here

Originally Posted by Dr.Harley
"I regard angry outbursts as the worst Love Buster. That's because it's not only physically and emotionally dangerous to the other spouse, but it completely eliminates the possibility of marital problem solving. For most couples we try to help, if they can't stop their angry outbursts, nothing else works. They can't follow the Policy of Joint Agreement and they can't follow the Policy of Undivided Attention. Without those two rules in place, there's no hope for a satisfying marriage.

So you must do everything in your power to stop all angry outbursts completely."
From here

Originally Posted by Dr.Harley
"Early on, I came to recognize that angry outbursts are probably the most damaging thing a spouse can do in marriage. I say this in spite of my recognition that infidelity is also a very damaging behavior. But I'm often more optimistic about the recovery of a marriage that has suffered from infidelity than than recovery of a marriage that suffers from angry outbursts. The primary reason that angry outbursts just about eliminate the hope of marital happiness is that even if they are very infrequent, they prevent a couple from solving their problems because the threat always hangs over every conversation. The first guideline for marital negotiation is to make the discussion pleasant and safe, and an angry spouse fails that very first condition, making the rest of it impossible to implement. Angry spouses simply create an environment that makes it impossible to make marital adjustments. That's why I advise couples with multiple problems that include anger to overcome the anger first, and then focus on the rest of the problems later."
Here

Originally Posted by Dr. Harley
"In some cases, I've recommended separation when one spouse doesn't take their angry outbursts seriously. For those who have not experienced physical abuse, they often feel that separation is too extreme. But I know for a fact as a clinical psychologist that angry outbursts are a form of temporary insanity, and most people who have angry outbursts cannot control what they do. In some cases, the very first angry outburst that became physical resulted in permanently injured or even death. The angry spouse has no idea that they would hurt their spouse so badly until it had already happened. Then they are grief-stricken at what took place. Angry outbursts must be completely eliminated in marriage, or the marriage is too dangerous to continue."
From here

Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Anger Management 101 - 10/23/16 03:02 AM
Debbie emails the Harleys about a previous show regarding overcoming angry outburst. She is looking for guidance on how to know the difference between healthy anger and abusive anger.
Radio Clip on Angry Outbursts
Segment #2
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Anger Management 101 - 01/26/17 03:57 AM
Johnathan writes he struggles with explosive anger but wants to win his family back.
Radio Clip
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Anger Management 101 - 04/24/17 08:05 PM
Jenny writes she is having a difficult time with angry outbursts, her husband will make disrespectful comments to her and then she will blow up, unless she walks away.
Radio Clip
Segment #2
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Anger Management 101 - 06/23/17 11:02 PM
Stay calm, avoid stress and don't get angry. After talking with Charlie in the last segments the Harleys take a broader look at ways to control anger.

Radio Clip
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