#7 on the list - 04/25/12 04:23 AM
Hi all,
Husband and I have been increasingly leading separate lives over the past 18 months due to conflicting work schedules and the demands of small children. We are also spiritually mismatched in the sense that while we are both Christians, my husband is devoted to his denomination and its particular practices which causes conflict in our marriage (i.e. the keeping of a full 24-hour Sabbath in very restrictive ways).
I have often felt that I am not a priority in his life; he tells me that I am but I don't see it. He spends hours each day reading his Bible and praying but has little time to talk to me. He also keeps a journal of his Bible reading which he does not want me to see. Anyway...after 2 years of not looking I actually looked at it tonight. I found a list in the back of the journal that he entitled: "Structure". He listed 7 things that he wanted to focus his day around. Going to the gym in order to be more spiritually fit was #2, bible study #3, career enhancements #4. "Time with Heather" was last on the list at #7. So there I have it, in writing. I am ready to file for separation but I am hesitant for the fact that we have 2 very young children whose lives would be upended and I do not wish to do that to them.
I am angry and sad. I feel guilty for being jealous that he spends more time with God than me, and on the other hand I feel neglected. He is an appeaser; if I tell him that we need to work on it he will say "absolutely" but then nothing will happen.
Thoughts?
Husband and I have been increasingly leading separate lives over the past 18 months due to conflicting work schedules and the demands of small children. We are also spiritually mismatched in the sense that while we are both Christians, my husband is devoted to his denomination and its particular practices which causes conflict in our marriage (i.e. the keeping of a full 24-hour Sabbath in very restrictive ways).
I have often felt that I am not a priority in his life; he tells me that I am but I don't see it. He spends hours each day reading his Bible and praying but has little time to talk to me. He also keeps a journal of his Bible reading which he does not want me to see. Anyway...after 2 years of not looking I actually looked at it tonight. I found a list in the back of the journal that he entitled: "Structure". He listed 7 things that he wanted to focus his day around. Going to the gym in order to be more spiritually fit was #2, bible study #3, career enhancements #4. "Time with Heather" was last on the list at #7. So there I have it, in writing. I am ready to file for separation but I am hesitant for the fact that we have 2 very young children whose lives would be upended and I do not wish to do that to them.
I am angry and sad. I feel guilty for being jealous that he spends more time with God than me, and on the other hand I feel neglected. He is an appeaser; if I tell him that we need to work on it he will say "absolutely" but then nothing will happen.
Thoughts?
