Helping inlaws - 11/14/12 03:54 AM
Just trying to keep myself awake as i wait to skype with hubby.
I am concerned about my in-laws. They have been married for 48 years. They are not talking nicely to each other which is VERY out of character for them. My mil has vented a little bit to hubby. And when they were here for a few hours, my husband commented on how snippy they were with each other.
The last 10 years have been really rough for him. First he had congestive heart failure off and on. Collapsed a couple of times and was ventilated and had to have a pacemaker put in. He's always been obesely overweight. His 3 brothers are as well. ( Which is why, I think my husband is so paranoid the other way. He is 6 foot and weighs 155.) He developed diabetes. He ended up having gastric bypass. That has helped and he has lost tons of weight. But still. He no longer walks but is in a wheelchair. He is in the hospital probably 6 or more times a year. My mil retired from her job a couple of years ago and recently went through breast cancer a couple of years ago.
That said, he could do more for himself. He is only 69.
I told hubby that I'm sure his mom is tired of taking care of him. I'm sure he is frustrated at what he can no longer do; although if he would make more of an effort it would get somewhat better.
I know, I should just stick to my own marriage but wondered what, if anything, I could suggest. This sweet couple are my second parents. I talk to his mom 4 or 5 times a week. ( only talk to my own mom once a month, maybe. His dad has been more of a dad to me than my own father. ( He made homemade cookies and brownies and immaculately wrapped them and sent them to me during finals while I was in college. My husband and I were just dating, though very seriously. Before he became so incapacitated he would just find little gifts that made him think of me like a chocolate cookbook and send it to me. He writes the sweetest letters to our children. )
Would a gift of His Needs Her Needs be good, or should I just keep my nose out of it?
I am concerned about my in-laws. They have been married for 48 years. They are not talking nicely to each other which is VERY out of character for them. My mil has vented a little bit to hubby. And when they were here for a few hours, my husband commented on how snippy they were with each other.
The last 10 years have been really rough for him. First he had congestive heart failure off and on. Collapsed a couple of times and was ventilated and had to have a pacemaker put in. He's always been obesely overweight. His 3 brothers are as well. ( Which is why, I think my husband is so paranoid the other way. He is 6 foot and weighs 155.) He developed diabetes. He ended up having gastric bypass. That has helped and he has lost tons of weight. But still. He no longer walks but is in a wheelchair. He is in the hospital probably 6 or more times a year. My mil retired from her job a couple of years ago and recently went through breast cancer a couple of years ago.
That said, he could do more for himself. He is only 69.
I told hubby that I'm sure his mom is tired of taking care of him. I'm sure he is frustrated at what he can no longer do; although if he would make more of an effort it would get somewhat better.
I know, I should just stick to my own marriage but wondered what, if anything, I could suggest. This sweet couple are my second parents. I talk to his mom 4 or 5 times a week. ( only talk to my own mom once a month, maybe. His dad has been more of a dad to me than my own father. ( He made homemade cookies and brownies and immaculately wrapped them and sent them to me during finals while I was in college. My husband and I were just dating, though very seriously. Before he became so incapacitated he would just find little gifts that made him think of me like a chocolate cookbook and send it to me. He writes the sweetest letters to our children. )
Would a gift of His Needs Her Needs be good, or should I just keep my nose out of it?