I'll keep this as brief as possible. My husband has a second life. He does everything independently and is continually dishonest. I have a huge problem with making selfish demands and disrespectful judgments that usually lead to angry outbursts. The question I have: I truly feel like my poor behavior is a result of his second life and dishonesty. Every time I'm lied to and left in the dark my resentment doubles. If I point out the dishonesty and poor treatment I'm accused of attacking and abusing (and ruining his life) but if I don't say anything my resentment builds. My husband needs the freedom and the independence in order to be happy while I on the other hand need the opposite. How can I break this viscous cycle when he feels he is entitled to those things? By giving them up, his needs aren't being met but by meeting his needs I'm sacrificing my own....

Hi jace, welcome to Marriage Builders. No one has a need for independent behavior. Yes, it is hard to give up an independent lifestyle at first, but it is only painful until something new replaces it. Using this program, that replacement is a happy integrated marriage. It is much like quitting smoking.