Rom828 thread Lack of intimacy - 06/01/15 04:59 PM
All I can say is my heart goes out to you. I am similar to your husband but with some major differences. I am 55 and divorced and sex was never enjoyable for me from day 1. I stayed a virgin until I married at age 30. I had a very dysfunctional childhood and I believe it led to me not being very capable of emotional or physical intimacy. My emotions are very flat. Like your husband I can do great at saying loving things, doing things for my spouse, etc, but am darn near a zero when it comes to physical or emotional intimacy.
I am not comfortable having sex. Too intimate for me. Plus sex for me is like eating. I eat when I am hungry but food to me is just fuel. I don't like to spend a lot of time preparing meals and don't particularly enjoy food. It's just fuel. When I need sexual release I'd prefer to masturbate. Quick and easy and no need to involve someone else. I have almost no libido and sex does nothing for me. You two enjoyed it once though whereas I never have so something has changed.
I am in a serious relationship but have been totally upfront about all this and told her if we marry I don't want sex. If she needs it then I will do my best to help out but can't totally fake having interest and will never seek anything out of it sexually for myself. I want her to know all that prior to marriage so there are no surprises. If that won't work for her then I completely understand and she can look for a better match.
I hope though you two can get something going again as you are married and love each other.
I am not comfortable having sex. Too intimate for me. Plus sex for me is like eating. I eat when I am hungry but food to me is just fuel. I don't like to spend a lot of time preparing meals and don't particularly enjoy food. It's just fuel. When I need sexual release I'd prefer to masturbate. Quick and easy and no need to involve someone else. I have almost no libido and sex does nothing for me. You two enjoyed it once though whereas I never have so something has changed.
I am in a serious relationship but have been totally upfront about all this and told her if we marry I don't want sex. If she needs it then I will do my best to help out but can't totally fake having interest and will never seek anything out of it sexually for myself. I want her to know all that prior to marriage so there are no surprises. If that won't work for her then I completely understand and she can look for a better match.
I hope though you two can get something going again as you are married and love each other.