Feeling confused & empty - 11/25/15 09:55 PM
Hi there. I'm new to the site and feeling rather overwhelmed by all the information. My wife, of 21 years told me recently that she doesn't want to have sex anymore. She feels uncomfortable when I touch her and has no sex drive or desire. I've known that things have been difficult for her for some time and I've never forced her to have sex if she doesn't want to. She said that she does it so that she doesn't feel guilty. I always manage to give her an orgasm, which she does enjoy but the affection I show is never really returned. This always makes me feel disappointed because I try really hard to make her feel comfortable and enjoy the experience. I'm talking about normal sex here. Nothing strange. Sometimes I give her a massage which is nice but it's always me making the effort. There's no concept of wanting to share. I'm a naturally huggy person and my wife is more reserved.
I need to say that my wife is 10 years older than me. On a daily basis we get on fine. We hardly ever argue and enjoy each others company. We do work together from home which can be stressful but we both have different outside leisure activities so it sort of works really. And oh yes we live in France. We both speak French well but hers is better.
Anyway, she found your site and suggested I take look. I've read through the starting pages and agree that your advice makes sense and is clearly explained. I moved onto the Basic concepts and at some point around here you mention your emotional needs questionnaire. I downloaded it to take a look. This is the point where I sort of freaked out. I don't know if I can do this!!! I feel like my wife is trying to control me in some way and then that just brings up a whole host of other emotions that I find very difficult to deal with. I had about 2 hours sleep last night, I just couldn't get this out of my head. I don't really know what my question is, I just want the emptiness and pain I feel inside to go away.
Thanks Andy
I need to say that my wife is 10 years older than me. On a daily basis we get on fine. We hardly ever argue and enjoy each others company. We do work together from home which can be stressful but we both have different outside leisure activities so it sort of works really. And oh yes we live in France. We both speak French well but hers is better.
Anyway, she found your site and suggested I take look. I've read through the starting pages and agree that your advice makes sense and is clearly explained. I moved onto the Basic concepts and at some point around here you mention your emotional needs questionnaire. I downloaded it to take a look. This is the point where I sort of freaked out. I don't know if I can do this!!! I feel like my wife is trying to control me in some way and then that just brings up a whole host of other emotions that I find very difficult to deal with. I had about 2 hours sleep last night, I just couldn't get this out of my head. I don't really know what my question is, I just want the emptiness and pain I feel inside to go away.
Thanks Andy