Need help with "jack in the box" - 09/13/18 12:59 PM
Thank you for admitting me to this forum. Firstly, I would like to quote a member of this forum � old_fashioned � of 7 November 2014:
old_fashioned
I have been searching for answers, explanations, anything to help me get rid of these thoughts. My situation is nearly identical to those of old_fashioned. At nearly 22 years of age I did not have any sexual experience before. That is when I met my wife, we started dating, and it was not long after that when she told me that we should become intimate. I was shocked and told her that I had been saving that for the day that I get married. She responded by saying that if I love her, I will do it with her. I must say at this stage that although I dated several girls before her in my life, I was still very na�ve regarding the birds and the bees. Needless to say, it did happen. Three months later she wanted to break up, but I refused to accept that and we stayed together. We got married just over a year after that day. When our first child was born, I was suspicious of her attitude with other men. The flirting with other men never ended. At that stage I started asking her about her previous boyfriends, and it eventually came out that she had a sexual relationship with her previous boyfriend. I was devastated. The thoughts of her with another man continued for several years but eventually I managed to get it out of my mind.
About four years ago, the jack in the box (quoting old_fashioned) jumped up, and from there on I asked for honesty, and got it piece by piece. Her sexual encounters started when she was barely fifteen years of age with a man five year older than she. Their encounters were very frequent and lasted for about two years. She also cheated on him sexually with another man, who was also a few years older than she. Then another previous boyfriend popped up with whom she also was very sexually active.
Until today I am devastated. We are married thirty-eight years this year. The deception still does not stop, but what kills me the most is that her previous sexual habits and preferences does not want to leave our bedroom.
I do love her very much, but this is killing me. Other than what I have told you here, it is very much the same situation as it was for old_fashioned. May anybody comment and help me out of this thoughts?
old_fashioned
I have been searching for answers, explanations, anything to help me get rid of these thoughts. My situation is nearly identical to those of old_fashioned. At nearly 22 years of age I did not have any sexual experience before. That is when I met my wife, we started dating, and it was not long after that when she told me that we should become intimate. I was shocked and told her that I had been saving that for the day that I get married. She responded by saying that if I love her, I will do it with her. I must say at this stage that although I dated several girls before her in my life, I was still very na�ve regarding the birds and the bees. Needless to say, it did happen. Three months later she wanted to break up, but I refused to accept that and we stayed together. We got married just over a year after that day. When our first child was born, I was suspicious of her attitude with other men. The flirting with other men never ended. At that stage I started asking her about her previous boyfriends, and it eventually came out that she had a sexual relationship with her previous boyfriend. I was devastated. The thoughts of her with another man continued for several years but eventually I managed to get it out of my mind.
About four years ago, the jack in the box (quoting old_fashioned) jumped up, and from there on I asked for honesty, and got it piece by piece. Her sexual encounters started when she was barely fifteen years of age with a man five year older than she. Their encounters were very frequent and lasted for about two years. She also cheated on him sexually with another man, who was also a few years older than she. Then another previous boyfriend popped up with whom she also was very sexually active.
Until today I am devastated. We are married thirty-eight years this year. The deception still does not stop, but what kills me the most is that her previous sexual habits and preferences does not want to leave our bedroom.
I do love her very much, but this is killing me. Other than what I have told you here, it is very much the same situation as it was for old_fashioned. May anybody comment and help me out of this thoughts?