Career change? - 03/17/21 04:43 PM
Good Morning,
My husband and I have been married for 7 years. He is a farmer and I stay home with our three kidos. We have so much career baggage concerning farming that I could write for hours. When we married our life plan was to work together on his family farm with my role being an active farm wife, not a stay at home mom. (I come from a farm family as well.) Looking back, I'm not sure why he never wanted me around after marriage but I have begged to be involved. I wanted to be a part of it all and play a role in its success. Long story short, it's been 7 years and I want NOTHING to do with his family farm. It makes me sick with rage, jealousy, hurt, bitterness...something, to think about being a part of anything that goes on down there. (We live 20 minutes away on my dads farm. ) I've been asking to talk about how we can make a joint agreement concerning his career and it just gets put off. He doesnt have a need to address it because he is doing what he wants. I've brought up seperation over the issue but he says if I do that it's over. I feel so trapped. I want my marriage to work, so saying a seperation would be the end of it is quite intimidating. Now his parents are wanting to sit down and talk succession. I want NOTHING to do with that place. I don't want him to work there. My feelings at marriage concerning his farm have changed so I feel like I'm the issue or problem. How do you make a POJA over an issue we do NOT see eye to eye on. Even thinking of compromising anything about working there makes me sick.
My husband and I have been married for 7 years. He is a farmer and I stay home with our three kidos. We have so much career baggage concerning farming that I could write for hours. When we married our life plan was to work together on his family farm with my role being an active farm wife, not a stay at home mom. (I come from a farm family as well.) Looking back, I'm not sure why he never wanted me around after marriage but I have begged to be involved. I wanted to be a part of it all and play a role in its success. Long story short, it's been 7 years and I want NOTHING to do with his family farm. It makes me sick with rage, jealousy, hurt, bitterness...something, to think about being a part of anything that goes on down there. (We live 20 minutes away on my dads farm. ) I've been asking to talk about how we can make a joint agreement concerning his career and it just gets put off. He doesnt have a need to address it because he is doing what he wants. I've brought up seperation over the issue but he says if I do that it's over. I feel so trapped. I want my marriage to work, so saying a seperation would be the end of it is quite intimidating. Now his parents are wanting to sit down and talk succession. I want NOTHING to do with that place. I don't want him to work there. My feelings at marriage concerning his farm have changed so I feel like I'm the issue or problem. How do you make a POJA over an issue we do NOT see eye to eye on. Even thinking of compromising anything about working there makes me sick.