Hey, Big Red, I believe James would call that the "little victories" I agree it sounds very promising. You need to change your screen name, now. You are doing the self improvement thing, youv'e lost 40 LBS. BigBuffRedhead comes to mind. Keep working your plans! GF

Thank you for the encouragement. Yeah I def dont feel like "bigfatredhead" anymore...but its been my nickname since college. She used to call herself "Bigfatredhead's Wife" on her voice mail. That changed once it became true . Now that I am losing weight hopefully the joviality of nick name will come back.

Hello BFRH. I'm kind of in the same position so I've been reading your thread with interest. I'm sure that everyone advising you here is right about exposure but I do understand how hard it is to do something hurtful to the person we love even if it's the right thing to do. I feel the same way. I'm a pure novice here so don't mind me, I just wanted to say good luck and that you sound like a very kind, good man - she'd be a fool to let you go.

Update:

Yesterday she said she does not see us getting divorced and invited me back into the bed. There is still no physical affection nor SF, but as we sat on the couch and watched Dr Harley's DVD she put her feet on me.

For those out there struggling Plan A really works. She said the biggest reason she wanted a D was because she didn't think I was capable of changing.

If I had not found this site I probably would have continued blaming her for our problems and saying she was the one that needed to change since she had the EA.

While she does need to change, so do I and the changes I made were mostly due from this site and the encouragement of the people on it.

She says her three biggest needs are for me to be lead the family in prayer and devotionals, invest into the kids, and invest and enjoy time with her. And I agree with those 100%.

Thank you all again for your prayers and support. I will keep you updated on our progress.

Update:

7/28/08 Wife said she wanted a Divorce


11/22/08 Wife said "I Love You."

We were at the Weekend to Remember put on by FamilyLife Today. We had to write a love letter to each other. I thought hers would be generic and lame. But it was good and heart felt at the end she said "I love you."

She said the biggest factor in restoring that love is Marriage Builders. We have the home study program and it is going great.

Hope this will be and ecouragement to people. MB does work; Plan A works. I beleive with a lot of faith in God and some hard work a lot of marraige problems can be overcome. We are far from healed or perfect but we are working on it each day.

Great seeing you pop in, BFR. I'm so glad things are going well for you guys. It's a lot of work, for sure.... you'll reap what you sowed 100 times over, though. Thanks for the update.

BFRH:

GREAT NEWS!

KEEP WORKING IT!

LG

(Happy Dance)




Mark