The 8 Cow Wife


When I sailed to Kiniwata, an island in the Pacific, I took along a notebook. After I got back it was filled with descriptions of flora and fauna, native customs and costume. But the only note that still interests me is the one that says: "Johnny Lingo gave eight cows to Sarita’s father." And I don’t need to have it in writing. I’m reminded of it every time I see a woman belittling her husband or a wife withering under her husband’s scorn. I want to say to them, "You should know why Johnny Lingo paid eight cows for his wife."

Johnny Lingo wasn’t exactly his name. But that’s what Shenkin, the manager of the guest house on Kiniwata, called him. Shenkin was from Chicago and had a habit of Americanizing the names of the islanders. But Johnny was mentioned by many people in many connections. If I wanted to spend a few days on the neighboring island of Nurabandi, Johnny Lingo would put me up. If I wanted to fish he could show me where the biting was best. If it was pearls I sought, he would bring the best buys. The people of Kiniwata all spoke highly of Johnny Lingo. Yet when they spoke they smiled, and the smiles were slightly mocking.

"Get Johnny Lingo to help you find what you want and let him do the bargaining," advised Shenkin. "Johnny knows how to make a deal."
"Johnny Lingo! A boy seated nearby hooted the name and rocked with laughter.
"What goes on?" I demanded. "everybody tells me to get in touch with Johnny Lingo and then breaks up. Let me in on the joke."
"Oh, the people like to laugh," Shenkin said, shruggingly. "Johnny's the brightest, the strongest young man in the islands, And for his age, the richest."
"But if he’s all you say, what is there to laugh about?"
"Only one thing. Five months ago, at fall festival, Johnny came to Kiniwata and found himself a wife. He paid her father eight cows!

I knew enough about island customs to be impressed. Two or three cows would buy a fair-to-middling wife, four or five a highly satisfactory one. "Good Lord!" I said, "Eight cows! She must have beauty that takes your breath away." "She’s not ugly," he conceded, and smiled a little. "But the kindest could only call Sarita plain. Sam Karoo, her father, was afraid she’d be left on his hands."
"But then he got eight cows for her? Isn’t that extraordinary?"
"Never been paid before."
"Yet you call Johnny’s wife plain?"
"I said it would be kindness to call her plain. She was skinny. She walked with her shoulders hunched and her head ducked. She was scared of her own shadow."
"Well," I said, "I guess there’s just no accounting for love."
"True enough," agreed the man. "And that’s why the villagers grin when they talk about Johnny. They get special satisfaction from the fact that the sharpest trader in the islands was bested by dull old Sam Karoo."
"But how?"
"No one knows and everyone wonders. All the cousins were urging Sam to ask for three cows and hold out for two until he was sure Johnny’d pay only one. Then Johnny came to Sam Karoo and said, ‘Father of Sarita, I offer eight cows for your daughter.’"
"Eight cows," I murmured. "I’d like to meet this Johnny Lingo."
"And I wanted fish. I wanted pearls. So the next afternoon I beached my boat at Nurabandi. And I noticed as I asked directions to Johnny’s house that his name brought no sly smile to the lips of his fellow Nurabandians. And when I met the slim, serious young man, when he welcomed me with grace to his home, I was glad that from his own people he had respect unmingled with mockery. We sat in his house and talked. Then he asked, "You come here from Kiniwata?"
"Yes."
"They speak of me on that island?"
"They say there’s nothing I might want they you can’t help me get."
He smiled gently. "My wife is from Kiniwata."
"Yes, I know."
"They speak of her?"
"A little."
"What do they say?"
"Why, just..." The question caught me off balance. "They told me you were married at festival time."
"Nothing more?" The curve of his eyebrows told me he knew there had to be more.
They also say the marriage settlement was eight cows." I paused.
"They wonder why."
"They ask that?" His eyes lightened with pleasure. "Everyone in Kiniwata knows about the eight cows?"
I nodded.
"And in Nurabandi everyone knows it too." His chest expanded with satisfaction. "Always and forever, when they speak of marriage settlements, it will be remembered that Johnny Lingo paid eight cows for Sarita."
So that’s the answer, I thought: vanity.

And then I saw her. I watched her enter the room to place flowers on the table. She stood still a moment to smile at the young man beside me. Then she went swiftly out again. She was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. The lift of her shoulders, the tilt of her chin the sparkle of her eyes all spelled a pride to which no one could deny her the right. I turned back to Johnny Lingo and found him looking at me. "You admire her?" he murmured. "She...she’s glorious. But she’s not Sarita from Kiniwata," I said.

"There’s only one Sarita. Perhaps she does not look the way they say she looked in Kiniwata." "She doesn’t. I heard she was homely. They all make fun of you because you let yourself be cheated by Sam Karoo."
"You think eight cows were too many?" A smile slid over his lips. "No. But how can she be so different?"
"Do you ever think," he asked, "what it must mean to a woman to know that her husband has settled on the lowest price for which she can be bought? And then later, when the women talk, they boast of what their husbands paid for them. One says four cows, another maybe six. How does she feel, the woman who was sold for one or two?" This could not happen to my Sarita."
"Then you did this just to make your wife happy?"
"I wanted Sarita to be happy, yes. But I wanted more than that. You say she is different This is true. Many things can change a woman. Things that happen inside, things that happen outside. But the thing that matters most is what she thinks about herself. In Kiniwata, Sarita believed she was worth nothing. Now she knows she is worth more than any other woman in the islands." "Then you wanted -"
"I wanted to marry Sarita. I loved her and no other woman."
"But —" I was close to understanding.
"But," he finished softly, "I wanted an eight-cow wife."

I read this story years ago and it recently came back to mind a few days ago while talking to a friend who seemed to have forgotten her value and worth.

I was very pleased to find a version of it online.

I think it could easily be titled the 8 cow husband.

A BS needs to remember they are worth 8 cows.

"Do you ever think," he asked, "what it must mean to a woman to know that her husband has settled on the lowest price for which she can be bought?"

Lil, I just LOVE this story.

In fact, slight TJ -

I have a good friend from southern Mexico who just left yesterday to go back there to get married. I explained the story in my horrible Spanish.

Remember that I have the herd of cows there? Well, anyway, the customs in their village is that the groom has to pay for the marriage celebration with a barbecue of a half cow. I have been telling him, better to spend money on building a home.

However after reading your story, I understand the idea. So he is going to provide 2 cows for the celebration.

Later, the house will be built.

Fabulous story! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING IT!

What a great insightful story.

It's a shame my H settled for a pig. oops. I mean she is a pig.

signed the 9 cow wife that he threw away.

This story kicks tail!

I just e-mailed to my WW...and told her she is my NINE-cow wife! Okay, she's been a chit for 3-6 months of this affair...but she's still my cow...er, cow-wife...oh, 9 cow wife

LOL, DNUI!!!!!!!!!1

I'm going to hold out to be a 10 cow wife.

Seriously, I'm holding out for lots of cows.

I don't know what it is about this story because it seems so 3rd world. But it speaks to me.

My ex wasn't willing to pay with cows.

My gentleman caller wanted me to give HIM cows.

I'll just stay solo until someone comes down the street with a herd of cows.

Pre-A I felt like my husband considered me a 10-cow wife.

I don't think I will ever feel that precious again.

SMB - From what I've seen, you should feel precious to him.

Yeah, I know.

OMG I read this story this morning and said these same words. I want to be that.... can my fwh or any fws EVER repair the damage that will allow for their BS to hold those feelings... to truly feel like the 10-cow wife... is it possible and if not what am I still doing in this mess???

havingfaith

So does TST need to buy some cows?

I am going to read this to my DH.

I have read this before and even referenced it ,but have not had a copy of it.

I feel the same as smb and havingfaith. Before the A, I felt like a 10 cow wife. It was very important to me and I had specifically waited to marry a man who made me feel that way. It is the BIGGEST thing that I have lost since the A. I don't know if it's EVER posible to get that back and I don't know what to do about that. I do not believe that my H understands in any kind of meaningful way what it is to me to lose that feeling of being THE special one. I have tried to explain it but I don't think it has gotten through.

This story reminds me of some people I used to know. The wife was supermodel gorgeous. Turned heads everywhere. Then she was in a horrible car accident that burned her and left her severely disfigured. She still turned heads but for different reasons. BUT....she still maintained a very active social life. She did not care what ANYONE thought. Her H still thought she was beautiful and made sure EVERYONE knew it. Definitely an 8 cow wife.

Before the A I knew I was an 8 cow wife. Just knew it.

During the A I felt that I couldnt get a diseased bovine carcass thrown at me if I wanted it.

Now I think I am worth a few cows, not sure I 'feel' valued quite up to 8. Mind you one of the things Flick offered to do in early recovery was buy me a herd of cows... about 200 of them

(For the people who don't know me; the offer was not because of this story, it was just so I could own my own herd instead of milking other peoples)

I just learned of this story; my husband and I were talking in bed and he looked at me sincerely and said "you are worth more than 8 cows". Not knowing the Johnny Lingo legend, I asked him what that meant and he told me the story in his version.

What I take away from this is; a woman's worth can be built up or torn down by her husband and how she views herself will be the self-fulfilling prophecy that she has believed. If her husband thinks of her as being "worth more than 8 cows" when the going "rate" is perhaps 1-2 cows...that shows that husband's esteem and respect toward his wife and the understanding of HIS influence upon her. A woman grows more beautiful when she is loved.

My dear hubby then went on to say; he was willing to have paid more than 10 cows for me. Yes, I feel pretty precious...

As a cow, I am deeply offended by this story.

LOL Mike!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I questioned my cows throughly, and they assure me they were not at all offended; and are avaiable for use in courtship alternatives to roses and diamonds.