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Joined: Apr 2001
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This caller's wife has been in a 2 year affair and the man never exposed. He has kept it a secret the whole time and she is now leaving him for the OM. Part 1

Part 11 - "It's very difficult to overcome an affair when you become an enabler."


Dr Harley telling BTintrouble to "expose the heck out of this affair" and do not offer forgiveness. here

Interesting call from a BH who did nothing to save his marriage and has greatly diminished his chances of recovery:Part 1
Part 11


Dr Harley tells unsuspecting man that his wife is having an affair: Part 1
Part 11

Can the marriage recover from an affair even though the affairees still work together? Dr Harley answers in this radio clip

...........this radio clip is the typical outcome when a couple does not move away from the OP. [when they live close by] This WH, Bob, and his OW lived a mile apart and the affair has been on and off for 3 1/2 years. The BW is now divorcing him and their little boy is severely depressed. This is what happens when one ignores Dr Harley's recommendations for NO CONTACT FOR LIFE. We have seen this happen over and over again on the SAA board over the years.Part 1 Part 11 Part 111

Plan A and Plan B discussion: Part 1 Part 1 Part 11

Harley discusses "affairages"

Angry thoughts about OM after divorce: Part 1 Part 11

Dr Harley's Radio Show on Pregnancy from an Affair

Is adultery justified when your spouse is critically ill? here

This is an excellent call because the husband is being gaslighted by his wayward wife. Dr. Harley gives him some great advice:Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

A person can "release anger" without forgiving the OP. What you are talking about is some feel good fake forgiveness and not real forgiveness. Dr Harley discussed this on his radio show recently:

Forgiveness Part 1

Forgiveness Part 11

Forgiveness of the WS addressed here:
Part 1 Part 11

and another: here

Radio clips about traveling jobs: here
another one, go to email #2: here

Wife having lesbian affair: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Dr Harley explains why "PLan C" for compromise is the worst possible plan: here

"Midlife crisis" is a form of denial on the part of the betrayed spouse: here

"Don't put up with the OM" Dr Harley to a BH
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/radio_program/play_segment.cfm?sid=2964
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/radio_program/play_segment.cfm?sid=2965

Confront the OM: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/radio_program/play_segment.cfm?sid=3822#


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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dance2

Thank you Mel.
kiss



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That was a great idea you had! And I hope others add theirs too. It is so nice because now we can actually link to the clip and post it.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
That was a great idea you had! And I hope others add theirs too. It is so nice because now we can actually link to the clip and post it.

hurray

Nice work Mel.

If they don't come-a-running and feed this baby, keep it alive, please!


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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I love the clips.
I listen to the rebroadcast of the show every day.
Helps me disapate general anxiety and stay focused on the best way to deal with having been betrayed.
The radio show is gold. True gold.







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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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If anyone wants to get Dr Harley's advice, send an email to Joyce at mbradio@marriagebuilders.com and she will contact you about being on the radio. If you don't want to be on the radio they will answer your email on the radio.

This is all FREE and they will send you a free book if you are on the radio.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Bumping for greenbelt.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Great clips. Thanks Mel.


BH(Me)=40
WXW=38
ILYBNILWY: 8/09
DDAY: 8/31/09
Two boys: 8,7
Divorced 3/23/2011

Don't let your eyes refuse to see. Don't let your ears refuse to hear. Or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness. --Ray Lamontagne
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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Dr. Harley explains his very important concept, Type A and Type B resentment:

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/radio_program/play_segment.cfm?sid=3274


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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I would really like to see some clips in here about emotional affairs .. and how they are just as destructive as physical ones especially if the EA is being committed by the WW. I did a search .. but the results are not very good. So maybe someone has some specific clips that really hit home on this subject.

MNG

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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by MrNiceGuy
I would really like to see some clips in here about emotional affairs .. and how they are just as destructive as physical ones especially if the EA is being committed by the WW. I did a search .. but the results are not very good. So maybe someone has some specific clips that really hit home on this subject.

MNG

Here's a good one about an emotional affair. It is also a great one because Dr. Harley talks about an affair not ending the way it should and the importance of exposure.

Radio clip on an Emotional Affair
Segment #2
Segment #3


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101



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