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#2269450 - 11/04/09 12:49 PM
Re: Husband wants to be divorced FAST.
[Re: Traci_S]
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Member
Registered: 10/30/07
Posts: 9655
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Then I would say just go ahead with the divorce. You'll probably find you're happier once it's over and he's not jerking you around. You'll probably also find that he comes crawling back once his money runs out and she ditches him for a man WITH money.
At THAT point, if you want him back, you'll be in a great place to set all kinds of conditions. Starting with a pre-nup.
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#2269794 - 11/04/09 08:22 PM
Re: Husband wants to be divorced FAST.
[Re: catperson]
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Junior Member
Registered: 10/22/09
Posts: 20
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That is what everyone at work tells me to do. To at least protect myself and if and when he comes back then I would be in the driver's seat. Funny thing is he has no money now, but she is probably getting money from her husband. Her husband just filed for divorce in Oct and his family has money including his step-father. It probably hasn't set in yet that she is going to have to struggle real soon. That is the one reason I know it won't work because she is use to having someone take care of her her whole life. She has never been on her own.
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#2269802 - 11/04/09 08:32 PM
Re: Husband wants to be divorced FAST.
[Re: Traci_S]
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Member
Registered: 03/20/09
Posts: 291
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Traci,
Start focusing on what you want and move away from their drama. It is the healthiest thing you can do for yourself, physically and mentally.
Gg
_________________________
BS - Recovered - took 2 yrs.
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#2270886 - 11/07/09 10:39 AM
Re: Husband wants to be divorced FAST.
[Re: gg615]
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Junior Member
Registered: 10/22/09
Posts: 20
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Now my WH wants me to refinance the house and my car before we are divorced to get his name off the loans. I have great interest rates right now, but maybe if I refinance the house and add the car and what few other bills I have into it I can come out ahead. Even if the interest rate isn't as great as it is now, maybe in a few years I can refinance at a better a rate and fewer years. Right now my WH thinks he isn't having an affair since we are seperated and going to get a divorce. Boy, is he stupid. He said we are not getting back together even if his relationship doesn't work out. That is what they all say at the beginning and he has been gone for less than 4 months and right now everything is new and rosy.
BW-me 44yrs
WH-him 47yrs
OW 26yrs with a 2 and 3yr old
married 20yrs
together 21yrs
DD 21yrs
DD 19yrs
D-Day#1 discovered cell phone calls 6/30/2009
D-Day#2 7/26/2009
WH left 7/25/2009
WH moved in with OW 7/29/2009
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#2270958 - 11/07/09 02:42 PM
Re: Husband wants to be divorced FAST.
[Re: Traci_S]
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Member
Registered: 04/19/06
Posts: 852
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Hi Traci_S
If you live in a community property state you won't be able to refinance with him on the loan without a "quit claim deed" that he signs. This is a form that he signs saying that he quits any claim to the property or assets that are currently in both names.
Hope this helps.
Hang in there!
_________________________
johnstwin-
"I may not know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future." -Martin Luther
Remarried my FXH 25 years to the day of our first M. God is so good-and sometimes so unexpected!
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#2271084 - 11/08/09 08:27 AM
Re: Husband wants to be divorced FAST.
[Re: Traci_S]
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Member
Registered: 10/30/07
Posts: 9655
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Don't do it! Don't do ANYTHING he asks for, because he is wayward. And waywards think of nothing but themselves, so whatever he asks for is to help himself, at YOUR expense. He doesn't CARE if it hurts you because he's justified in his mind that there's something wrong with you, so you deserve it.
Remember, this is NOT your husband! It's an alien in his body, and if he ever gets 'clean' he'll be horrified at what he's doing to you right now.
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#2272513 - 11/11/09 12:56 PM
Re: Husband wants to be divorced FAST.
[Re: catperson]
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Junior Member
Registered: 10/22/09
Posts: 20
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Haven't heard anything else from my WH on the divorce. For someone who wants it fast he hasn't flled out his paperwork and given me the paperwork we are to fill out together to split our assets. That is the only thing I need to fill out now. I will probably hear from him when I least expect it.
I seem to have these feelings that come over me that let me know when things are goingto be good for me. I have had them happen to me several times over the years and and those have been great years and I have had at least one that let me know that it was going to be a not so good year. Unfortunately I did not have a warning this year. Yesterday as I was thinking about my WH I had this great feeling come over me and a sense of peace and I knew everything was going to be all right in the coming year. This means things will go my way.
BS-me 44yrs
WH-him 47yrs
OW 26yrs with a 2 and 3yr old
married 20yrs
together 21yrs
DD 21yrs
DD 19yrs
D-Day#1 found cell phone calls 6/30/2009
D-Day#2 7/26/2009
WH left 7/25/2009
WH moved in with OW 7/29/2009
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#2274283 - 11/15/09 10:00 AM
Re: Husband wants to be divorced FAST.
[Re: Traci_S]
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Junior Member
Registered: 10/22/09
Posts: 20
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It has been 9 days since I have heard anything from my WH. For someone who wants a divorce as soon as he can get one he sure isn't doing anything. I have already filled out my paperwork including the one we are suppose to fill out together. I want him to fill out the marital settlement agreement first so I can see what he is trying to get before I fill out his copy. It only took me me 30 minutes to fill out all the paperwork and it was easy. I am not going to contact him about this since I never wanted a divorce to begin with.
Last time I heard from him 9 days ago he wrote that I thought he was having an affair and that he was happy. I wanted to laugh and then I almost got a headache trying to figure out how he thought he wasn't having an affair. He also said even if it didn't work out he wasn't coming back home and we weren't reconciling. My Dad said now why would he say that if he wasn't having second thoughts already. I realize they all say they are happy and are not coming back in the beginning and it hasn't even been 4 months yet. I know several women whose husbands said the exact same thing to them and they were back in less than a year. I've decided that I will keep busy with redecorating the house and furthering my education until he decides what he wants because to be truthful, I want my husband back.
BW-me 44yrs
WH-him 47yrs
OW 26yrs with a 2 and 3yr old and still married
married 20yrs
together 21yrs
DD 21yrs
DD 19yrs
D-Day#1 discovered cell phone calls 6/30/2009
D-Day#2 7/26/2009
WH left 7/25/2009
WH moved in with OW 7/29/2009
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#2275337 - 11/17/09 11:45 AM
Re: Husband wants to be divorced FAST.
[Re: Traci_S]
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Junior Member
Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 9
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Traci, how's it going? I like to follow your thread, as it is very similar to my own story. Are you still feeling better about things? Keep me posted.
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#2275663 - 11/17/09 09:00 PM
Re: Husband wants to be divorced FAST.
[Re: fellspointmom]
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Junior Member
Registered: 10/22/09
Posts: 20
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I have had such a great day today. I felt like I was on top of the world. I have been so happy for the past 3 days. I was like my old self today. When I got home from work and checked my email I was scared that I would have an email from my WH, but I didn't. It seems everytime I start feeling better he would ruin it but he hasn't so far and I refuse to let him do that anymore. It seems ever since I told him to hurry up and fill out his divorce paperwork and let me me fill out that one form we have to fill out together I haven't heard from him. I also told him that I already had mine filled out and I also told him that I wanted to hurry up and get divorced so I wouldn't have to see or hear from him again. It seems that I have called his bluff. Everyone thinks that he likes having 2 women wanting him and now that he thinks that I don't care he is having 2nd thoughts and doesn't want to have that divorce as much. My father said he must be having second thoughts or he wouldn't have said "even if it doesn't work out" with the OW. Right now all I am worried about is me and he is second. I know that his affair will not last and that when and if he does come back I have to be strong.
BW-me 44yrs
WH-him 47yrs
OW 26yrs with a 2 and 3yr old and still married
married 20yrs
together 21yrs
DD 21yrs
DD 19yrs
D-Day#1 discovered cell phone calls 6/30/2009
D-Day#2 7/26/2009
WH left 7/25/2009
WH moved in with OW 7/29/2009
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