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#2340052 - 03/19/10 10:23 PM 50 signs your spouse is having an Affair
lildoggie Offline
Member

Registered: 04/29/08
Posts: 4698
Loc: New Zealand
Taken from an archive only thread by Triumph2
Original thread here
Feel free to add to it.

50 Indicators of Infidelity.

1. A sudden upturn in their demeanor or outlook on life.
2. Constantly late.
3. More possessive toward wallet, pocket calendar or briefcase.
4. Comes home more often with alcohol on breath.
5. Starts talking about getting together with old friends they haven't seen in years.
6. Starts shopping for new clothes.
7. Starts taking a renewed interest in their appearance.
8. Starts keeping an overnight bag in their car or office, ostensibly for a workout or a game of tennis.
9. Orders dishes or new household items never ordered before.
10. Does not look at other women/men as much as they used to.
11. Starts working late and on holidays and weekends.
12. Express opinions on subjects that they never had an interest in.
13. Takes a new interest in anticipated schedule.
14. Encourages you to visit parents or friends alone.
15. They give you gifts that show a new level of taste or insight about the opposite sex.
16. Car is kept free of paraphernalia belonging to you or the kids.
17. Starts attending extended seminars or conventions.
18. Start using new words and phrases.
19. At odd hours they start remembering things they forgot to do at the office.
20. They suggest that you open up separate checking accounts.
21. Often forget to wear wedding ring.
22. Takes the dog for much longer walks.
23. Makes more phone calls late at night.
24. A marked change of attitude towards secretary, colleagues or friends.
25. Suddenly takes up new hobbies or friends that take them out of the house in the evenings and weekends.
26. They talk about a movie they've seen but you have not.
27. They insist on answering the phone.
28. They call out a different name in sleep.
29. Smell of a different soap from the brand at home and/or you smell freshly showered at 1.00am.
30. They care about how breath smells. New mints, gum, etc. found around house.
31. Uses pre-paid calling card/pager/cell phone for the first time ever.
32. Loses a lot of weight and seems proud of new body.
33. Saddest list item is: change in die-hard pro-life feelings on abortion.
34. Gut feeling. The biggest indicator of an affair is just feeling that it is so.
35. Juvenile behavior and music interests!!!
36. Uses more kid slang than the kids!!!!!
37. Knows all the new pop singers and has CD's.
38. When they lose stuff they accuses you of gettting into their "stuff"....
39. Uses the ATM way too much!
40. All of a sudden, their attitude about people who cheat changes, e.g., "we shouldn't judge because we don't know their whole story."
41."It wasn't a dinner date - it was just a way of saying thank you for carpooling"
42."I never lied about being married - she never asked me, so I just didn't bring it up"
43. Grocery shopping and other excuses to get out "alone."
44.The one difference is that my Wife wants our kids to like the other person because in the back of her head she thinks she will be with him. Very sickening. !!!!!!!!!!!
45. Carries toothpaste, toothbrush, mouthwash at all times.
46. When other person is co-worker, can't wait to get to work each day .
47. Becomes great friends with people going through divorce.
48. Defends other who are/have/will cheat(ed/ing).
49. Distances themselves from those with strong (any) moral values.
50. Gets "coded" pager messages at all times of the day and night
_________________________
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday laugh

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#2340110 - 03/20/10 07:38 AM Re: 50 signs your spouse is having an Affair [Re: lildoggie]
Pariah Offline
Member

Registered: 04/12/06
Posts: 2037
51. Tries to have someone kill you
_________________________
I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house top.

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#2340117 - 03/20/10 09:19 AM Re: 50 signs your spouse is having an Affair [Re: Pariah]
Justlooking24 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 335
#33 is so sad and also true.

Some of the intercepted emails between my wife and her "friends" said that if my wife got pregnant she would just get an abortion.

This from a lifelong pro-life very religious person.
_________________________
BH: 46
FWW: 44
3 DD: 20,17,11
Married 24 years
PA/EA: 5/08
DDay: 6/08
NC: 8/08
Previous EA 1998 confessed 8/08
In Recovery

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#2340120 - 03/20/10 09:37 AM Re: 50 signs your spouse is having an Affair [Re: Justlooking24]
MicheleG Offline
Member

Registered: 06/14/05
Posts: 1496
#52 Starts to spend a great deal of time on the computer in a separate room.

#53 Phone bill goes up.

I don't think either of these are on there.
_________________________
BW(me)
DDay EA 4/05
DDay PA 6/05
In recovery

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#2340121 - 03/20/10 09:44 AM Re: 50 signs your spouse is having an Affair [Re: MicheleG]
Carka Offline
Member

Registered: 01/21/10
Posts: 158
#54 Loses patience with spouse easily.
My husband did this with me.

#55 Becomes very defensive.
_________________________
Me: BW
DH: Had a 2yr. affair with my brother's wife.
D Day 11-10-09
Working hard on recovery!

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#2340125 - 03/20/10 10:15 AM Re: 50 signs your spouse is having an Affair [Re: Carka]
Going_Forward Offline
Member

Registered: 02/27/07
Posts: 478
#5 CONSTANTLY criticizes his or her BS.

#57 Confuses the term "happy" with the term "self gratfication"
_________________________
Marriages don't fail, people do. (And I don't recall who said it)

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#2340126 - 03/20/10 10:23 AM Re: 50 signs your spouse is having an Affair [Re: Going_Forward]
Pariah Offline
Member

Registered: 04/12/06
Posts: 2037
#56 Becomes extremely religious (remember "god" wants them to be "happy")
_________________________
I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house top.

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#2340128 - 03/20/10 10:35 AM Re: 50 signs your spouse is having an Affair [Re: lildoggie]
Tom2010 Offline
Member

Registered: 03/09/10
Posts: 982
No. 26. That has not happened to me, but Ow!

No. 58. Does not remind you of your drs. sppt. coming up; Forgets you even have a drs. appt.

No. 59. Asks passively how your day was, then quickly changes the subject.

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#2340139 - 03/20/10 11:34 AM Re: 50 signs your spouse is having an Affair [Re: Tom2010]
Bob_Pure Offline
Member

Registered: 07/26/04
Posts: 10106
Loc: England,United Kingdom
60. Encourages spouse to "get out more" and to " get a life".
_________________________
__________________________________________________
Me BH 49
Squid FWW 49
Squid had an entangled PA in 2004.
The wise heads here helped me learn and apply MB.
I am personally recovered. My wife is not interested in recovering further.

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#2340141 - 03/20/10 11:35 AM Re: 50 signs your spouse is having an Affair [Re: Tom2010]
SidneyT Offline
Member

Registered: 11/05/03
Posts: 383
#61. Changes ring tone on phone to silent (to silence the MANY texts and calls coming in daily) and never puts their phone down...even when going to the bathroom or sleeping.


Edited by SidneyT (03/20/10 11:36 AM)

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