For example...if he were to pick up the phone and call you would you answer??? Can he still email you IF and WHEN he wants? Could he stop by if he wanted??? Do you try or long to see him or catch glimpses of him???
yes, he knows how to reach me - email, text. i think he's blocked my number from his phone.
yes, he knows where i live. we sold our dream home and went our separate ways. we both purchased separate homes.
in the last 3 months, i probably ran into him 3 times but i did not look at him. the last time we exchanged words was 3 months ago.
2. Your wish to have no contact whatsoever until such time is he is willing and ready to work on reconciliation
he did not want to go to counselling or work on reconciliation. in his mind, our differences were too great that no amount of counselling was going to fix it. he didn't even try.
i'm not sure if he's lost. his mother has an anxiety disorder in which she catastrophasizes everything. everything will result in death. how h's father might have a heart attack and die, how driving to the store in the rain could result in a horrific car accident, how eating leftovers can kill you, due to the bacteria growing. when you don't comply, she cries and cries until she gets her way because "she's only trying to help". when i kindly told her she didn't have to do any laundry duties at our home, she told my h that i hated her and that i was mad at her and i made her feel unwelcomed. all because i told her she didn't have to do any of my h's laundry.
she tells my h that she thinks the world of me but yet i make her feel unwelcomed. and it's manipulating statements like that, is what made my h side with her. she constantly tells my h that she can't live without him. that he's all she has and that she never wants to leave him. all while crying her eyes out.
i've never made him choose. i just can't believe she took him away from me. i didn't yell or display any displeasure. how did my words get twisted like that?
You've fought for him and the marriage long enough and it's time to put it in God's hands
i tried and despite being treated like a doormat, i stuck with my marriage. i didn't believe in divorce. i still don't.
you have no idea how much shame i feel. i am so ashamed of myself that i could not look God in the eyes. i didn't betray my h .. why am i the most hated person in his eyes?
you continue on as though he ain't coming back restoring and rebuilding yourself emotionally and physically to continue in this wonderful world on your own.
that's what i've been doing.
when he dropped the bomb on me, i started a new job. i didn't waver. i put my feelings aside, found my own place to live, arranged my own move, and handled things for myself without any help. i'm living in a city with no family or close friends. so it's all on me.
i've received no financial support from my h. i am doing it on my own. i'm determined to come out the other end on my own two feet. i've always been the strong one in our marriage.
i've continued to work on me. i go to the gym to do weight training. i take pilates. i also play a lot of squash. i also found time to learn how to bake and i'm a darn good cook. from a professional standpoint, i've also started participating in the local chapter of Toastmasters. despite going through a d, i've done well in my job. you couldn't tell that i was going through something so devastating as this. i have hid it well but i'm starting to crack a bit.
check. i've been doing pretty good in this area. you know, as soon as the ring came off, i got asked out by four different guys.
"your husband is weak and if a weak man can break your spirit he'll be unlikely to be attracted back to you (weakness see's value in strength/confidence)
no, a momma's boy is never going to change. why are you wasting your precious time on scum? d-file and move on, honey. i have one supporter who believes that there is still hope.
I don't know if the 180's say date others...but such would be strongly discouraged over here on MB -- On MB you are married until you aren't.
i almost did. but before i do anything, i always ask myself .. if i do this, will i be able to look God in the eyes? if the answer is no, i don't do it. and dating is something i couldn't do. i couldn't look God in the eyes.
was the divorce filed and you are just waiting to be served???
i asked my l and my l said you will know when your h has filed for d because h has to physically serve you with papers. i have not yet been served. but it's agonizing sitting here wondering every day whether today is the day i get served. sometimes i want to file, just to save my own sanity.
if you can, please pray for me. i am hurting a great deal. i feel so much shame because i couldn't keep my marriage intact. i cannot bring myself to go home and face my family and friends. i don't know anybody who has d-ed. i'd be the first among my friends. what did i do?