Men who go to prostitutes and/or view porn to get themselves off!

*No man learned how to give a real woman pleasure from a hooker/porn.

*Men who visit hookers/porn don't 'go there' intending to give a woman pleasure.

*Men who pay for sex have learned dishonesty during the sex act.

*Men who go to hookers/porn do not learn how to kiss properly.

*Hookers/porn do not require a man learn tender foreplay.

*Hookers/porn requires no intimacy.

*Men who go to hookers/porn are self-focused.

*Men who go to hookers/porn are all about the ending, not the process.

*Men who go to hookers/porn do not make love. They ejaculate.

*Men who go to hookers/porn do not know how to make soulful eye contact during lovemaking.

*Men who go to hookers/porn have unrealistic expectations that their wife should look like & perform as if she was a hooker/porn star.

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This, and much more, make them LOUSY in bed.

Men who go to hookers/porn learn to screw, not to make love.

Agree!!!!!

This is my experience with my X vs. my dh....totally different.

And the chips are soggy.

And, oh so stale.

Thanks Pep - this is so refreshing. My struggle has been on my WH have a great sex life with the wh0re, and I know he can't because he and I were one.

You cannot have great sex when you steal the body and murder the soul. Jesus told us let no man divide.

Dr. Harley has such a great approach to solve so many issues, and I look forward to the day I can put his great teachings into practice.

Pepperband,
Correct on all points.

I think its important to remember that Porn is an insidious, long term killer. It starts out with National Geographic or Sunday ads and slowly ramps up to the hell you describe. In fact the "world" encourages guys to treat women like porn stars. It's the exact opposite of what God designed sex to be. Its all about "me" and not your partner or the woman on the screen.

Another point is how boys grow up. Without a strong, Christian father figure to teach a boy how to treat women and wives they boys will turn to the bad influences like Playboy or such.

And this lousy-in-bed hooker/porn using husband husband might even lament the following about his betrayed wife:

.... and never ONCE has this lousy-in-bed limp Dorito chip ever asked himself if he sexually satisfies his wife

How about just a strong father figure?

I had an awfully strong father figure, and I still got involved in porn.

Maybe it was the lack of a mother figure!

Maybe it's just a temptation that's out there to grab anybody it can reach.

Frankly, I think if you are never taught to respect the bodies of men and women--doesn't matter who teaches you, IMO--that it can happen either way.

Open for business .... LOL

LoveIs, tell him you can't forgive if he isn't repenting.

And ask him to read Dr. Harley's article on Just Compensation.

Maybe I can add my two cents, maybe even twenty cents due to inflation. I think the way men and women operate are totally different. For a man it is about the conquest and the supposed victory when he can take a lot of women to bed. Men somehow feel that this will make him a man amongst the boys.

But, Oh boy, don�t expect him to marry a prostitute � what is his preference � he want to marry a virgin.
Now my question � how the hell will you be able to find virgins if you want to conquer all virgins before marriage and how can you expect what you are not willing or cannot give.

Make no mistake, from roundabout age fourteen (Hmmmmmm now I am talking a long, long, long time ago, heck that make me sound like donkey in Shrek), men have only two things on their mind - cars and girls, obviously at that age they cannot afford cars so they opt for the girls. But way in the day there were certain rules of �engagement� � you can look but not touch and yes we sure looked but that is where it stayed.

Nowadays it seems that these rules of �engagement� do not apply anymore. A man that want to stay a virgin until marriage is frowned upon, as if something is seriously wrong and he does not possess the masculinity that is expected of the male species.

Women wanted a man that can love them, support them and make them feel secure, he must be her protector not her conqueror. Yea, they knew how to tease men without been trashy, but that was part of the ritual for men and women to find the perfect match. There were respect for oneself and for each other.

I am afraid that the game changed totally, the rules of �engagement� changed or do not apply anymore because instead of the hunter, the man, became the hunted. The delicate process of mate finding and flirting seems to be flying out the window.

It seems more like a business transaction rather than a delicate and beautiful dance of love and enchantment. That is why, at the first sign of trouble divorce seems to be the best and only option.
Unfortunately this did not learn them the skills to negotiate and compromise and consider each others feelings. This lack of skill is apparent in the business world as well, it is a matter of eat or be eaten. I am not sure where this attitude started � from businessmen and women taking this attitude home and implemented it into there daily lives or vice versa.

Nevertheless, this inability or lack to negotiate and compromise, leave the love that is left in sheds and the husband start to lookup other places to have his sexual needs met. I deliberately do not name this SF because this is not fulfillment � fulfillment is the met of the physical and emotional need of SF. There is no way that this prostitute can fulfill the emotional need of SF.

And let be frank � the physical fulfillment last only a day or two but the emotional fulfillment of SF last a lifetime.

This inability to satisfy the emotional part of SF make them rotten lovers. Without the emotional part of SF this is nothing more than self satisfaction of visiting a prostitute. The outcome is the same. You are still left empty after such a visit.

Well 'ol aunt Pep, what is your point? The vast majority of people already know this. Yea I know, there are porn sites out there and prostitutes etc etc. But, for some reason, you seem to have chosen this topic for a reason. The reason I react now is that you seem to generlize! The male friends I have, I cannot imagine they would fall into this.

I do believe that the majority of men are more concerned with attmpting to provide for their families, rather than cheap tricks. Temptations, yea! I sorr of realize that you are attmepting to refer to a small percerntage of men, but you just seem very bitter for whatever reason.

Tom

Bitter! There it is - that word again! If you don't share a point of view, you call the poster "bitter"!

Pep wasn't posting to your male friends, Tom. She was (at least partly) posting to WHs who turn up on the Surviving an Affair forum having used pornography and prostitutes before, and sometimes during, marriage. They claim that their needs were not met by their BWs and that this is why they became wayward, but they need to take a look at the sources from where they constructed their "needs": rent-a-poke tarts and airbrushed, two-dimensional fantasies who do not answer back.