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I cannot tell you how much this post means to me.


Originally Posted By: Mortarman


Sounds like you are doing the battle plan. So, let me just nibble around the edges.

As I eluded to above, make sure you include taking care of you. Remember, the first rule of combat is "take care of yourself." Why? Because if you dont, then you are no good to anyone else. Your kids (and maybe even your WW) are counting on you to be there. So, make sure you do the little things that take care of you.

Second, you might want to shorten your prayers. Jesus sees you. He is standing right there with you. The betrayal you feel, He feels also...because your wife has not only betrayed you, she has betrayed Him. He weeps as you do.

Instead, my prayers got shorter as time went on...well, let me clarify that. I talk to Jesus constantly. That is the relationship part of the two of us. But when I say I shortened my prayers, I mean that I stopped with the laundry list of requests. He knows what I need.

All I ask now is two things. Number one is that His will be done, not mine. And number two, that he shows me walls and doors. Walls and doors are nothing but this...

In the Bible, it says that He is a lamp unto our feet. What does that mean? Well, in that day, the lamp they were talking about was a lamp with a candle in it...illuminating the path of a traveller at night. Well, how far does a candle illuminate? Not too far! Maybe a few steps in front of you.

But I have NO IDEA what lies down the road. It might be a dead end. It might be a cliff. I have no clue. And that is the point! When I pray "walls and doors," I am saying to Him "Jesus, I can only see a few steps in front. I am trusting you. So, I will pray for you to show me walls and doors. If the path I am on, if the decision I am making is not YOUR will, then please put a wall in front of me so I dont go over the cliff. If it is your will, then show me a door to go through."

Since I have done that...since I have relinguished my will to control my path...guess what? I have gotten walls and doors.

So, when I have designs to do something...but then it just seems to be getting harder and harder to do...and I cant get it done...I look up and ask "is this a wall?" And I quickly find out that even though I wanted to do this thing, it wasnt His will. And so I thank him, make a left or right face (or even an about face sometimes)...and we continue.

My relationship with Christ is one of beginnings. He walks with me. At times I stumble. But instead of laughing at me, or admonishing me, He just reaches down, picks me up, dusts me off...and we begin again. One foot in front of the other.

This is where you need to get to. You CANNOT control what is going on in the foxhole next to you. All you can do is concentrate on what is between your sector stakes...and let God handle the rest.

One last thing...my favorite general of all time once said "Wisdom is nothing more than healed pain." General Robert E. Lee

You are about to become VERY wise.

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Originally Posted By: Mortarman
Oh, by the way...another way to know if it is a wall or door is if it leaves a knot on your forehead!!

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Originally Posted By: MM
Remember, the first rule of combat is "take care of yourself." Why? Because if you dont, then you are no good to anyone else.


Well, I finally get this.
The multiple knots on my head have 'illuminated' the correct choice.

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What I presumed was a 'wall' in my life is actually a door.

I would not have recognized this door if it were not for the knots.

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Quote:
His will be done, not mine.


Surrendering to God is the door.

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Originally Posted By: MM
You are about to become VERY wise.


I believe it is so.
My forehead knots tell me it is so.
smile

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Quote:
So, when I have designs to do something...but then it just seems to be getting harder and harder to do...and I cant get it done...I look up and ask "is this a wall?" And I quickly find out that even though I wanted to do this thing, it wasn't His will. And so I thank him, make a left or right face (or even an about face sometimes)...and we continue.


When I was in my 30's, I wanted something so much. It was so effortless for other women, but impossible for me. I tried and I tried.
It was not His will. A wall. A wall I hated. A wall I grieved.

Now, in my 60's, I discover that "No" from 30 years ago has allowed a door today.

I am amazed. I am grateful for that long ago wall of "No".

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Thank you mods! kiss

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I take comfort in knowing that those things came from my thread. They certainly make sense and mortarman is a wise man.


Me: BH 36
Her: WW 34
Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9
DDay 1-6/2009
DDay 2-9/2011
DDay 3-11/2011
Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011
Divorce final May 24, 2012
My Story



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An AMAZING post from mortarman that illuminates some if not all of life's hard lessons!
Thanks Mortarman


Me: BW (49)
He: FWW (39)
DS13
DD10

D-Day 4-5-11
NC 4-5-11
D-Day #2 July 13
NC July 14
FWW Rehab: July 14-Aug 6 2011
Relapse sept 2012
Plan B: Nov 6, 2012
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Originally Posted By: GJM
I take comfort in knowing that those things came from my thread. They certainly make sense and mortarman is a wise man.


Link to original

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Pep,
You don't need to make a link to my thread....I was just being appreciative.


Me: BH 36
Her: WW 34
Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9
DDay 1-6/2009
DDay 2-9/2011
DDay 3-11/2011
Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011
Divorce final May 24, 2012
My Story



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That link is for others, not you dummy.

kiss

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Originally Posted By: Pepperband
That link is for others, not you dummy.

kiss


Oh...lol

twoxfour


Me: BH 36
Her: WW 34
Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9
DDay 1-6/2009
DDay 2-9/2011
DDay 3-11/2011
Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011
Divorce final May 24, 2012
My Story



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Like!!!


Me: BS age 35
POS-eX-the SORRIEST, CRUELEST, LOWLY WAYWARD SCUMBAG out there
Married 14.5 years, together almost 16
DDay: 7-5-09
OC born: 7-23-09
no COM: tried 6 years frown
D filed 5/05/2011
D final 11/10/11
I was gaslighted for 2 years.

"You were not built for a safe story. Take risks and feel what it is like to actually be brave. It's worth it." Carlos Whittaker
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Thanks Pep for putting this up.

Quote:
So, when I have designs to do something...but then it just seems to be getting harder and harder to do...and I cant get it done...I look up and ask "is this a wall?" And I quickly find out that even though I wanted to do this thing, it wasnt His will. And so I thank him, make a left or right face (or even an about face sometimes)...and we continue.


M 29 yrs
DS 28 DD 18
Me 53 FWH FBS
MTA signed 5/11/2011
D final 5/16/2011

Free.... and going wherever the big guy wants me to go......Its a whole lot easier without the knots!

Last edited by nesre; 01/19/12 11:03 PM.

M 29 yrs
DS 28 DD 18
Me 53 FWH FBS
MTA signed 5/11/2011
D final 5/16/2011

Free.... and going wherever the big guy wants me to go......
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Props to Mortarman. I too learned much from this series of posts. It came at a time that was much needed. It opened my eyes, and stopped my headache. I may share more on my own thread soon, as soon as I get the courage. It was coming, and this has pushed me through the correct DOOR.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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Thank you, Pep and Mortarman for this.

I have been having a rough go of it lately, and to be honest, I felt like I had lost all faith. Now I know what to ask Him for.


FWW

"Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough." ~ Earl Wilson
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Bump


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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bump


Me, FWW: 43
Mr_Recon6mo, FWH: 44
DD20 and DS23
3 cats
Married 23 years, together 24
Divorcing

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