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There was an excellent show on 2-6-12 about lingering resentment after an affair. Harley makes the case that recovery has not been complete if resentment lingers.

Go to 9:00 into radio clip

continued here.....

edited to add: if you are too silly to hear these radio clips go to the archives and pull up the clips for 2-6 and you can hear the clips!

Last edited by MelodyLane; 02/07/12 05:58 PM.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Link did not work for me.

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Worked for me.

Very good points, all around.


"The #1 reason why people give up so quickly is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, rather than how far they've gotten."

Me, FBW(46) H, FWH (43)
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Quote
There was an excellent show on 2-6-12 about lingering resentment after an affair. - MelodyLane

Link did not work for me. - TheRoad

Worked for me. - SunnyDinTX

Hmmmmm, gender-specific internet availability - very curious!

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Originally Posted by NeverGuessed
Hmmmmm, gender-specific internet availability - very curious!

lashes

Can you MEN not figure out how to pull up the archive from 2-6?? sigh


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by NeverGuessed
Hmmmmm, gender-specific internet availability - very curious!

lashes

Can you MEN not figure out how to pull up the archive from 2-6?? sigh

Isn't that why we have women?


Celtic Voyager
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Originally Posted by celticvoyager
Isn't that why we have women?

sigh


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by NeverGuessed
Hmmmmm, gender-specific internet availability - very curious!

lashes

Can you MEN not figure out how to pull up the archive from 2-6?? sigh

I've never had any problem with it! Personally, I'm surprised the women know how to get around it.

I did not assume you were talking about men when you said "silly," that's all I'm saying...


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 17 years, who is a beautiful angel.
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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by celticvoyager
Isn't that why we have women?

sigh
I know I know ... You can lead me to water...


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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
There was an excellent show on 2-6-12 about lingering resentment after an affair. Harley makes the case that recovery has not been complete if resentment lingers.

Go to 9:00 into radio clip

continued here.....

edited to add: if you are too silly to hear these radio clips go to the archives and pull up the clips for 2-6 and you can hear the clips!

It was a good clip. I specially love the kudos to the moderators.

I also love that he says anyone can do it, but you have to make the choice to.


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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by celticvoyager
Isn't that why we have women?

sigh

I don't know why she goes around lettin out all the big I'm getting tired sighs. rant2

MelodyLane acts like how hard she works around here. MrRollieEyes

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Originally Posted by TheRoad
I don't know why she goes around lettin out all the big I'm getting tired sighs. rant2

MelodyLane acts like how hard she works around here. MrRollieEyes

sigh


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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I find Windows 7 has a hard time with the links. I use my Windows server to listen to everything. Works wonders!

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Can you MEN not figure out how to pull up the archive from 2-6??

It will just have to remain a mystery, like how to iron a shirt, or why "Oprah" wasn't cancelled after one show!

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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by NeverGuessed
Hmmmmm, gender-specific internet availability - very curious!

lashes

Can you MEN not figure out how to pull up the archive from 2-6?? sigh

HEE HEE!!!!!
smile

I don't have time to comment properly on the rest of this - headed out the door.

Alls I will say is this: when you men can drive, put on makeup, and drink a cup of coffee all at the same time, THEN I'll believe you're as talented as we are!!!

LOLOLOL


"The #1 reason why people give up so quickly is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, rather than how far they've gotten."

Me, FBW(46) H, FWH (43)
M - 21 yrs & counting
D (20)
S (18)
S (16)
Surviving and Thriving since November 2010 thanks to MB!
My Recovery Thread: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2538986#Post2538986
My Original Thread: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2457141&page=1

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This is a very interesting clip. I have a small problem understanding it though. In yesterdays's, Feb 7, radio show, Dr. Harley addresses a husband's independent behavior with gaming without his pregnant wife's enthusiastic agreement. Dr. Harley comments that if the husband continues the independent behavior, the wife will have a level of resentment that lasts for years.

Isn't a secret second life and an affair the mega-example of independent behavior? So, why wouldn't there be an expectation that there could still be resentment in the future?

AM


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Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
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Originally Posted by SunnyDinTX
Alls I will say is this: when you men can drive, put on makeup, and drink a cup of coffee all at the same time, THEN I'll believe you're as talented as we are!!!

I can drive, operate my MP3 player, text my wife, and take notes on what I'm listening to all at the same time.

laugh


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

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Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

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Originally Posted by markos
Originally Posted by SunnyDinTX
Alls I will say is this: when you men can drive, put on makeup, and drink a cup of coffee all at the same time, THEN I'll believe you're as talented as we are!!!

I can drive, operate my MP3 player, text my wife, and take notes on what I'm listening to all at the same time.

laugh

Whatevah.. ...

ArmyMama, can you go ask him on the weekendmforum?

That's right, SunnyD!!! hurray


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

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Actually, this is a very serious subject. My W discovered my A and other dalliances recently. Besides a long-term interest in porn (mostly on a computer), I had a short PA w someone that I worked closely with, over 10 yrs ago. She pretty much discovered my cheating ways with this person, within weeks after it ended. Since then, over the years, I've felt the need to see several prostitutes (about 9 times) and visited a few massage parlors for the full treatment. The first A, I really have no excuses for, the opportunity was there, and I did it. There was no love, maybe infatuation, but that person is long gone, and NC since. These more recent "events" I just felt a lack of SF from my W, and wandered out. Tried talking to her, but it didn't help much.
Now we've got a big mess on our hands. I've come clean on all of it, but she's pretty hurt. She has a long memory, and I'm at a loss as to how I'm going to fix this-I'm afraid she's going to hold a long grudge - she seems to be good at that. Any ideas?


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TheDudester, please start your own thread on the Surviving an Affair forum in the Infidelity section - you'll get a lot of help there.


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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