Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our discussion forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 3 of 3 1 2 3
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
bump

Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,448
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,448
Have learned a lot about documenting by trial and error but in the end my atty has told me my documentation is "excellent" so here are some tips:

~ Once I moved to Plan D and started getting the documentation organized, dealing with the texts were a nightmare. STBX sent so many texts (learned this after the fact) that my IM went over on her plan a couple of months and even had to start erasing some due to not having enough memory on her phone. They are harder to save, print, transfer, catalog. Having your IM use a designated email account for communications with WS is much much better.

Speaking of that designated email account, I have a couple different email accounts and gmail seems to be the easiest and there's no limit in how far back you can access the emails - so that's the one I would recommend to setup for your IM.

~ An MBer who has been through Plan D told me to document an event by writing it in an email to yourself. It will have the date and time stamped on it. Create a special folder in your email program to save these emails. I have also documented events by outlining what happened to the atty and putting into the same folder. She said this is also considered documentation (thought it might not be useable due to atty/client privilege but she said its OK).

~ Calendar recording visitation with the WS...I print off the visitation calendar twice, showing the "scheduled" visitations, stapling them together. I document on the first page basic information, if there was a cancellation, change made, the time they were dropped off, etc. On the second page, I use the same date for annotations. Ex) DD said STBX and OW fighting, see email to atty dated 3/18. I had to create a timeline of all the changes STBX has made for my lawyer and using this setup made it very easy.

~ Legal accordion folder, get one of these early on and just start filing things away. I have everything from financial records, timelines, court documents, copies of letters from STBX's lawyer to my lawyer, visitation records all in here. I have taken this to court and to lawyers' meetings and whipped out documents w/n seconds. Not to mention, it helps to calm your nerves to feel prepared.

~ Lawyers...another MBer who has been through D told me to do this, and I didn't follow through and am kicking myself now. Keep a log of all phone calls, meetings (length of time), emails, etc to compare to billing later. Her example was that her atty kept her waiting 20 mins at his office or something but then later charged her for that time which she, of course, disputed. I just got a lengthy bill and wish I had kept the log so that it would be easier for me to verify each line item...

~ iPhone & other apps/tools
Can't speak to other smartphones/apps but these together have just made my life very easy re documentation & preparing for court. If you take pictures (like of WS's car at OP's house), you can upload them to the Photobucket app, and it will have the time stamp on it and will save your picture in a third party location so that you don't have to worry about it being accidentally deleted. You can also do this with screenshots of things like FB postings or texting threads (you do this by pressing the home button and the wake button at the same time) I have done this with texts between my DD and myself when she is complaining about something going on with her father and OW.

I am madly in love with my HP wireless printer! How did I live without this? You can wireless print EVERYTHING (document, emails, pictures, texts) from your iPhone. I have the model that is also a fax & copy machine but I believe you can get some models without these extras in the low 100 range.

CamScanner is a nice app as well, it basically turns your iPhone into a scanner by taking a picture of a document and adjusting the light levels and converting into a PDF format.

HTH!!


Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Originally Posted by SusieQ
so here are some tips:

hurray

Some Q-tips !!!

Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,448
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,448
For iPhone, iPad and iMac users....

Just started using an app that I am crazy about, Day One journal. I am using it now to document everything that happens with my ex and his OW4 with their visitations with the kids.

It is basically a Facebook-like platform for journaling/documenting with a timeline and calendar view. You can attach pictures, sync through Dropbox, print entries, add links, export entries out through email (good if you want an official time stamp). It is very easy to use.


Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
That's GREAT Sus.

Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,709
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,709
bump


ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008

Recovered

Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 561
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 561
Not only did I document everything, but I also held onto my WW's passport and the children's passports.

She was having an affair with a guy overseas, and I didn't want her to flee there with the children.

Boy, when she found out I had her passport, her wayward head nearly exploded dramaqueen

Last edited by TryingEverything; 01/09/13 01:14 PM.

BH(Me)=40
WXW=38
ILYBNILWY: 8/09
DDAY: 8/31/09
Two boys: 8,7
Divorced 3/23/2011

Don't let your eyes refuse to see. Don't let your ears refuse to hear. Or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness. --Ray Lamontagne
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,448
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,448

This comment was made on another thread by a BH in response to posters asking he had documented incident/s regarding his WW and their child:

Quote
I don't understand the stress on documentation though. I live in a no-fault state. My lawyer said that the courts don't care except in extreme circumstances like physical abuse. Which there isn't any of.


This lawyer addresses ramifications of actions by divorcing parents even in "no fault" states with regards to custody (go to link to see full video):

Quote
CUSTODY

The standard for custody determination is a "best interest of the child" standard. A court looks at many factors and could look at a dating parent has thinking of their own needs first. A court could assume that the dating parent is not considering the desires of the child, and /or not giving the adequate time to a child and deem that the dating parent is not acting in the best interest of the child. Courts want to make sure kids are treated as a priority, cared for and in a close call the court will give custody to the parent who is available in time and mind to the child.


Read more: http://www.myfoxla.com/story/218229...bfore-the-divorce-is-final#ixzz2PF6SYWMS



Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,650
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,650
Good bump.

Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,806
Likes: 7
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,806
Likes: 7
In Plan B you need to change your number so you don't get text messages. Your IM can save all messages they get.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 17 years, who is a beautiful angel.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
Page 3 of 3 1 2 3

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 143 guests, and 84 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Convict20, GTNY, Avianna, BootsJeans, B24gordon
71,735 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,549
Posts2,322,799
Members71,735
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2020, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.  |  Web Development by SunStar Media.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5