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#2765380 - 11/11/13 03:22 AM I really want to save our marriage, help please
zfletcher Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 11/11/13
Posts: 6
Me and my wife have been together for 3 years. We are young and have two kids. This past year I got a job working offshore so im gone 28 days at a time. Last week she came to me and said that her feelings for me have gone away and shes wanting a divorce. Over the last two years I have been stressed with money issues and she said I closed up and stopped communicating with her and she has lost Intrest. I do not want a divorce and I know the things I have said or not said that was so bad. I always had to be right, I always dwelled on the past and her past. I want to work through this and be the husband she deserves but she has closed up to me and says she no longer loves me. We still talk and live together and she says she is trying but she doesnt think it will help. Is there any advice for me to spark the love again and work through this?

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#2765381 - 11/11/13 03:25 AM Re: I really want to save our marriage, help please [Re: zfletcher]
BrainHurts Offline
Member

Registered: 11/24/10
Posts: 15124
Loc: Moved to Uranus
Originally Posted By: zfletcher
Me and my wife have been together for 3 years. We are young and have two kids. This past year I got a job working offshore so im gone 28 days at a time. Last week she came to me and said that her feelings for me have gone away and shes wanting a divorce. Over the last two years I have been stressed with money issues and she said I closed up and stopped communicating with her and she has lost Intrest. I do not want a divorce and I know the things I have said or not said that was so bad. I always had to be right, I always dwelled on the past and her past. I want to work through this and be the husband she deserves but she has closed up to me and says she no longer loves me. We still talk and live together and she says she is trying but she doesnt think it will help. Is there any advice for me to spark the love again and work through this?

Welcome to MB.

Traveling jobs are horrible for a marriage. Who is she spending her time with while you're gone?
_________________________
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.




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#2765382 - 11/11/13 03:34 AM Re: I really want to save our marriage, help please [Re: BrainHurts]
zfletcher Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 11/11/13
Posts: 6
She is home alone with our two kids, we have never cheated

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#2765383 - 11/11/13 03:46 AM Re: I really want to save our marriage, help please [Re: zfletcher]
zfletcher Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 11/11/13
Posts: 6
I know that if I can draw her back in some how we can have a happy life together. I spoke to a marriage coach and he told me everything that was happening without me even telling him. He said to start out small and work onit but im scared she will leave before we can fix it. I love my wife very much and do not want the divorce. Please help.

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#2765384 - 11/11/13 04:30 AM Re: I really want to save our marriage, help please [Re: zfletcher]
BrainHurts Offline
Member

Registered: 11/24/10
Posts: 15124
Loc: Moved to Uranus
MB is the best program to get back on track by Dr. Harley's 15 hours of Undivided attention is huge part of that. Can you get a job back home?

How do you know whom she is with and talking to if you aren't home?

Please read this.
Start Here First-Welcome Aboard

What are her top EN? What Love Busters bare you guilty of?
_________________________
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.




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#2765385 - 11/11/13 04:38 AM Re: I really want to save our marriage, help please [Re: BrainHurts]
zfletcher Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 11/11/13
Posts: 6
The truth is I dont know if there is anyone else. I ask her and she says no but im unsure. And she says I have changed. I have said some things in our marriage I shouldnt have like when my son was born I had made the comment after seeing that, id never lookat her the same. I honestly didnt mean it in a bad way and have said sorry a thousand times but she took it really bad. Also I find myself bringing up her past which always causes problems. I want to believe she isnt talking with someone else but I cant be sure. I have started the love dare and I am on day 9. This started 9 days ago. The days before that we were fine. I want to fix this.

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#2765386 - 11/11/13 04:40 AM Re: I really want to save our marriage, help please [Re: zfletcher]
zfletcher Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 11/11/13
Posts: 6
I wish there was somthing I could do or show her that it can be better if we stick with it. Everytime I bring it up she says she doesnt think anything will help and she cant stop thinking about moving on. I get home on Wednesday and will be home 28 days. I dont want to come back to work with this still going on

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#2765387 - 11/11/13 04:45 AM Re: I really want to save our marriage, help please [Re: zfletcher]
BrainHurts Offline
Member

Registered: 11/24/10
Posts: 15124
Loc: Moved to Uranus
You can deposit all the love bank deposits you want, but if she has someone else it won't do any good.

You need to rule out an affair and/or someone else. Will you put spyware on her computer and phone?
_________________________
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.




Top
#2765388 - 11/11/13 04:48 AM Re: I really want to save our marriage, help please [Re: BrainHurts]
zfletcher Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 11/11/13
Posts: 6
I dont want it to come to that. Do u think If I go to her and ask face to face Wednesday it would help or hurt the situation?

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#2765389 - 11/11/13 05:32 AM Re: I really want to save our marriage, help please [Re: zfletcher]
T0186 Offline
Member

Registered: 11/08/13
Posts: 26
I am in a similar boat there and here is what I did so far...seems to be bringing her back but it is a slow process. The hard part that I am realizing now she basically she feels that moving on is her best option because there is nothing here good for her anymore with the relationship you have. What I would recommend is read through this website and truly try to create the relationship that she wants and show her that you have changed into the man she wants. There has to be good reasons she is leaving. Find it and see what you can do to personally fix it for good. Everyone has their opinion but truly it is how you feel about it. Everyone experiences are different so take what you can from each and try to incorperate it into your relationship.

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