Also, please read this.
Men, Don't Leave your Homes!!!!

I exposed to: family, friends, company.
OM's side: nobody, it's a different country with a language i don't speak. The guy is not on facebook and similars.

But there are news!

We agreed this weekend that we are going for a half year trial period if we can fix the marriage or not. It includes separation from OM, marital thearapy, etc...

I was thinking and I realized we are doing too much plan A as she is a serial cheater.

I told her this morning on skype, that I don't see her commitment strong enough. I asked her to resign immediately. She was very upset. She had concerns about financial issues.

I said if you don't give your notice in, right now, I go for divorce.

She denied to do this. So, I made a plan B letter. I published it to the family. No communication will happen, just by IM.

If she wants R, next day we can go for the therapy if she organize it. Resignation is a must. If she gives in the divorce paper, it's fine. I won't do it until the two year is over.

She is telling us that she really closed communication with OM, but it's just 4 days, so I wouldn't take it too seriously.

No there is no way back, I'm doing plan B.

Sir, talking on Skype wont solve anything.
You need to be with her.

As for the marital therapy, that is a terrible idea.

Guys, no question. She stated divorce.

How to survide this? How?

I was very family oriented. This was my motivation. To go home to my wife and kids.

It's gone. No wife anymore. No kids around me, just sometimes.

How to cope with it????

Sir, do you wish for your wife and children to respect you? Then take a stand and stop cowering at what is happening.

Do not take the third step before the first step.
You have a very good chance of saving your marriage.
Your wife's afair maybe long term, but it is not grounded in reality.
The other man does not have to do anything at the moment: He does not have to provide a place to live and money to eat. He does not have to put up with her menstrual cramps. He does not have to talk about finances with her. He does not need to help her raise and discipline the children. He does not even have to go out on a dat with her!
All he has to do is to sit behind a computer and provide emotional support. And while he is getting credit for doing that YOU are the one who is providing for her in real life.

Now

1. You will have to expose to the other men's side.
- Problem 1: you don't speak the language
Solution: tell us which country it is. There are people
from all over the world posting on these forums and we will
be happy to help. Should
nobody her speak Xosa or the like, you will have to try
google translator (lighten up, that is how the manuals of
cheap products are translated). Or write in English, or ask
the ambassador or the university or websites for
translators or a translation agency (30 Euro per page)
You see, this is a non-problem that can be solved online.
- Problem 2: You do not know the adress of the wife.
The easiest thing would be to snoop. If you know his phone
number or name, try the internet. If that does not work
then you can always hire a PI. By the way, if he is in such
a secluded country (Chechenia?, North Korea?) is it a
muslim country? Because Then you can report him to the
police for adultery etc. They will not only provide you
with the adress, but also take him to court. You are
probably making this harder than it is.
So: get the info so you can expose. This cocroach will flee from the light of day and will have to face reality and the wrath of his wife, who he has been neglecting.

2. Sabotage their contact
Take your wife's phone away. She cannot have contact with that man in your house. If it's a company phone you may be able to take the SIM-card and put it in another phone that you will keep with you. You can then set the phone to forward calls after x seconds. That way you would be able to take any calls coming from the other man yourself, while letting all other calls go through to your wife's phone. Give it some thought and think creatively. Maybe you can block certain websites or disable internet acces. Or just be with her all the time, so she does not have time to contact him. It is highly disrespectful of her to contact him in your own home.

3. Plan A comes before Plan B
Of course you should be stern and tell your wife to cut all contact. But going away and telling her to quit her job from afar has not worked. Of course plan B is in order when plan A fails and you have done everything you can to stop the affair. But you do not seem to be at that point yet. Your wife's number one emotional need she got from the OM may be conversation, admiration or something else, you can probably judge by reading the e-mails.

Now have a bit of patience, because while you are away, it is not possible to do much. But you may be able to organize the adress of the OM and to have a letter in his language written.
Separation at this point is not going to help you save your marriage. You have 2 lovely boys here. You can try harder for them. You do not want them to have another father, do you? Have you worked on eliminating love busters from your side?
Wait with plan B until it is time. Come here to vent and tel us your plans so that you won't don anything stupid because of the stress you are in.

Tell us the language, we would like to help you.

Happyheart

Hi All,

the affair is already exposed.
She is a serial-cheater.
She re-flamed her old affair which happened five years ago. They kept sporadic contact.

I was doing plan A since January.
We agreed having a marital therapy, but I had doubt about her will of cancelling the affair.

I asked her to resign her job as it was a workplace affair (international, anyway), otherwise I said I cannot do it, I'm done.

She said, no problem, divorce.

I see very little hope for R.
It's very painful. I want to be with my family, but my mind suggest me to D.

If you wish to divorce her that is your right, she is a serial cheater, but do not give up on your children!

I don't give up. I'm doing plan B.

And again, my wife states she never had love attachment to me.
She says she never felt romantic love. She married me because I'm a nice person and her best friend.

All Dr. Harley's method is about refueling love which existed before. But if our marriage is based on lie or sub-conscious pretend?

And again, my wife states she never had love attachment to me.
She says she never felt romantic love. She married me because I'm a nice person and her best friend.

All Dr. Harley's method is about refueling love which existed before. But if our marriage is based on lie or sub-conscious pretend?

Nearly ALL Waywards rewrite the marital history and spew all sorts of revisionist remembrances, do uch as stating that they NEVER were in love with their BS anyways, or that the marriage has been over for years, or it has only been a marriage on paper.

What do YOU remember?

LTL

All waywards rewrite history. So of course she's going to say that garbage. Don't believe her fog babble.

You say the affair was exposed, but that you were not able to contact his wife.
His wife will be your biggest ally in keeping him away from his wretched computer.

Have you contacted OM's BW?

It's almost over.

I connected OM's BW. The same day my wife stated that she wants divorce, OM is more important than myself.

She is living with my 2 and 4 year old boy. It's crazy. All my stuff is packed. My flat is not my flat anymore. I took the children for the weekend to my mother's house. Now I'm sitting in my old home, typing my old laptop which is her laptop right now. I have nothing at home.
Today there is no work, I'm waiting for the afternoon to get the children home from the creche.

She will be home in the evening. I don't know what to do, what to say.

If I take the children on the weekend, I support her affair.
If I move out from my home, I support her affair.
If I stay home, I'll go crazy, I cannot live like this anymore.

I'm emotionally attached to her.
She gave me chess-mate.

[censored] sad.

Plan B is almost impossible because of the children. I want daily contact with the kids. We need to discuss many things about them.

Plan A did not work. I also made mistakes, as I allowed overnight separation. I had angry outbursts.

And she was smiling at me and invited me for diner. I said, I stay if you cancel your relationship with OM. Silence. Goodbye. It was yesterday.

I also have written plan B letter, but I was not able to implement it. It was one or two weeks ago. The consequence is now, divorce.

Why did she say that? Because OM called and complained?
It sounds like you may have thrown a wrench into their affair operation.

Have you exposed on www.cheaterville.com?

At this point, I feel you should NOT LEAVE YOUR HOME.
Remain in Plan A.
What did the OM wife say?

Good job for contacting OM's BW.

What did she say?