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#2798840 04/28/14 07:56 PM
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Hi all...most of you won't know who I am...well, some will. I am flattered that my story has been referred to so often. Sorry I haven't checked in often (or at all in 4 years!)

My FWW and I are fantastic!!! It was 8+ years ago that my life was turned upside down...but I took the wise words from the "Wonderful" members here and rode them all the way to the bank! My wife's emotional needs are met everyday, as are mine!!

All who are going through the tough times....please listen to the advice of the sensational folks running this place....it was them who gave me the tools to save my marriage.

The only update I have is that the OM overdosed on drugs a couples years ago and died. Wife found out, and we shared sorrow for him....it was my last proof to her (not that she needed it) that I held no resentment of him.

I hope to pop in a bit more, as I see that infidelity hasn't ended yet!

God bless all!

Last edited by Mywifeilove; 04/28/14 07:58 PM.

BH(me)-46, FWW-43, DS-12, DD-14
A- 6-25-05 'til 5-06...Was Recovered! Back at it on 8/14
ME!!!!!!
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BTW, it's been so long that my threads in my sig aren't showing up, but I know they are still around. Can the mod's change those for me, or do I have to dig DEEP into the archives?


BH(me)-46, FWW-43, DS-12, DD-14
A- 6-25-05 'til 5-06...Was Recovered! Back at it on 8/14
ME!!!!!!
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Hi guy!!! I will let MrW know you are back. Good to see you!! smile


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Hi guy!!! I will let MrW know you are back. Good to see you!! smile

Thanks! BTW, I keep having to log in everytime I switch to a new thread....any reason for this?


BH(me)-46, FWW-43, DS-12, DD-14
A- 6-25-05 'til 5-06...Was Recovered! Back at it on 8/14
ME!!!!!!
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Originally Posted by Mywifeilove
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Hi guy!!! I will let MrW know you are back. Good to see you!! smile

Thanks! BTW, I keep having to log in everytime I switch to a new thread....any reason for this?

how bizarre! I have never heard of that happening. Go check your preferences in "my stuff" and see if your:

Topic Display Mode:
is in: Flat Mode


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Do I want it in Flat mode?


BH(me)-46, FWW-43, DS-12, DD-14
A- 6-25-05 'til 5-06...Was Recovered! Back at it on 8/14
ME!!!!!!
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yes!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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To fix the links in your signature, click on your name, find the right threads and then do it over again in your signature.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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It was already, but I don't seem to be having a problem anymore...go figure!


BH(me)-46, FWW-43, DS-12, DD-14
A- 6-25-05 'til 5-06...Was Recovered! Back at it on 8/14
ME!!!!!!
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Originally Posted by Mywifeilove
It was already, but I don't seem to be having a problem anymore...go figure!

It was Magic Mel!! laugh


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Hey MWIL! You have no idea who I am but I feel like I know who you are. smile I'm one of those who read your entire thread. What a tough story it was but seemed to have a happy ending! Congrats!

Here is the one I read: MWIL

Can you tell us how things went immediately afterwards? It seems your story ended with killing the A. For me, at least, it seems that the killing the A stage was "easy" compared to the rebuilding stage in recovery. Can you fill us in on your recovery journey?


Me (42)
Her (43) - feuillecouleur

DS(11)
DD(7)

Married: June 24, 2000

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Originally Posted by FightTheFight
Hey MWIL! You have no idea who I am but I feel like I know who you are. smile I'm one of those who read your entire thread. What a tough story it was but seemed to have a happy ending! Congrats!

Here is the one I read: MWIL

Can you tell us how things went immediately afterwards? It seems your story ended with killing the A. For me, at least, it seems that the killing the A stage was "easy" compared to the rebuilding stage in recovery. Can you fill us in on your recovery journey?

The exposure is what ultimately kills affairs...think of it as a fuse being lit...it may spark and burn and hiss for awhile, but eventually it explodes.

God it's been so long! I might have to go re-read my threads!

I do know that the key for me after Plan B'ing for awhile was to let my wife come to me...not just for contact with me, but to know that the reason for contact was because she needed me. I then went back to Plan A...gently, still going about my "new" life without her....she saw strength...which, with her sputtering, withering affair, became more attractive. When I picked up the kids, I would ask her how she was doing....after months of not talking to her...this after I knew she was "interested" in me.....then would "hang out" for a bit, bring pizza for the kids before I left....OM found out and went nuts on her! That was the real awakening for her I believe....the affair collapsed....I was there for her to land...and I had become detached enough from her to do so in a manner of strength, not weakness. In the end I was, and am her rock.

The last few years have just been wonderful! 3 more Disney trips with kids, all relationships with my family and her are repaired. Her Mom and Dad both passed away over the last 6 years...I was her rock.

The thing is to always remember that what doesn't kill you will strengthen you, and even moreso when you take the tools with you for the rest of you life. There were a few bumps for the first few months, but that goes with rebuilding trust on both sides.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't actively listen to my wife with the intent of NOT giving advice....just listen! Big emotional need, that I never recognized before the affair.


BH(me)-46, FWW-43, DS-12, DD-14
A- 6-25-05 'til 5-06...Was Recovered! Back at it on 8/14
ME!!!!!!
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Your ears must have been ringing for this timely reappearance.

I believe it was Mr. W whom just referred your thread to someone about 3 days ago seeking out a fulfilling and persistent example of a husband successfully utilizing Plan A in extremely adverse conditions.

Alas, you don't know me either, but your threads are some that i have read from beginning to end when i first arrived.

Your experiences could prove to be very beneficial and instructive to many posters, so with that in mind, as long as it does not take away from your UA time, i hope you stick around.

LTL

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Hey,

I already said hello on that other thread but glad to read this as well. Mrs. W and I are just passing...actually, I think around April 25th or so we just passed 9 years. Wow, we are like Pepperband when we first arrived.

I forget, did your wife ever read your thread???

Praying for your health and hope you get some answers soon.

Mr. W





FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered

"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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Originally Posted by MrWondering
Hey,

I already said hello on that other thread but glad to read this as well. Mrs. W and I are just passing...actually, I think around April 25th or so we just passed 9 years. Wow, we are like Pepperband when we first arrived.

I forget, did your wife ever read your thread???

Praying for your health and hope you get some answers soon.

Mr. W
A bit of it, way in the beginning of recovery, but at that time it was quite painful to her.
And thanks for the health well wishes! Undiagnosed neck/head issues are no fun! But I will overcome!
MWIL

Last edited by Mywifeilove; 04/29/14 10:52 AM.

BH(me)-46, FWW-43, DS-12, DD-14
A- 6-25-05 'til 5-06...Was Recovered! Back at it on 8/14
ME!!!!!!
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Sorry to report, I have a WW again...
I have struggled with a medical issue over the last year that has gone undiagnosed....creating a horrible "nerve/hormone" issue that took away from meeting my wife's emotional needs. I don't have ddetails nor difinitve proof except for her telling me she's lost the "feelings" for me over the last year. But she put a lock on her phone recently and logsout of her FB app on her phone. I confronted her and she lost it. She's been sleeping with the phone under her pillow....I'm pretty sure she's using FB messenger....no details at all of the A. This is so hard.....so deja vu


BH(me)-46, FWW-43, DS-12, DD-14
A- 6-25-05 'til 5-06...Was Recovered! Back at it on 8/14
ME!!!!!!
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Sorry to hear about this. Your evidence is much stronger than just her report of lost feelings. Normal people just don't sleep with their phone under their pillow!

You need to start snooping. How about hiring a PI?


me-65
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Crap...

Both Mrs. W and I are so sorry.

Normally we'd be giving you a ton of advice about snooping and fighting but you are unfortunately already an expert on that. Then again, perhaps your give a crap has just about got up and left.

How old are your kids now?

Might want to get to a doctor today/soon for anti-depressants. This is just so overwhelmingly hurtful.

Mr. W






FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered

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MWIL:
Do NOT blame yourself for her A. You may have dropped the ball on meeting her EN's, but that does NOT entitle her to another A...

(I know you know this... just a reminder...)


Me: BW, 57 fWH: 63 (Taffy1) Serial cheater
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Anyone know how to gain access to her locked FB messenger?


BH(me)-46, FWW-43, DS-12, DD-14
A- 6-25-05 'til 5-06...Was Recovered! Back at it on 8/14
ME!!!!!!
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