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Originally Posted by SFL
Originally Posted by black_raven
Are you open to reconciliation? The drugs add a whole other level of concern. puke

I am actually not open to reconciliation with him.... Hindsight 20/20 + my latest findings point to a big sex addiction, LOTS of issues, and him being into "things" I'm not into.

- When we first got together he wanted to do sexual things I was not into (aggressive/full BDSM things). He dismissed it and said that he wasn't really "into" that sort of stuff- he just thought he'd "try."
(but he did have a own of weird "props" that always had me wondering.)
- When I started snooping months ago I found a lot of bookmarks to BDSM websites.
- There are certain things he has said that have always made me feel like he's had a real love/hate relationship with women in general.
- I just got a credit card bill that shows him spending over 200$ at a store that sells those sorts of things- not just a sex shop but a BDSM shop.
- The date of this purchase was a Friday night in our state. He arrives in our state Friday and stays through Sunday so these purchases weren't for him to use with OW. All signs pointing to him "cheating" on OW
- The last night we were together sexually he was pretty vulgar and rough and promptly "dumped" me the next day.
- When OW's mom called she said that WH was a "serial cheater," I think that he actually told OW that he's cheated on me before.
- The STD tests that I found were months before his supposed first fling.

So, he is a serial cheater and into things sexually I'll never be into.

Really seeing that this divorce is for the best.
-
-
Glad you're strong enough to see all this clearly. Plan B has helped you so much. Good job, my friend.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Jun 2011
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Originally Posted by SFL
Originally Posted by black_raven
Are you open to reconciliation? The drugs add a whole other level of concern. puke

I am actually not open to reconciliation with him.... Hindsight 20/20 + my latest findings point to a big sex addiction, LOTS of issues, and him being into "things" I'm not into.

- When we first got together he wanted to do sexual things I was not into (aggressive/full BDSM things). He dismissed it and said that he wasn't really "into" that sort of stuff- he just thought he'd "try."
(but he did have a own of weird "props" that always had me wondering.)
- When I started snooping months ago I found a lot of bookmarks to BDSM websites.
- There are certain things he has said that have always made me feel like he's had a real love/hate relationship with women in general.
- I just got a credit card bill that shows him spending over 200$ at a store that sells those sorts of things- not just a sex shop but a BDSM shop.
- The date of this purchase was a Friday night in our state. He arrives in our state Friday and stays through Sunday so these purchases weren't for him to use with OW. All signs pointing to him "cheating" on OW
- The last night we were together sexually he was pretty vulgar and rough and promptly "dumped" me the next day.
- When OW's mom called she said that WH was a "serial cheater," I think that he actually told OW that he's cheated on me before.
- The STD tests that I found were months before his supposed first fling.

So, he is a serial cheater and into things sexually I'll never be into.

Really seeing that this divorce is for the best.
-
-


Can't blame you. It can be done but it is a full time babysitting job recovering with a serial cheat. The sexual attitude he has shown towards you too, would sour anyone on the idea.



What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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Originally Posted by SFL
Really seeing that this divorce is for the best.

Agree SFL. I wanted to double ck where your head was in all this. Divorce from my serial cheating ex was for the best too.


BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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SFL,

How are things?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 243
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Posts: 243
Not sure if any of you will still get this reply but I wanted to update everyone. I am happily divorced and so THANKFUL for you and the MB method. Since my experience I have met two others newly going through it and it saddens me to see what doormats they are without implementing this method. Wow. I am so much stronger, and confident and SUCCESSFUL (financially!). I've built my little company up big time and couldn't even imagine doing all of it without the strength of the MB steps. My ex and the original mistress have broken up and he is miserable (from what I hear). My kids are thriving and happy and so am I. Thanks again! xxoo


BS
2 kids- 10yo DS, 5yo DD
Divorced since 12/11/15
Joined: Apr 2001
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Thanks for the update, SFL! Sometimes divorce is the definition of success and I am happy it has worked out for you.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: May 2006
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Congratulations. I was off the forum during your active time. I read your thread (skimmed parts) today because it started with an EA header. I am very impressed with the way you handled what you got handed! As usual, Mel and others gave great consul that you followed quite well. It is good to read of a survivor.


Lake
BW-53
FWH-54
H had EA 3 weeks 06
Married 1977

N C 4-10-06
3 DSs
In Recovery
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